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What a mess, but it's just about over.
dheffley
Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
Mothers funeral was last Thursday. Even the Florida family was able to make it in. She was beautiful, and there were so many flowers that we had to use three trucks to move them. She would have loved it!
The service was beautiful and full of family and friends from 28 states. There was only one problem. My uncle (her brother) wanted his pastor to do the funeral. Mothers pastor had retired 4 years ago, and passed away a little over a year ago. She didn't really know the new pastor of her church because she hadn't been able to get out an attend due to her failing health for the last 3 or 4 years. The visiting minister from the church (who came to see her every Sunday) said he would do the funeral, and that is who we had originally wanted. But, being the softy I am, I told my little sister that if it was important to her brother, it was important to me.
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!
The man was absolutly the worst I've ever heard, and he got most if not all of the facts of my mothers life wrong, even after spending 3 hours with us the day before. He couldn't even get her age right. He thought she was born in 1932 instead of 1922. He forgot to mention my older brother and older sister who died in 1992 and 1996. He got my wifes name wrong, and failed to mention 5 of her grandchildren and all of her great grandchildren. He got my fathers name wrong, which is odd because he got mine correct, and I was named after dad! Every sentence ended with either "alright" or "and so on". Even when he quoted scripture from the bible, he misqouted it.
My poor baby sister was about to have a stroke. She leaned over to me and asked me to end it. I gave him the "wrap-it-up" sign, which he must have taken for "step-it-up". I finally handed the funeral director a note that said, "end it now!" He got the note to the preacher from behind him and it only took him another 5 minutes of spewing falsehoods to finish. When we got to the grave side, I told him a quick prayer and that's it.
Everyone at the graveside and after the funeral were talking about it, and how bad it was. At the gathering after the funeral, my uncle kept going around telling everyone, "did the pastor do a great job". I wanted to choke him!
At least it's over!
Taking care of a few business things today, and I have to send the pastor a check. Guess that's what brought all of this up again. I sure am going to miss that lady, and it was sure tough to go clear out her apartment at the assisted living center. She's still in my heart, and she'll live there forever.
Thanks for letting me rant. I just needed to vent about the pastor. Mother isn't suffering and is in a better place. God Bless you mom!
How you doin'!
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded by
UNITED STATES MARINES!
The service was beautiful and full of family and friends from 28 states. There was only one problem. My uncle (her brother) wanted his pastor to do the funeral. Mothers pastor had retired 4 years ago, and passed away a little over a year ago. She didn't really know the new pastor of her church because she hadn't been able to get out an attend due to her failing health for the last 3 or 4 years. The visiting minister from the church (who came to see her every Sunday) said he would do the funeral, and that is who we had originally wanted. But, being the softy I am, I told my little sister that if it was important to her brother, it was important to me.
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!
The man was absolutly the worst I've ever heard, and he got most if not all of the facts of my mothers life wrong, even after spending 3 hours with us the day before. He couldn't even get her age right. He thought she was born in 1932 instead of 1922. He forgot to mention my older brother and older sister who died in 1992 and 1996. He got my wifes name wrong, and failed to mention 5 of her grandchildren and all of her great grandchildren. He got my fathers name wrong, which is odd because he got mine correct, and I was named after dad! Every sentence ended with either "alright" or "and so on". Even when he quoted scripture from the bible, he misqouted it.
My poor baby sister was about to have a stroke. She leaned over to me and asked me to end it. I gave him the "wrap-it-up" sign, which he must have taken for "step-it-up". I finally handed the funeral director a note that said, "end it now!" He got the note to the preacher from behind him and it only took him another 5 minutes of spewing falsehoods to finish. When we got to the grave side, I told him a quick prayer and that's it.
Everyone at the graveside and after the funeral were talking about it, and how bad it was. At the gathering after the funeral, my uncle kept going around telling everyone, "did the pastor do a great job". I wanted to choke him!
At least it's over!
Taking care of a few business things today, and I have to send the pastor a check. Guess that's what brought all of this up again. I sure am going to miss that lady, and it was sure tough to go clear out her apartment at the assisted living center. She's still in my heart, and she'll live there forever.
Thanks for letting me rant. I just needed to vent about the pastor. Mother isn't suffering and is in a better place. God Bless you mom!
How you doin'!
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded by
UNITED STATES MARINES!
Comments
May she rest in peace...stay strong and godbless.
"The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long..."
If it helps at all I'll share something that happened to my grandfather before his funeral. The automobile that was carrying my grandfather's body and casket got into a wreck (due to carelessness by the driver) and the casket and my grandfather's body went flying out of the car. They had to get another vehicle and put him back into the casket!
Today, the family looks at it like the one last prank my grandfather pulled on us.
Again, my deepest sympathies for your loss.
Take care of yourself,
G36
Gun Control Disarms Victims, NOT CriminalsThe 2nd Amendment; America's Original Homeland Security
They are no longer in pain & are now peaceful.
Our hearts go out to you & your family.
Walte & Doris in OKC
I'm sorry for your loss Danny. In a time of such stress you don't expect the minister to add more weight to your shoulders. But, you took it in stride and kept trudging forward.
Ben
I root for the
AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
10 yrs ago when we buried my younger brother, his parish priest was away and a stand in conducted the ceremony. DID NOT KNOW MY BROTHER! He called him Georgie (he was 43) during the service and then a bunch of generalities that could have accrued to your friends dog.
My parents were devastated and the only way I kept my Dad from having a coronary was to put them into the car and drive from Fla where he lived back to home in Md. The only good part was all the attendees at the reception afterwards set the record straight for all peripheral guests.
But, as others have said, let that not deminish your mothers memory...who appears to have been a saintly woman and deserved of a better eulogy.
"the difference between the almost right word and the right word is like the difference between a lightning bug and a lightning bolt" - Mark Twain.
Same thing happenned at my beloved Grandmother's funeral last year. My grandmother practically raised me so she was more like a mother to me. The poor old reverend mutilated the story of her life to the point where the family was sitting there in wonderment and shock.
After his honor had ceased with the butchery, I walked to the pulpit and corrected his mistakes. I did it nicely, but felt it needed to be done.
The reverend was most apologetic after that, and we were kind in return. Mistakes happen, but I guess I am too much of a hot head to sit still.
In retrospect I suppose I should have just let it go...
Mateomasfeo
"I am what I am!" - Popeye
HOW YOU DOIN'! ?
I haven't been taking as good of care of myself as I should, especially over the last few weeks. I hope to get back on track Friday when I go back to restart the treatments. Had to take care of first things first. Now I can concentrate on my health.
How you doin'!
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded by
UNITED STATES MARINES!
The minister was just a brief flash in the memory of your mother. Some day you will smile at his eneptitude. My mother passed about 15 years ago. Before the service began the minister introduced himself to me. As in your mother's case the minister had preceeded her. I am in Indy and the rest of the family lived in scenic Peoria. The minister started asking me about details concerning my religous beliefs. My dad and I were of different religions than mom and my sister. After answering the first 2 or so it became apparent to me that this was some kind of a quiz not gunuine interest. I made it quite clear how I felt to him and anyone else within 20 feet. I wouldn't have even thought about the jerk without your post.
cbxjeff<P>It's too late for me, save yourself. <br>
Now that it is over, GET BACK to your own health issues. [:(!]
The gene pool needs chlorine.