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What a mess, but it's just about over.

dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000
edited October 2004 in General Discussion
Mothers funeral was last Thursday. Even the Florida family was able to make it in. She was beautiful, and there were so many flowers that we had to use three trucks to move them. She would have loved it!

The service was beautiful and full of family and friends from 28 states. There was only one problem. My uncle (her brother) wanted his pastor to do the funeral. Mothers pastor had retired 4 years ago, and passed away a little over a year ago. She didn't really know the new pastor of her church because she hadn't been able to get out an attend due to her failing health for the last 3 or 4 years. The visiting minister from the church (who came to see her every Sunday) said he would do the funeral, and that is who we had originally wanted. But, being the softy I am, I told my little sister that if it was important to her brother, it was important to me.

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!

The man was absolutly the worst I've ever heard, and he got most if not all of the facts of my mothers life wrong, even after spending 3 hours with us the day before. He couldn't even get her age right. He thought she was born in 1932 instead of 1922. He forgot to mention my older brother and older sister who died in 1992 and 1996. He got my wifes name wrong, and failed to mention 5 of her grandchildren and all of her great grandchildren. He got my fathers name wrong, which is odd because he got mine correct, and I was named after dad! Every sentence ended with either "alright" or "and so on". Even when he quoted scripture from the bible, he misqouted it.

My poor baby sister was about to have a stroke. She leaned over to me and asked me to end it. I gave him the "wrap-it-up" sign, which he must have taken for "step-it-up". I finally handed the funeral director a note that said, "end it now!" He got the note to the preacher from behind him and it only took him another 5 minutes of spewing falsehoods to finish. When we got to the grave side, I told him a quick prayer and that's it.

Everyone at the graveside and after the funeral were talking about it, and how bad it was. At the gathering after the funeral, my uncle kept going around telling everyone, "did the pastor do a great job". I wanted to choke him!

At least it's over!

Taking care of a few business things today, and I have to send the pastor a check. Guess that's what brought all of this up again. I sure am going to miss that lady, and it was sure tough to go clear out her apartment at the assisted living center. She's still in my heart, and she'll live there forever.

Thanks for letting me rant. I just needed to vent about the pastor. Mother isn't suffering and is in a better place. God Bless you mom!

How you doin'!
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If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded by
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Comments

  • robomanroboman Member Posts: 6,436
    edited November -1
    Danny, don't let this hack of a minister dimish your mother's memory. It's obvious that she raised you correctly. I may not have known her, but I know you and how great of a person you are, and that's enough for me to realize what a heck of a job she did raising you.

    May she rest in peace...stay strong and godbless.


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    "The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long..."
  • concealedG36concealedG36 Member Posts: 3,566 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Danny, I'm sorry to hear about the problems at the funeral. I too would feel angry if a pastor deeply disrespected my mother by getting the facts all wrong.

    If it helps at all I'll share something that happened to my grandfather before his funeral. The automobile that was carrying my grandfather's body and casket got into a wreck (due to carelessness by the driver) and the casket and my grandfather's body went flying out of the car. They had to get another vehicle and put him back into the casket!

    Today, the family looks at it like the one last prank my grandfather pulled on us.

    Again, my deepest sympathies for your loss.

    Take care of yourself,
    G36




    Gun Control Disarms Victims, NOT CriminalsThe 2nd Amendment; America's Original Homeland Security
  • IAMACLONE_2IAMACLONE_2 Member Posts: 4,725
    edited November -1
    HEFF; Know what you mean, glad it's over, went throught the same type deal with my dad last year & my sister last month.
    They are no longer in pain & are now peaceful.
    Our hearts go out to you & your family.
    Walte & Doris in OKC
  • fishermanbenfishermanben Member Posts: 15,370
    edited November -1
    Must be a weekend for strange funerals. I was at a funeral this weekend. The eulogy started out: "It is no secret that Rick's alcoholism and selfishness caused much pain and sadness to the people who loved him the most..." It ended on a brighter note, but wohdoggy, I about fell out of my seat.

    I'm sorry for your loss Danny. In a time of such stress you don't expect the minister to add more weight to your shoulders. But, you took it in stride and kept trudging forward.

    Ben

    I root for the logo_chc_79x76.jpg and anyone who is playing the Cardinals.gif
  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
    edited November -1
    Gee whiz Danny, that doesn't even qualify as a rant. Sorry to hear of the problems. Remember she will always live thru you and I know you are still making her proud.

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    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
  • greeker375greeker375 Member Posts: 3,644
    edited November -1
    Danny, I know full well what you went through, but, not a suggested one as you had, more of all that was available.

    10 yrs ago when we buried my younger brother, his parish priest was away and a stand in conducted the ceremony. DID NOT KNOW MY BROTHER! He called him Georgie (he was 43) during the service and then a bunch of generalities that could have accrued to your friends dog.

    My parents were devastated and the only way I kept my Dad from having a coronary was to put them into the car and drive from Fla where he lived back to home in Md. The only good part was all the attendees at the reception afterwards set the record straight for all peripheral guests.

    But, as others have said, let that not deminish your mothers memory...who appears to have been a saintly woman and deserved of a better eulogy.





    "the difference between the almost right word and the right word is like the difference between a lightning bug and a lightning bolt" - Mark Twain.
  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    Danny, I feel your pain. Been there.

    Same thing happenned at my beloved Grandmother's funeral last year. My grandmother practically raised me so she was more like a mother to me. The poor old reverend mutilated the story of her life to the point where the family was sitting there in wonderment and shock.

    After his honor had ceased with the butchery, I walked to the pulpit and corrected his mistakes. I did it nicely, but felt it needed to be done.

    The reverend was most apologetic after that, and we were kind in return. Mistakes happen, but I guess I am too much of a hot head to sit still.

    In retrospect I suppose I should have just let it go...



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    Mateomasfeo

    "I am what I am!" - Popeye
  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 14,525 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No need for words Danny. you know how I feel. I am still worried about you though.
    HOW YOU DOIN'! ?
  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000
    edited November -1
    Rosie,

    I haven't been taking as good of care of myself as I should, especially over the last few weeks. I hope to get back on track Friday when I go back to restart the treatments. Had to take care of first things first. Now I can concentrate on my health.

    How you doin'!
    wolf_evil_smile_md_wht.gif

    bumpersticker.gif

    If the Army and the Navy
    Ever look on Heaven's scenes;
    They will find the streets are guarded by
    UNITED STATES MARINES!
  • jimmyxiexiangjimmyxiexiang Member Posts: 24 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I am sorry to hear that Danny, forgeting the unhappy, god bless your mother.
  • cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,637 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Danny,

    The minister was just a brief flash in the memory of your mother. Some day you will smile at his eneptitude. My mother passed about 15 years ago. Before the service began the minister introduced himself to me. As in your mother's case the minister had preceeded her. I am in Indy and the rest of the family lived in scenic Peoria. The minister started asking me about details concerning my religous beliefs. My dad and I were of different religions than mom and my sister. After answering the first 2 or so it became apparent to me that this was some kind of a quiz not gunuine interest. I made it quite clear how I felt to him and anyone else within 20 feet. I wouldn't have even thought about the jerk without your post.

    cbxjeff<P>It's too late for me, save yourself. <br>
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry to hear about this Danny. [:(]
    Now that it is over, GET BACK to your own health issues. [:(!]

    The gene pool needs chlorine.
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