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Memo found from Bin Laden
dheffley
Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
I N T E R C A V E M E M O From: Bin Laden, Osama Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM To: All Staff Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says"Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. Also, kudos to Hakim for sortingout the ammo bin. I don't think anyone was looking forward to that! Thanks, buddy! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns: First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening. Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks. Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together. Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying. Fifth: Everyone needs a little tension relief, and practical jokes are a good way to do that. Everyone likes a little humor, especially me, but some of you are taking it a little too far. The pork rinds in the Cheetos bowl at the social on Friday evening were pretty cute, but let me be clear on this: I will be forced to hang the next man I find shining a laser pointer at me. It's always funny till someone gets hurt. Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Mohammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard. Love you lots. Osama
Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
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when all else fails........................