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6th Grade Social Studies

nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,017 ******
edited December 2001 in General Discussion
IF THIS DOESN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY AND PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, YOU'RE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE. This gets the make-my-day award!!!!!! Insight into the minds of 6th graders: The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling. 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and 700 porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. 7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. 9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. 11. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper. 12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 14. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 15. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. 16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. 17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. 18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
Certified SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of the General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the premier gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net Jesus is Lord!

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    badboybobbadboybob Member Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
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    will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    Died of wedlock?!? Dang, and I'm pretty sick right now. Wife won't take care of me. Wonder if this could be happening to me? Must......tell.....guns.......goodbye......
    Eat healthy, exercise, avoid smoking........Die anyway. will270win@aol.com ~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
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    RUGERNUT3RUGERNUT3 Member Posts: 247 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    CONSIDER MY DAY BRIGHTENED! VERY GOOD! WE ALL CAN USE A LITTLE MORE LAUGHTER. REMINDS ME ONCE WHEN MY 4YR. OLD GRANDSON CAME INTO MY ROOM WANTING SOME " CHROME ". AFTER HAVING HIM REPEAT THE QUESTION SEVERAL TIMES I STILL COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHAT " CHROME " WAS. HE FINALLY GESTURED WITH HIS HANDS, AT THE SAME TIME SAYING " YOU KNOW PA-PA, THE STUFF THAT SMELLS GOOD ". COLOGNE,..MYSTERY SOLLVED. THANKS NUNN.......
    "ANY" EXCUSE IS A GOOD REASON TO BUY "JUST 1 MORE".& VICIE-VERSIE!
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    IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Gawd, these are hilarious, David. Thanks. On reflection, though, many of these errors make me cringe in thinking of the state of American education . . . just hope they are not typical of 6th grade, but must wonder given what I have seen for homework assignments over the years.I hate to be the one to throw the wet blanket.
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    mlincolnmlincoln Member Posts: 5,039 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    In class the other day we were reading aloud a sentence that went something like this "The ancient civilization flourished because its citizens. . ." I noted that "flourished" is an interesting word and asked the kids if anybody knew what it meant or if they could use clues from the sentence to figure out its meaning. One fellow who is just off the boat and still learning English, raised his hand and said, "Isn't it that stuff they put in toothpaste?"Some weeks before, we were talking about the political process here in the US and how there are elections at all levels: local, state, and federal. On an essay test about it a young lady wrote, "There are many erections held every year in the United States." After thinking about it, I had to give her points for a correct, if off-topic, answer.BTW, Iconclast, I'm glad to hear that you never said anything dumb or misspelled anything over the years. Must be a * being so perfect and having to put up with the rest of us idiots. How do you cope?
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    turboturbo Member Posts: 820 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This is funny, butI wonder, how our 12th graders are doing?
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    mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    mlincoln.....Uncalled for remark. Only those of us who are perfect may critisize!!!Mudge the perfect
    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
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