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The smoking jacket.

shaneshane Member Posts: 882 ✭✭✭✭
edited September 2001 in General Discussion
I made the BIG mistake of telling my best friend that I was thinking about buying a smoking jacket the other day. I was joking but he didn't know that. He just looked at me and said "why in heavens name would you do somthing like that?" I told him that I thought it would look cool on me. My friend looks at me for about a whole minute and finally says "nope,it would look more like a bowtie on a pitbull" I never told him that I was joking and now he's worried that I'm working too hard and about to lose my mind. The best thing about true friends is that they are honest with you...........I guess I should tell him that I was joking, or maby I'll just play it out a few more days!
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Comments

  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Tell ya what man,that Rembrandt has got us all just a little bit nutty lately!
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  • shaneshane Member Posts: 882 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Yea, OL'Rem can paint some big ideas in a mans mind. But I don't care how good he makes gator wrestling sound I'm not gettin in the water with one of those things without a gun!
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  • opentopopentop Member Posts: 143 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hey Shane, here's what you do. Go to a thrift store and buy a cheap, old "smoking jacket". A really gaudy 70's one, and buy some cigars. Then invite your friend over for some brandy and cigars. That'll really blow his brain housing group.
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  • shaneshane Member Posts: 882 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Yea, That would be funny. I'll look around for one!
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  • opentopopentop Member Posts: 143 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Yeah I always did love a good practicle joke that doesn't cost too much and where no one gets hurt. Just be sure to have few icy cold brews for after the laughter subsides, so that his ego won't be too badly bruised.
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  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    Beekeep said nutty! That rembrant aint got us as nutty as that arkresearch feller. That boy is a few aspirin short of a full medicine cabinet.
    If you run, you'll just die tired!
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Now I'm really worried I've gone off the deep edge. I'm refered to in the same sentence with Ark?....Please, someone get me some help before the mother ship returns.Shane, you don't have a thing to worry about when wrestling those gators....just as long as Beekeeper is in there with you. You strike me as the analitical type....you need a white lab coat, pair of dark framed glasses and a clipboard. Then stand back and study Beekeep's Gator wrestling moves. After exhaustive research we'll all sit around in the study and have a Cognac.
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  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    Really Rem I was only funnin'. I don't really think you say weird stuff, but since someone else does I just gave a "yeah but it ain't that bad scenario". When do I get in on the gator wresrling? Ya'll ever hunt hogs with no gun? Got to have 2 dogs and "beer Muscles", talk about fun! I went twice and had to have stitches both times.
    If you run, you'll just die tired!
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hogs with no guns?....sounds like fun. We have something like that at our county fairs only they have greased pig wrestling, is that similar? I'm always up for some new adventures, not sure about Gator wrestling though....
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Rem.,these hogs down here are probably the biggest,and the baddest.Someone recently killed a 362 pounder not too far from where I live.I haven`t killed one before ,but I am about to start.Recently found out that I have relatives who own hundreds of acres of orange groves and woods in central Fla.,about 90 minutes north of here .Keep in mind,it`s year round on private land,no license,and none of them there tags I keep hearin` yaw talk about.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Are these "Wild Hogs" the kind with tusks and real ugly? I've been looking for one like that to hang on the wall....the uglier the better. Don't want any domestic looking oinker, got plenty of them right here in Iowa, (and real cheap when hog prices are low). Will270win, you better come with us to show how this is done. If we video tape the hog hunt, the gator wrestling, and social time sitting around the study afterwards....we should be able to get TNN to put it in with their regular hunting show programming....Now with rerun rights and residuals, everyone should all come away with enough for a nice gun or two....then there are product endorsements, autographs at gunshows, talk show appearances....possibilities are endless.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    yeah Rem.,they are wild boar....with tusks.Sometimes the ol` boys get the dogs after em,pen them,castrate and turn them loose to grow up to around 500lbs .Then they are called 'Bar'!!I have heard of guys not far from here gettin` pretty primitive ,finding their trails,waiting in the bushes or tall grass ,and spearin` em with spears made of a sharpened stone on the end of a good strait tree branch.
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 14,525 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'll be you guys agent. I would love to che...uh.. help you guys make money. I'll even supply the jacket. Rosie
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Since air travel is a little strained right now, plans will be to drive down.....on the way I'll swing thru Indiana and pick up Rosie, smokin' jacket and a video camera....but don't plan on me wear'n any loin cloth and chuck'n spears....... I mean to stare one down eyeball to eyeball and use a handgun. What colors are these pigs? Black or different shades. Have seen some redish brown and white ones.
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  • RosieRosie Member Posts: 14,525 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Rem, They tell me iffen you drink a little shine down there some of them will turn pink! Rosie
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  • shaneshane Member Posts: 882 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hey Rembrandt, The white lab coat sounds more like me but I think a pair of "Cheap sun glasses" would do just fine. Now if'n you boys go hog hunting bare handed I would try that. As long as I can see what I'm fighting I'm o.k. I'm still only gonna be the camera man on the next gator hunt!
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Hey Rosie,what we have in mind for ya is kinda like Agent/Sponsor/Investor.It`s a sweet gig ,man!!
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    PINK PIGS!!!, don't want one of those hanging in the trophy room....The only pink pig I've seen was a ceramic cookie jar Mrs Rembrandt has....
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  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    Here's the deal......Hog huntin' is legal year round with any weapon as stated before. You can't shoot after dark (legally) so what ya do is get two good "hawg" muts to bay the pig. Then since you ate your Waffle House breakfast (at night) then had a 12er or more, ya run in there and knock over that pig that the dawgs hold at bay. One person grabs the neck to prevent holes in the other guy (tusks and teeth) and the other guy ties both sets of feet up. Put a pole through like the Seminoles used to do and carry the live hawg back to the house. Slaughter when ready for bacon and ham. Now if that ain't fair chase I don't know what to tell ya! That hawg does have the option of whoopin' both the humans and the dawgs so that's fair in my book!
    If you run, you'll just die tired!
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    This is starting to bring back memories from on the farm....we use to raise about 5000 feeder pigs when I was a kid, when it came time to cut (castrate) and vacinate we would grab the pigs by the hind leg and lay them on their side....putting your knee on its neck and holding front and back legs. then the surgery and shots began. We always tried to do this before the pigs got bigger than 50 pounds. Well, our neighbor who always put everything off till the last minute called and wanted some help doing his pigs. These things were nearly ready for market...about 200lbs+, it was all we could do to hang on to them. Can't imagine trying this with a wild one that has tusks....I'll watch you fellas do the first one.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Makes shootin from a swamp buggy look pretty good about now!!!Makes gator wrastlin seem like cetchin` lizards in the back yard!!I`ll cetch up with you boys in a little bit,gunna get me a few more of them waffles!!
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  • redcedarsredcedars Member Posts: 919 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If you boys are passing through Hoosierland on the way, I wanna go too! I volunteer to be the back-up, you know, the one with the big gun in case the hog gets the upper hand (tusk?).I have long believed the smartest move I ever made in my life was to decline the opportunity to tackle a bull moose with a wooden spear (at about age 9). Course, if I get enough Old Grand Dad in the bloodstream, I might get brave enough to try this bare-handed boar hunting. Probably would take a good fifth though.In any cse, it sounds like a helluva good video. I think we would have a better chance of getting it aired on MTV's "*" than on TNN though.redcedars
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  • shaneshane Member Posts: 882 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    We could make one of those funny hunting movies. You know like "Dorf goes hunting" We could sell em on GB. We'll need a catchy title and Rembrandt could be the director.[This message has been edited by shane (edited 09-28-2001).]
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