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I am Canadian

agloreaglore Member Posts: 6,012
edited August 2002 in General Discussion
E-mailed from friends who own a gunshop in Edmonton, Alberta.

Subject: I AM CANADIAN

Hi ....My name is Billy, .................And I am "Canadian"....

I am a minority in Vancouver, Banff, and every casino in this country. Was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for some Native's
great - great grandfather who screwed himself out of his land in the
1800's. I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but not allowed to drive without a seat belt. All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes. I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new Territory. Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.
Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate,
Quebec still provides my nation's Prime Ministers.
95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I'm
sure none of them have ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for
that matter. I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.
I believe that same tax on gasoline is also fair.
Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my
grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal
if I don't register it. I DO know Jeff from Toronto & Aldergrove...
I often badmouth the United States, and then vacation there three
times a year. I'm led to believe that some lazy * unionized broom pusher who makes $30 an hour is underpaid and therefore must go on strike, but paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is fair.
I believe that paying $30 million for 3 stripes (The Voice of
Fire) by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though
99% of this country didn't want it, or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of
what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better
health care than the Americans"
I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too
dry, because I control the rain.
My National Anthem has versions in both official languages, and I
don't know either of them.
Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest
military buffer for the United States, and the number one
destination for fleeing boat people.
I am not an angry white male. I am an angry broke taxpayer.
My name is Billy, and I am Canadian.








AlleninAlaska

http://www.outdoor-o-rama.com

He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
-- Thomas Paine

Comments

  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Billy: On top of that, most of your women look like k.d. lang.

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. But not only for food; frequently, he must have a beverage.
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Dances with Sheep...

    No we dont.


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    On the other hand, they all can skate very well and I have several Celine Dion tapes, and well...Anne Murray, let's not forget about her, and...

    Sorry Li'l Stinker. Just poking fun.

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. But not only for food; frequently, he must have a beverage.
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Actually Dances, I hold dual.. born in Canada, married to American... moved here bout 6 years ago now... as for skating?.. Nope... not in years.. skiing?.. yeppers and miss it...
    Celine Dion?... She's french... and I for one,, dont consider Quebec ...... okay.. wont go there.. *LOL

    Anne Murray?.. dont like her either.. nor Gordon Lightfoot... and as for two official languages?.. the states is headed that way as well with Spanish... and if you dont believe me on that.. check out the tv programs.. dubbed in spanish... labels on cans.. spanish.. signs in spanish.. etc...it is headed that way here...
    OH FUDGE... THIS IS BLACKROSES... CLASSIC WAS USING MY COMP AND I DIDNT CHECK THE LOGIN NAME... GRRRRRRRRRRR....
    "A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows"




    Edited by - Classic095 on 08/27/2002 15:30:08
  • BlueTicBlueTic Member Posts: 4,072
    edited November -1
    My wife is half/half - Her Sisters and Mum live just across the border (as do 90% of their people). One of her cousins is a dealer up there and we talk all the time about the crazy Canadian rules and reg's. The one thing that gets me - you can still have high cap mags and various configurations of "Assault weapons" as long as they are registered.

    IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY RIGHTS - GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY (this includes politicians)
  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BlackRoses: Did I say k.d. lang? I meant Shania Twain.

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. But not only for food; frequently, he must have a beverage.
  • concealedG36concealedG36 Member Posts: 3,566 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    All I know is that in 5 minutes I can be across the Ambassador bridge and be playing slots in the Windsor Casino! That place offers WAYYYY better odds than Detroit casinos and the beer is a lot better too!

    Their streets are clean and people are friendly as well.

    I don't like their gun laws or taxes, but I don't have to deal with them!

    Thanks Canada!
    G36



    Gun Control Disarms Victims, NOT Criminals
  • allen griggsallen griggs Member Posts: 35,689 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Canada has a fabulous provincial park named the Quetico where I go for wilderness canoe vacations. Nothing like it in the lower 48.

    Thanks, Canada!

    "Not as deep as a well, or as wide as a church door, but it is enough."
  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Canada has so much to recommend it (Atlantic Canada is some of the prettiest country on the earth!) - perhaps we could work a trade - their politicians could have the urban populations of KA, MA, IL & NY (plus Philly & St. Louis) and, say, the Left Coast. The French Separatists switch with the good folks on the Left Coast (both populations are pretty small) and we go on our separate ways. Hell, I'd throw in the Klintoons, Jesse Jackson and Marion Barry at no extra charge. KA could then be tri-lingual (at least), tax everything to death and in less than a hundred years of inbreeding, there would be an enormous population of fleecelss sheep. In another hundred, it would be deserted from lack of food (over-grazing and environmental protection). Might take a while to bring back the vinyards, but that would be a small price to pay. Course, we'd have to plow under the poppy and pot fields.

    Hang in there, Billy, we feel your pain!
  • Matt45Matt45 Member Posts: 3,185
    edited November -1
    I was asked once by a Canadian girlfriend, "What do you think of Canada??" After she explained that she was looking for an answer in the "geo-political" sense, I exclaimed- "Oh, yeah" Our 52nd State after Puerto Rico! You mean the Cold War/Soviet invasion buffer up north?"


    NONE of these answers pleased her very much.

    Reserving my Right to Arm Bears!!!!
  • sundownersundowner Member Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No lie, ConcealedG36 . . . the difference between Detroit and Windsor is 5 minutes and a thousand miles. I don't care for their laws either, but it is a pretty dramatic change from that cesspool Detroit.

    About a decade ago, I was crossing over the border with a (now) ex-girlfriend that lived near Detroit. When the lady at the customs gate asked if we had any weapons, I said "No", because we didn't. And then my girlfriend piped up and said "Oh, but I have this swiss army knife on my keychain!" The border gaurd insisted on examining it for about 10 minutes. After passing it around for her coworkers judgement, she handed it back and said, "Well, OK -- Just don't use that thing here!" Like we were gonna go on a country-wide murder spree with a 1.5" blade and a pair of tweezers and scissors.
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    Hey Sundowner.. the customs guard was just doing her job.. same as the ones that I went thru when I was travelling to the states... the blade of the knife can only be a certain length... least they didnt take the g/f's purse from her and go thru the contents without her persmission or her present.. which, US customs agents did to me... and it is illegal by the way...

    Being Canadian born, I can in all honesty say, Canada is a beautiful place, has many advantages, and some disadvantages....
    Living in the States now and an American, I can say in all honesty, the US is a beautiful place, having many advantages and some disadvantages..

    In other words, both places are great places to live.. both allowing the freedom that is so often taken for granted, each having many advantages, and disadvantages...


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    The greatest rocker of
    all time is from canada!

    Long live the father of grunge!

    .218
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