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WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF MIAMI !
22WRF
Member Posts: 3,385
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF MIAMI !
In order to make your visit here more enjoyable. please take a few moments to
familiarize yourself with the following facts about our facility and community.
1. If your drugs, weapons, and/or explosive devices do not fit in the overhead
compartment, you may retrieve them at the Baggage Claim located on the lower level.
Our security personnel will be happy to assist you.
2. Please do not eat bananas during your stay here in Miami. As the universally
recognized symbol of our republic, they are now protected by law.
3. While in Miami we encourage you to mingle with our local citizens. Please feel free
to express your opinions. However, if we disagree with your opinions, we reserve the
right to block the entrance to the Airport, causing possible delays in your departure.
4. Should you come into contact with our Mayor, Crazy-Joe Carollo, please dial 911
immediately. Do not attempt to subdue him on your own.
5. While in Miami be sure to register to vote in our local elections. We will provide
you with your very own residential address somewhere within the city limits. Why
not register your deceased relatives as well so they can enjoy the same voting
privileges as our own dearly departed.
6. Many of our former civic leaders are available to sign autographed photos with
you. These include various City and County Commissioners, as well as City
Managers. Please call the Miami-Dade County Jail for visiting hours.
7. If asked what you think of Janet Reno, just say "Janet ...who?", and continue
walking with a blank expression on your face.
8. Should you encounter any serious problems during your Miami visit, please
contact the American Interest Section, located just about anywhere south of Kendall
Drive.
Thank you for choosing Miami as your vacation destination. We hope you have a
pleasant experience, and a safe return to the United States.
I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man
Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of All Those that Threaten it
In order to make your visit here more enjoyable. please take a few moments to
familiarize yourself with the following facts about our facility and community.
1. If your drugs, weapons, and/or explosive devices do not fit in the overhead
compartment, you may retrieve them at the Baggage Claim located on the lower level.
Our security personnel will be happy to assist you.
2. Please do not eat bananas during your stay here in Miami. As the universally
recognized symbol of our republic, they are now protected by law.
3. While in Miami we encourage you to mingle with our local citizens. Please feel free
to express your opinions. However, if we disagree with your opinions, we reserve the
right to block the entrance to the Airport, causing possible delays in your departure.
4. Should you come into contact with our Mayor, Crazy-Joe Carollo, please dial 911
immediately. Do not attempt to subdue him on your own.
5. While in Miami be sure to register to vote in our local elections. We will provide
you with your very own residential address somewhere within the city limits. Why
not register your deceased relatives as well so they can enjoy the same voting
privileges as our own dearly departed.
6. Many of our former civic leaders are available to sign autographed photos with
you. These include various City and County Commissioners, as well as City
Managers. Please call the Miami-Dade County Jail for visiting hours.
7. If asked what you think of Janet Reno, just say "Janet ...who?", and continue
walking with a blank expression on your face.
8. Should you encounter any serious problems during your Miami visit, please
contact the American Interest Section, located just about anywhere south of Kendall
Drive.
Thank you for choosing Miami as your vacation destination. We hope you have a
pleasant experience, and a safe return to the United States.
I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man
Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of All Those that Threaten it
Comments
- Life NRA Member
"If cowardly & dishonorable men shoot unarmed men with army guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary...and not by general deprivation of constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
I am...and I can vouche for just about all of those comments made. I wonder if life is really different on the outside.
Alex
Nope not even close to Little Havana, in NW Fla where we can admire the Miami folks from a distance
I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man
Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of All Those that Threaten it
I just need to get my crap together and put away some money and then i'll be out of here just the same. Nothing worth staying for....the keys is about the only thing...and we're loosing those quick too.
HARRRR HARRRRRR HARRRRR!
JD
400 million cows can't be wrong ( EAT GRASS !!! )
in them little shops over there,most people
never had a real cuban sandwich.
Wash it down with some cold cane juice!
Then some real coffie.
.218
Pastelitos are awesome,
I`ll hafta go * me a couple
of`em in the mornin`.
Especially good when
there real fresh!
I`ll have mine with a
Jaritos tamarindo soda
.218