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Hard times....i guess just part of growing up
quickslvr982
Member Posts: 158 ✭✭✭
I was with my girlfriend today and i could tell something was up. She says to me i have to tell you something. I knew it was over right there. And she says to me that she cant be "attached" to anyone right now. For you older guys can you make heads or tails of this. There was nuthin wrong in our relationship is was great and i couldnt have been happier i mean just this firday we were having a great time. And it just hurts to know that all the good times we shared are over and that i lost one of my best firends. Any advice or words of wisdom well help my dads out of town and i didnt know who else to turn to and ive always respected the majority of the people here. thanks
Comments
1. Never beg a woman to try and make it work.
2. Never make it look like she hurt you and you can't go on without her that's B.S.
3. NEVER EVER DATE HER FRIEND TO GET BACK AT HER.
4. Take your time to find someone else do not no matter what look for someone just like her it don't work.
I have done all four and hurt myself more then she hurt me
And don't call her let her call you.
Hey i know it sucks but you know what the world keeps turning..
NRA MEMBER
1. You both are too young and you're too serious. If so, she did you a big favor.
2. You were in the checkout line, but she was still shopping. Again, she did you a big favor.
3. Possibly her intuition told her that things just weren't right. It sometimes happens and a breakup is probably best.
My intuition... See #2. I'll bet she's in the checkout line with someone else by now. In any case you can't force someone to love you. They have to do that all on their own. Give things some time and they'll get better.
Nord
The hurt will pass. It just takes time. Make no big changes in your life. Hang out with your buds. Go hunting.
Above all else, never let her see that you are hurt. Never call her, never drive by her house. Nunca.
I figure she saw the relationship getting to serious when she wasn't ready, or else she found another interest. Either way, bear it with a big smile, and spend your time doing things you enjoy.
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
DO NOT waste time trying to "understand". There is nothing to understand except that she has moved on, and apparently had no qualms about dropping a bomb on you and leaving you behind in the smoking wreckage. She did not get to this point overnight, which means she has been less than honest and candid with you, at least recently. In short, she has been decieving you about how she feels, and has done so to serve her own purposes, whatever they are. I know it doesn't ease the pain at all to know, but you ARE better off without her. Get as far away from her and her circle of friends as you can, because they are probably a bunch of sh**heads too.
The sooner the hurt turns to anger, the better off you will be. You should be angry. But don't let your anger get the best of you; try to use it for motivation. If you can't avoid contact with her or her friends, stay way cool. Time heals all wounds, but it also wounds all heels. You will get over this, but she will probably always be an a******. Her time is coming, sure as death and taxes.
Popular wisdom has it that women are emotional and men are logical, but in my experience women are more likely to be mercenary, calculating and cold in affairs of the heart. All too often they are keeping up appearances, using a guy to work on some other guy's head, or just passing time while they are looking for a better deal on the love market. In the process they are perfectly willing to deceive someone who may truly care for them while looking for a "catch" who makes more money, has more status, etc. We men are more truly romantic at heart; most of us actually want a woman to love and who loves us; we are more easily hurt, we just try to conceal it.
Been there myself, more than once. Not always because I wasted affection on a witch; sometimes it just doesn't work out. But this one sounds like poison; if she really cared for you she would not have treated you this way.
Years ago, after a particularly tough hit, I really tanked it. I was ignoring work and drinking too much. Even got into a fight in a tavern with a guy I thought of as a friend when I finally figured out she had cheated on me with him, and that he and his buddies thought it was a big joke. Kicked his * but it didn't make me feel one bit better. In fact, it just caused more problems, and I was lucky not to be prosecuted.
After that my best friend sat me down and told me to shape up and get a life. He reminded me of some of the good things I had done. He asked me if I was going to waste the rest of my life crying over my little setback, especially since it was obvious to everyone but me that I was better off without her. Pointed out a few of our friends who had REAL problems, like illness and death in the family. Finally I decided I was going to do what I wanted to do with my life, and if I never found a decent honest woman to share it with, so be it. I finally knew in my heart that no woman was better than the wrong woman. From that point forward, things got a whole lot better.
Keep busy with your favorite pastimes; spend some time with your closest friends. Don't look back.
redcedars
SSgt Ryan E. Roberts, USMC
Edited by - robsguns on 09/17/2002 23:13:26
Lil' Stinker's Opinion
if your going to be a savage, be a headhunter
None of us here can say with any degree of certainty just why this particular girl has done this -her heart is like deep/murky waters. All we have to go on is your brief paragraph. But I would avoid being too hard on her; she may well be struggling with something similar to what I've mentioned above.
-Robert , first year college student and engaged
When your 21, have your own car, can drink, have a promising future, work out and look decent, keep up with your higean, you have alot going for ya. Or so woman think. They will judge you by your appearance, and they are all out for a better mate. If one better comes along, they leave ya for him. Its natural. And don't bother trying to learn about love lifes by watching TV. Its a total crock. Girls are a whole lot simpler than TV shows them to be. At least the ones you meet at clubs.
But the main piece of advice I can give you is, WRAP YOUR RANGER, cause there is more stuff going around. Boy, I've had my share of scares, but nothing yet. And if ya gonna get drunk, I'd advise ya put it on before hand, so at least when your so drunk you wont remember, ya'll already be prepared.
If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.
The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
NRA MEMBER
Maybe
If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.
The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
Maybe we
If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.
The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
Maybe we should just
If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.
The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
Edited by - leeblackman on 09/18/2002 06:25:06
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE---SHE LEFT YOU FREE JUST AS HUNTING SEASON IS GETTING UNDER WAY!!!!!!!!!!
Time heals all wounds, brother, like my dear ole dad says- never do anything you can't take back (at least until you know for sure)-Ralph
Nothing very, very good or very, very bad lasts for very, very long.
Just as she was your choice, you were not hers. It does not diminish you as a person, remember that. When you say there was nothing wrong with your relationship it leads me to believe you were not paying enough attention to it and that may have been part of what she sees as a problem. Some people view a relationship like a family portrait, they only see the part that features them. You have to see the whole thing to appreciate the whole thing and it has to be reciprocal.
What she does now with her life is no longer your concern. Mind you own business and I mean that in the literal sense. Take care of you. And don't worry if she should know you got hurt, nothing unmanly about having feelings.
Forty years ago I married the second woman I ever loved and it turns out I was the second she had loved. That should be your focus, love. Whether it is the first, second or fifth, make sure the love is there before you make a commitment.
Life is like an `ace', its worth depends on how you play it.
Good fortune to you.
Clouder..
remember too, that you are a better man for every relationship you have been in. You have learned many things about yourself and women, it just takes a while to realize it sometimes. Life is one big learning curve and you just hit some trigonometry, so work hard, it gets better.
A great rifle with a junk scope,....is junk.
one hers, and an early one which was a draw. Only two kids, who are grown and seem fine. The main thing I'd say is keep going to work and don't let a mess up on the job make it worse. I still like women, but I'll have to find an awful good one to get married a 4th time.
Good luck everyone out there - and treat your girl like you'd like to be treated...
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
The itsy, bitsy spider crawled up the water...
BLAM BLAM BLAM!
from Saxon Pig`s office,does she?
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