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The Three Old Ladies

Bubba JoelBubba Joel Member Posts: 5,161
edited November 2001 in General Discussion
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she once could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, then demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
I wouldn't mind being the last man on earth-just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth....
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    Patrick OdlePatrick Odle Member Posts: 951 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    One little ole lady came out of the hat shopon a very windy day in a wide brimmed brand new hat. She walked down the street to the conner,and was waiting for the light to change,when all of a suddent a big gust of wind hit. Up went both hands to prevent loseing her new hat,her dress flew up at the same time leaving her scantily clad on the busy conner in broad daylight. A man commented ,lady your dress is up and you are standing here in public almost naked. the lady returned. Mister ,what you are looking at is 89 years old and wore out, this hat is brand new.
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    alledanalledan Member Posts: 19,541
    edited November -1
    80 year old Bessie bursts into the rec. room of the men's retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough
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    mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    And then there were the two old ladies on a bus. The bus stopped and picked up a man who had an enormous beer belly. As he sat down, one of the ladies remarked to the other' "you know, if that belly was on a woman, we'd say she was in a family way". The guy heard her and quikly shot back, "lady, it was, and she is."Mudge the humorist
    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
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