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Dating profile feedback
nemesisenforcer
Member Posts: 10,513 ✭✭✭
Was thinking about starting online dating and worked up this rough draft of a profile.
Feedback appreciated
About Me:
Look: A voice and a face built for radio. Body: modern day action hero. Think Jason Statham with Vin Diesel arms and Dwayne Johnson legs.
Likes: doomsday prepping, unusual sex, vanilla Diet Cokes, getting high, unusual sex, hot wings, progressive reloading, concerts, hacking life, and playing ninjas.
Looking for: extreme couponer, 18+ (per the restraining order), preferably with small feet to stand closer to the sink while you do the dishes, hopefully into Super Mario brothers cosplay, athletic, bald OK but wigs required if so, race doesn't matter but please provide DNA ancestry results demonstrating Limpieza de sangre.
Feedback appreciated
About Me:
Look: A voice and a face built for radio. Body: modern day action hero. Think Jason Statham with Vin Diesel arms and Dwayne Johnson legs.
Likes: doomsday prepping, unusual sex, vanilla Diet Cokes, getting high, unusual sex, hot wings, progressive reloading, concerts, hacking life, and playing ninjas.
Looking for: extreme couponer, 18+ (per the restraining order), preferably with small feet to stand closer to the sink while you do the dishes, hopefully into Super Mario brothers cosplay, athletic, bald OK but wigs required if so, race doesn't matter but please provide DNA ancestry results demonstrating Limpieza de sangre.
Comments
Accentuate the positive...
He said 'unusual sex' twice, don't you think that's enough?
Feedback appreciated
Hey, ya never know til ya try![;)]
Mine would be:
A practicing curmudgeon that can out cook most women, wants a lady to share life with, no druggies, drunks or drama queens. If you are raising your failed offspring's children, do not bother writing. I did my job and ain't rearing other peoples kids for them.
If you have issues with your ex, don't bother writing. I don't do drama.
If you voted for Obama or Hillary, think government is an answer to life's issues, don't bother writing we are not compatible.
Money, have some of your own, I will share my life and possessions but they are mine; if all you bring to the plate is debt and a suitcase, don't bother writing.
After more careful consideration, I don't need the headaches so don't bother writing.
Have a nice day! Bruce
Yep, you're definitely looking for a boyfriend that has small feet so after he has sex with you, I don't have to walk bull legged[:D]
My first thought was that you looking for a boyfriend. I mean when you say "bald is OK", and into Super Mario Bothers cross play, and for your likes "unusual sex"
Yep, you're definitely looking for a boyfriend that has small feet so after he has sex with you, I don't have to walk bull legged[:D]
So you don't have to walk bull legged?
At least buy the man dinner before you slip off the size 7s and jump straight into jazz hands and show tunes, you old meat gazer you.[:D]
quote:Originally posted by remingtonoaks
My first thought was that you looking for a boyfriend. I mean when you say "bald is OK", and into Super Mario Bothers cross play, and for your likes "unusual sex"
Yep, you're definitely looking for a boyfriend that has small feet so after he has sex with you, I don't have to walk bull legged[:D]
So you don't have to walk bull legged?
At least buy the man dinner before you slip off the size 7s and jump straight into jazz hands and show tunes, you old meat gazer you.[:D]
I have a dog, I don't need to go out to have sex [:0]
quote:Originally posted by 35 Whelen
quote:Originally posted by remingtonoaks
My first thought was that you looking for a boyfriend. I mean when you say "bald is OK", and into Super Mario Bothers cross play, and for your likes "unusual sex"
Yep, you're definitely looking for a boyfriend that has small feet so after he has sex with you, I don't have to walk bull legged[:D]
So you don't have to walk bull legged?
At least buy the man dinner before you slip off the size 7s and jump straight into jazz hands and show tunes, you old meat gazer you.[:D]
I have a dog, I don't need to go out to have sex [:0]
Neither does the dog.[:0]
I met more woman by accident than anything else. Course I am still a chick magnet, [:0][:o)][:I]
Niller diet Cokes?? [B)][xx(]
I met more woman by accident than anything else. Course I am still a chick magnet, [:0][:o)][:I]
yep, chickens do like eating grasshoppers don't they[:D]
Niller diet Cokes?? [B)][xx(]
I met more woman by accident than anything else. Course I am still a chick magnet, [:0][:o)][:I]
It's that industrial magnet you bought from the Ukrainian "businessman"
It keeps pulling them in by their metallic hips.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
Oh, and a picture of a cat crapping in my garden. Looks like it's been planted in the 5 gallon bucket.
quote:Originally posted by Grasshopper
Niller diet Cokes?? [B)][xx(]
I met more woman by accident than anything else. Course I am still a chick magnet, [:0][:o)][:I]
yep, chickens do like eating grasshoppers don't they[:D]
Yep,, I have thrown hundreds of grasshoppers in the coop as a kid,, nary a one escaped/