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All men are scum?

.280 freak.280 freak Member Posts: 1,942 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited May 2006 in General Discussion
Speaking mainly to those females who are of the mindset that all men are scum, interested only in sex, I have an uplifting little story for you that might just cause you to reconsider.

I was attending my 35th high school reunion last year and happened to run into "Bob" (not his real name, obviously). Had barely changed, physically; would have recognized him anywhere. Still had the full, lush head of hair, great posture and athlete's body.

In school, Bob had it all: great looks, intellect, came from a wealthy, influential family, played on pretty much all the teams -basketball, baseball, and football, where he was the star quarterback who lead the team to state championships two years in a row. He was class president and was voted "Most likely to Succeed".

After a bit of small talk, he happened to glance past me and his eyes lit up. "Hey, Clem", he said, "I want to introduce you to my wife". I turned to say hello to her and I think that my jaw probably came within inches of hitting the ground! I was expecting a stunningly beautiful trophy wife, but what I saw was the exact opposite. To call this gal homely is to do a disservice to the word. Oh my God, what a horrifically ugly woman!

I somehow managed to keep my composure and was as polite as I could be, resisting the urge to either laugh or just stand and stare at her.

After a few minutes, she excused herself, saying that she needed to "use the facilities". As she walked away, Bob said "I know what you're thinking; you're wondering how I ended up with her, aren't you? Well, it's an interesting story."

He went on to explain that after high school he had gone on to attend a famous Ivy League college where he got a Law degree. While going to college, he of course dated. A lot. With his looks, money, and brains, he could pretty much pick and choose whatever girl struck his fancy. He went out with any number of beautiful women, normally a new one every weekend.

In his Junior year, his father phoned him, requesting a favor. An old family friend had recently relocated with his wife and daughter, Emily (also, obviously not her real name), to the city where Bob was attending college.

Bob went on - "Dad asked me if I would take Emily out on a date, as she didn't know anybody there. Now, I remembered her as a rather unattractive young girl, but I thought, what the heck, I go out with gorgeous women all the time, I can afford to give the poor girl a break. Imagine my surprise when I saw her and realized that her looks hadn't improved, they had gotten worse, much worse! Still. a promise is a promise, so, off we went."

"I took her to places where I knew we wouldn't run into any of my friends; miniature golf at an old amusement park, took in a movie at an out of the way theater and finished up at an obscure restaurant. When I went to take her back home, I suddenly realized something. She had been more fun than any of the other women that I had been dating."

"She had a delightful sense of humor, answering every joke I had with a better one of her own. And what a mind! She could converse intelligently on virtually any subject; politics, science, the arts, mundane everyday life, whatever. It didn't matter what we talked about, she knew enough about it to keep up her end of the conversation and had some very unique insights to offer."

"We stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, saying our goodbyes. I could tell that wanted me to kiss her goodnight, so I screwed up my courage and closed my eyes and kissed her. It was just like kissing any other woman. By the way that she was pressing up against me, she seemed to be encouraging me to go further. I thought, what the heck, kept my eyes closed and put my hand up under her blouse. Once again, just like any other woman."

"By this time, I was wondering how to break this off and make my escape. I decided to go for "third base", thinking that she would then pull away and I could go. So, I put my hand, well, you know where I put it!"

About this time, a real strange look came over Bob's face, sort of a cross between puzzlement and pure lust. He went on to say - "I don't quite know how to describe what I felt, most definitely NOT just like any other woman! Only way to describe it is to ask - have you ever had a horse eat oats out of your hand?"


Aw crap. I just realized, this story did NOT prove that all men are not pigs, interested only in sex.

Never mind.

Comments

  • 1911a1-fan1911a1-fan Member Posts: 51,193 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    i knew a pretty girl that had that talent, she could darn near lift you off the ground with it
  • SperrySperry Member Posts: 5,006 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Maybe not scum, but 90% of us are pigs.

    I realized [the theme of your story] in collage, after learning women picked men for more than their looks. And that it goes both ways. When I surprise my wife, getting off the train after work, tired, a little hunched, and trudging, I see a woman like most others after a beat day at work. But when I get a smile at 40 yards, a little straightening of the spine, and a quicker step, I realize that my ugly face, withered frame, and companionship is all she needs. And all she wants.
  • sheepdipsheepdip Member Posts: 3,124
    edited November -1
  • Rebel_JamesRebel_James Member Posts: 4,746
    edited November -1
    "All men are scum, only interested in sex!"


    What's so bad about that!!!!?????
  • scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
    edited November -1
    whatever.... the truth is he knocked her up at the frat "ugly woman" party and her dad had evidence of his cocaine habit so he married her and got used to it...
  • tsavo303tsavo303 Member Posts: 8,913 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    all men are pigs, there are no execptions...
    just a few that act like they are not,so they don't displease women
  • gclmemgclmem Member Posts: 346 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Like a horse eating oats out of you hand??????

    Must be like kissing Ellen DeGeneres.....you think?
  • fishermanbenfishermanben Member Posts: 15,370
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
    i knew a pretty girl that had that talent, she could darn near lift you off the ground with it


    they play hell with prophylactics.[:0]

    Ben
  • gbeggrowgbeggrow Member Posts: 5,499
    edited November -1
    We can't help it....it's just instinct![:D]
  • wanted manwanted man Member Posts: 3,276
    edited November -1
    All men are scum?

    We spend the first nine months of our lives trying to get OUT of the same thing we spend THE REST OF OUR LIVES trying to get into![}:)]
  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    All men are scum.

    All women are scum suckers.
  • Slow_HandSlow_Hand Member Posts: 2,835
    edited November -1
    If your allegations about the various "shortcomings" of men are true, then you should be somewhat grateful and relieved that we're all so predictable. My question is, however, what is it about US that you ladies simply can't get enough of? Why do you go after US the way you do, let us chase you until YOU catch US, rush to marry US, want to have kids with US, and won't dare let go of US unless it comes at a steep price - to US? Just curious......[:)][:)]
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Besides the suction of it, do you recall the Calypso song "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly woman to be your wife"?
  • Bolivers WifeBolivers Wife Member Posts: 1,972 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by .280 freak



    Aw crap. I just realized, this story did NOT prove that all men are not pigs, interested only in sex.

    Never mind.


    YEAH AND THAT IS ALL I"M INTERESTED IN TO *LOL* the real difference is that men will admit they just want sex and most women wont[;)]
  • ghotie_thumperghotie_thumper Member Posts: 1,561 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    "All men are scum"

    So where is the problem?
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