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A Plea for Help!

RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
edited August 2002 in General Discussion
Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living
at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.
And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life
giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming
strike situation. But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of
a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically
viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the
problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary,
but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player
it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida
or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more
than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical
insurance, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily
salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate,
and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.

Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo
of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the
Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the
photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be
able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
below:

[ ] Infielder

[ ] Outfielder

[ ] Starting Pitcher

[ ] Ace Pitcher

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a

specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the
player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the
player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income
Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear
proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: _______________________

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-F%*&-THE-FANS
now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they
have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not
limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties.
Contributions are not tax-deductible.

Comments

  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

    Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds,
    401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

    [ ] Infielder

    [ ] Outfielder

    [ ] Starting Pitcher

    [ ] Ace Pitcher

    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
    specific team - $10 per minute)

    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

    Your Name: _______________________
    Telephone Number: _______________________
    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

    Signature: _______________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

    Signature: _______________________

    Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-DUMB-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

    Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
    sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties.

    Contributions are not tax-deductible.


    Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You should have put baseball in the title. That way I would not have opened it. I want to help so bad, I just can't seem to find my credit card. Just kiddin, good one.

    If I knew then, what I know now.
  • leeblackmanleeblackman Member Posts: 5,303 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Heck, I hate baseball anyway, its boring. They should just fire all them punks and start a new sport like baseketball...

    If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.

    The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
  • bartobarto Member Posts: 4,734 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    basketball is'nt a game, its a marathon.
    barto

    the hard stuff we do right away - the impossible takes a little longer
  • muleymuley Member Posts: 1,583 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning. But, I'm with you all the way on this one.
    muley

    **I love the smell of Hoppes #9 in the morning**
  • ccasey612ccasey612 Member Posts: 901 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm with leeblackman. Baseketball!!

    If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
  • doomsknight62doomsknight62 Member Posts: 239 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I already signed up for this program. After about a month of sending them money, I started getting thank-you letters and photographs of my star player in action. Worth every penny.

    Seriously, though, I haven't watched baseball or collected baseball cards since they went on strike. Bunch of sissies, I say.

    " God is in His Heaven, All is Right in the World. "
  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,465 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I wept when I read about these poor men's plight. I just can't fathom them trying to get along making 15-20 times what I do.


    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
  • NighthawkNighthawk Member Posts: 12,022 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thats a weeks salary for me,if I could help someone it would not be a baseball player.There killing theirselves with the American public.


    Best!!

    Rugster


    Toujours Pret
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I like baseball. I have seen games in a number of stadiums around the country. Now, the millionaire boys and the billionaire boys are squabbling about how to split the money. Kinda hard to work up a lot of sympathy ain't it?

    A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
  • Patrick OdlePatrick Odle Member Posts: 951 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    PLEASE! don't hold your breath waiting on me.I quit them yhe first time round and wouldn't go back if it hair-lipped every cat in the country.
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