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HMO stands for
ATF
Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its
roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his
foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the
plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who
are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but
are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor
still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a
half-day's drive away, and a diploma from a Third World country.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the
name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach
ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a
heart transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.
Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by
then.
[8D][:o)][:D][8D][;)][}:)][:p]
ATF
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its
roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who
discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his
foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the
doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your
insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the
plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who
are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but
are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor
still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a
half-day's drive away, and a diploma from a Third World country.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the
name brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach
ache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a
heart transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.
Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by
then.
[8D][:o)][:D][8D][;)][}:)][:p]
ATF
Comments
My heros have always killed cowboys.
[:D]
ATF