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The new army

gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
edited July 2002 in General Discussion
Picture troops under fire, desperately needing artillery support,
making a cell phone call and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling the 25th Infantry Division's automated
artillery support request line. Please be assured that we will
attempt to assist you with all available resources in the shortest
time possible.

"Please stay on the line. Your call is
important to us and will be answered in the order received."

For air support, please call the U.S. Air Force at 1-800-BOMBNOW.
For naval gun fire, please call 1-888-SEASICK.
If you are attacking a fixed enemy position, please press 1.
If you are engaged in mobile defense, please press 2.
If you are defending a fixed position, please press 3.
If you are setting up a hasty defense or are about to be overrun,
please press 4.
If you wish to cancel a prior fire mission request, please press 5.
Press the star key at any time to return to the main menu.
If you are using a TA-312, remain on the line and one of our
customer support counselors will be with you shortly.
Please select the type of fire mission you would like.
If you would like 81 mm or 4.2 inch mortars, please press 1.
If you would like 155 mm howitzers, please press 2.
If you would like advanced munitions, such as fuel-oil explosives or
scattering mines, please press 3 to speak with one of our soldier
advocates to complete our brief Advanced Firepower Usage Survey.
If you would like to request chemical or nuclear weapons, please
press 4 and hold the line. The Secretary of Defense will speak with
you as soon as possible.

Enter the map coordinates of the target you would like to strike,
followed by the pound sign.
If you need to enter map grid designations, please use the star for
a q.; and the pound sign for an i;

Please remember to verify your coordinates and that your request
may take several minute to process.

[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep]
You have entered co-ordinates 32364519.
If this is correct, please press 1.
If this is incorrect, please press 2 and re-enter the coordinates.
Thank you.
Please enter your battalion, company and platoon pass codes, each
followed by the pound sign. As soon as we verify your pass codes,
we will begin processing your request.
If you have forgotten your pass code, please contact 1-800-IFORGOT
for a temporary pass code.

Please enter your pass code now.
[Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep-beep-#, beep-beep-beep- beep-beep-beep-#]

Thank you. [Pause] Your pass codes have been verified and your
request will be processed.

We strongly suggest that you and your comrades take cover as soon as
possible.

Thank you for using the 25th Infantry Division's artillery request
support line and have a nice day.

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