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FAMILY COURT QUESTION

MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
edited September 2010 in General Discussion
To make a long story short in February of this year my EX wife was charged with Felony Aggravated DWI and Endangering the Welfare of a Child. .She wrecked the car with my 9 year old in vehicle, no seat belt , injuries to her face etc..We had joint custody at that time but the kids lived with her..Since the accident I have had RESIDENTIAL CUSTODY .. I am married again , wife works full time job at home and I have my three kids living with me now , son 20 in college, daughter 18 in college and little girl 10 who was involved in accident. My ex wife remarried a week after the accident to another felon. I am about to file for full custody. .Has anyone been in family court and what is it like ? If my two older kids testify will they have to do it in front of their mother ? Will they ask the 10 year old to testify ?Im concerned about them not wanting to do this if she is present .. Is there a jury for this or does the judge make a decision based on all the facts ? I have a lawyer so that is taken care of .. just wanted to hear so first hand info from you boys if you have experienced this ?? This is in New York State..
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Comments

  • wittynbearwittynbear Member Posts: 4,518
    edited November -1
    Every state is different, your best bet is to ask your attorney. If he can't answer your questions you need a new attorney.
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  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,085 ******
    edited November -1
    Been there, done that, and got custody of my boys, AND, my case wasn't nearly as strong as yours.

    My lawyer subpoenaed the 9-1-1 records, the police reports, and put five deputy sheriffs on the stand to testify about family violence and drunkenness.

    It took 90 minutes and I walked out of the courtroom with my boys.

    That was in Texas. Laws vary, legal guidelines vary, and judges for darn sure vary.

    It does sound as though you have a strong case though.
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  • wpagewpage Member Posts: 10,201 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My brother had a somewhat similar situation. I depends on the judge and the state you are in. Listen very carefully to what your attorney advises you and have much dialog with your children. They will not have a clue and may be shocked by the situation B4 during and after the deal is done...
    Good luck!
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  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 14,525 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If you have a clean record there should be no problem.
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  • storm6490storm6490 Member Posts: 8,010
    edited November -1
    Pray for God to guide you and present yourself to the inferior court. No need to hire a third party debt collector. If you are a just and upright man, you will know what to say and do. You can demand justice. If you don't get what you ultimately deserve and want, you then take it to a higher court and hire the scum sucking bar card holder with loyalty to the crown. Or, you bulk up on the book and true law and present yourself in-se (pro-se) to a jury of your peers.
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  • MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Im a FFL dealer with federal and state licenses , no crime record..My business has been here since 1923..
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  • GAGunGalGAGunGal Member Posts: 25 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Your lawyer should have the answer to most of these questions and of course every state and judge is different. Typically the 10 yr old would not be required to testify in front of the mother. Not sure about the 18 and 20 yr old though since they will be considered adults.
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  • WarbirdsWarbirds Member Posts: 16,938 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wear a suit, and nice shoes. Make her look the unfit part.
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  • kidthatsirishkidthatsirish Member Posts: 6,984 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Well...seeing as how she has a record and you dont...I dont think you would have much to worry about.
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  • SCOUT5SCOUT5 Member Posts: 16,181 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    An old man once told me "When you go to court expect neither justice nor mercy".

    You can not be prepared enough. In my experience the "professionals" involved are more concernd with clearing things off their desk/docket and getting paid than anything else.

    It is hard to get a judge to even listen to the facts, usually they want someone else to put it all in short, neat order for them. Most judges are lazy.

    What happens really depends on what judge you get. I lazy one and it can be a nightmare. Get a good one that pays attention and you will not have a problem.

    These last 3 1/2 years have been quite an education for me. With my previous children I had a judge that gave a damn. I didn't always like the judgements but I could understand and repect them. But with my youngest son's mother and the judges we have had I have come to realize a whole different side of the court system.
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  • SCOUT5SCOUT5 Member Posts: 16,181 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by GAGunGal
    Your lawyer should have the answer to most of these questions and of course every state and judge is different. Typically the 10 yr old would not be required to testify in front of the mother. Not sure about the 18 and 20 yr old though since they will be considered adults.


    Here in Indiana the 18 and 20 year old would have to tesify in open court. The only way they would not have to testify in front of the mother is if the mother chose to leave during their testimony.

    You can however keep all witnesses out of the court room except during their testimony. So they would not need to hear each other's testimony or the testimony of the the father and mother. This will help some with family relations after the fact.

    You should be able to protect the 10 year old, even if the judge needs to hear what she has top say.
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  • JustCJustC Member Posts: 16,056 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    can you request that the judge interview them in chambers? Just lawyers present at that point.
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  • djh860djh860 Member Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A single event will not be enough to change the status . You need a material change of circumstances. Marry a felon may not be enough either. What you need to show is a pattern of events that suggest that ongoing conditions for your child living with her mother will endanger or cause unsafe or unacceptable living conditions.

    I found from personal experience that my lawyer would argue before a judge that the earth was flat if I would pay him to do it. She didn't care if I won. She only cared if I would pay her. Ask your lawyer tough questions about your chances of winning.
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  • bpostbpost Member Posts: 32,669 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    NEVER give up, NEVER show anger, NEVER be disrespectful to the other parent (where it can be heard). The issues is about the kids not you or her. Make sure the court knows you encourage contact with the mom (as long as she is sober, supervised and in public) and will bend over backwards to assure a good home free of turmoil for the kids. I got my boys because I listened to the EXPERT lawyer I had.

    Bless you and good luck!
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  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,085 ******
    edited November -1
    The judge in my case did take the boys into his chambers, and did talk to them. I found out later that both boys told the judge they wanted to stay with their mother. It was what they were ordered to say, so they said it. Nonetheless, the judge granted me custody.
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  • tneff1969tneff1969 Member Posts: 6,682 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Best wish's for your children, hopefully your wife will put them first (think you already proved she doesn't). It's cool of you to be the dad you are, in the end that is what they remember. Been down the side of the road they are on when I was a kid, keep doing what you are doing. [:D]
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  • MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thank you ..My biggest concern is that the older ones who I have great relationships with will resent me for this.. they know the little one is better off with me but to have them go in and "throw their mother under a bus" is a tough thing ..They have all the "goods" on her ..
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  • NOAHNOAH Member Posts: 9,690
    edited November -1
    if your lawyer can't answer those questions you need a new lawyer.
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  • MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have a great lawyer but I like first hand info from real people that I know here.. Ive learned more here in 9 years than I have anywhere else..
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  • MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Anybody else been through this ?
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  • MFIMFI Member Posts: 7,899 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BTT
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