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Driving in NJ

njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
edited September 2002 in General Discussion
Subject: Driving in NJ

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.

13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75 miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

19. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Charlie














"It's the stuff dreams are made of Angel"NRA Certified Firearms InstructorMember: GOA, RKBA, NJSPBA, NJ area rep for the 2ndAMPD. njretcop@copmail.com

Edited by - njretcop on 09/30/2002 06:24:19

Comments

  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    ........and when they move to Florida they do the same thing only slower, along with that voting trick.

    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
    ~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
    Will270win@nraonline.com
  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Always knew NJ & the People's Republik of Kennedy were sister states; after the NJ drivers have the lobotomy, they automatically get a Mass. license.
  • chris_cechris_ce Member Posts: 1,608 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    are you sure you dont mean indianapolis
    at first i thought you did but we only get up to 45mph during rush hour

    chris
  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792
    edited November -1
    And those that flunk the NJ drivers test move to metro Maryland!!!

    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Member Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    20. When it snows, dont slow down, those 7 Suv's on their roofs in the last 10 miles just wern't going fast enough

    21. In the New Jersy mornings, sometimes the sun will come up in the east shining into your eyes. Please just slow to a crawl, dont blow 5 bucks on a pair of sunglasses because no one else will and you will be forced to slow down anyway.

    22. Remember, our toll bridges are one way. You can get in for free, but you pay to leave.

    23. When a guy with a orange flag stops you on the road, just wait till his head is turned and go anyway. When you hit whatever he was trying to protect you from, sue.

    24. Try to always park directly under utility work, you aren't in the way and they really will try to avoid dropping stuff on your car.

    God Im glad I dont work there anymore

    Those people who see nothing but grey areas, no black and white, are lost in the fog.
  • charlie15charlie15 Member Posts: 937 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    About #18, try coming in on southbound lane on I-85 into atlanta about 6am every weekday morning. Them gals can give those NJ gals a run for their money!!


    IF A GOVERMENT'S OPPRESSIVE, THEN REPRESS IT!!
  • ATFATF Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    As a retired truck driver I can say ,Truer words were never spoken.





    ATF
  • lurkerlurker Member Posts: 414 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    At first, I thought you were writing about Houston!

    Must be some New Jersey folks living in Houston too!
  • competentonecompetentone Member Posts: 4,696 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    (Easier to read this way. Charlie, copy it into an edit of your post.)

    Subject: Driving in NJ

    1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

    2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

    3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

    4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

    5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

    6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

    7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

    8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

    9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

    10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

    11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

    12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.

    13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

    14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

    15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

    16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

    17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

    18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75 miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

    19. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.
  • njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
    edited November -1
    Done.......thanks Comp.

    Charlie the computer wiz

    "It's the stuff dreams are made of Angel"NRA Certified Firearms InstructorMember: GOA, RKBA, NJSPBA, NJ area rep for the 2ndAMPD. njretcop@copmail.com
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