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More Redneck Jokes...
turbo
Member Posts: 820 ✭✭✭✭
This is NOT meant to offend any of our 'country cousins'.
Did you hear about the Kentucky red neck who passed
away and left his entire estate in trust for his
beloved widow? The only catch is that she can't touch
it until she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky
hotel? When you call the front desk an say, "I've got
a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk
says, "Go ahead."
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on
I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver
says, "Bout what?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and
one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,
"Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?' "Jes' some
chickens." If I guesses how many they is, kin I have
one?" "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I' give you both of
'em!"
Okay......Ummmmmmm ....five?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in
groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The
operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a
long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to
Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in
Alabama to 32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the
high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in
Mississippi?......................Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Kentucky. If it
was invented anywhere else, it would have been called
a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State
Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million
years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Because all bros. there have the same DNA.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so
that when a couple gets divorced, they're still
brother and sister.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and
a hurricane in Florida have in common? Either way,
somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
"The great object is that every man.... everyone who is able may have a gun." Patrick Henry
Did you hear about the Kentucky red neck who passed
away and left his entire estate in trust for his
beloved widow? The only catch is that she can't touch
it until she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky
hotel? When you call the front desk an say, "I've got
a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk
says, "Go ahead."
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on
I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver
says, "Bout what?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and
one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says,
"Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?' "Jes' some
chickens." If I guesses how many they is, kin I have
one?" "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I' give you both of
'em!"
Okay......Ummmmmmm ....five?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in
groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911
operator told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The
operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a
long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to
Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in
Alabama to 32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the
high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in
Mississippi?......................Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Kentucky. If it
was invented anywhere else, it would have been called
a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State
Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million
years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Because all bros. there have the same DNA.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so
that when a couple gets divorced, they're still
brother and sister.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and
a hurricane in Florida have in common? Either way,
somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
"The great object is that every man.... everyone who is able may have a gun." Patrick Henry