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Uppidy wowen

218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
edited September 2001 in General Discussion
I married a gal from Costa Rica,about 14 years ago,thinkin` I`d avoid the modern american type of marriage ,where you never really know exactly who wears the pants. It`s been fairly smooth up until the last couple of years,but my wife has been noticing the way her american friends kinda lay down the law from time to time. I find myself having to say things like"what do you think this is,you tell me to do somethin` ,and I`m supposed to do it?".....and "if you want it done,you better do it yourself"or "that might be the way them yankee friends of yours does it ,but we don`t do it that way down here,I cant have no warmon tellin` me what ta do".......Anybody got any other sayin`s I might try??
Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Marriage is a compromise BeeKeep,....I get a new gun, she gets a new kitchen,..... I get a hunting trip, she gets me out of the house.....these things sorta balance themselves out eventually. Always remember that "hell hath no fury like the scorn of an angry woman"
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  • badboybobbadboybob Member Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    218 one of the best answers for her is "yes dear". Remember, you could get cut off!!!! Seriously, go to the book store and buy "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". And read it twice. It might help you get along better with your wife. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
    So many guns to buy. So little money.
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  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Lowrider--I'll be interested to see how long it takes for that one to get edited.It's a riot to see all of the service members rush of to Korea or Germany and marry the first woman they date because she is so "subservient". She does the cooking and the cleaning and then she gets to America and realizes how much power she has. She then walks all over the hubby and hubby is mortified. I've seen it over and over and over and over.....I've been to Costa Rica while deployed to Honduras. I was only there for 12 days but I probably would have married one of them there beauties myself if I had stayed any longer. Costa Rican women are amazing! One night I was on a Costa Rican airstrip right on a beach on the Carribian side of the country. I had to guard some Blackhawk helicopters that we had in the country for the 12 days that I was there. Sunday is "airport day" in Costa Rica. The entire country flocks to the airports to watch planes land and take off. While walking the line of helicopters I saw a gentleman in fatigues step out of a vehicle wearing a beret and an AK-47. A prior experience from Honduras had me a little nervous but I figured he'd get what he came for because all I had was my Beretta. After exiting his vehicle, so did his 14-year-old daughter. Now I'm no pedophile but I thought she was at least 19 until I asked him about his family in Spanish. He then proceeded, in Spanish, to inquire about whether I had any interest in his daughter. I came to find out that he was the chief of Costa Rican border police so I asked him if he had any patches that I could purchase from him such as the ones that he was wearing on his uniform. Costa Rican Border Police patches would have made a great souvenier. The next morning there was a knock on the door of the airport (small shack) and a costa rican policeman handed me and my supervisor an envelope full of patches. We thanked him and he left. Once the night shift was over my supervisor and I drove back to our beach-side hotel room for some R&R. As we were driving back we realized that this policeman was walking down the road. It came to our realization that the chief of the border police at the local precinct had sent him walking 12 miles in order to deliver us our patches and he was on his way back to town on foot! Needless to say, we gave him a lift to where he was going. In my experience, Costa Ricans are some good people and their women are absolutely amazing!
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  • Evil ATFEvil ATF Member Posts: 1,195 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    LMAO!
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Badboybob,you been checkin` out that VEGAN MESSAGE BAORD again???
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • badboybobbadboybob Member Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I don't know anything about vegans Beekeeper. I do know how to treat my wife. In two weeks we'll celebrate our 45th anniversary. Seems to me we know how to get along with each other. With us it's a partnership.
    So many guns to buy. So little money.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beekeep, been thinking about how to help you out here....you know how women get makeovers? new hair do, make up and so forth?,....well we need to get you a new makeover. You will be the "New and Improved BeeKeeper". We need to get you as appealing as you were in your on your first date. Maybe rent a "James Bond" type tux, get her some flowers, and take her out to dinner. Study the dictionary and find a half dozen 4-5 syllable words to use in the evenings conversation....that will impress her with your command of the english language. Read the Wall Street Journal and ask her advice concerning investment directions for the future. Next compliment her on her appearance and how fortunate a guy you are to be with with her......if all this backfires, your in deep trouble.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    badboy,I was only messin` with ya,I`m sure you have a good thang goin`.I never wanted to come off like a dictator,in fact I am very easy goin`,I like things to go smooth,no pressure from either side.That`s what this thread is about,not being dictated.
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    You know Rembrandt,I think you and badboybob both make good sense,and I think that I am learning a few things here,but a couple of your suggestions seem a little extreme.
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  • kimberkidkimberkid Member Posts: 8,858 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I guess I just got lucky when I met my wife, outside of Art, we both think pretty much alike. Or at least I hope so, she went to visit her parents for a week and while she was gone we agreed I would have the carpets professionally cleaned ... well I had the house completely re-carpeted (it was about 10-12 years old anyway). When she called earlier today she asked how it looks, I told her "It looks great! looks like new" ... she'll like it ... I hope
    GUN CONTROL: If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention!kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
    If you really desire something, you'll find a way ?
    ? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Kimberkid, for a deed like that, I think I see a new gun in your future, perhaps something wrapped under the Christmas tree....
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  • Ms. BeastMs. Beast Member Posts: 496 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    How about...."Yes dear, anything you say!"Just kidding, it is suppose to be equal. It doesn't matter who wears the pants!And the idea for the new carpeting is great! I am sure she will love it....I would!
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  • Diesel DummyDiesel Dummy Member Posts: 193 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A few years back I found "the answer" at a truck stop. A small, concealable "device" with three buttons. This device contained all necessary responses to the woeman for a successfull and happy marraige:1. "Yes Dear"2. "But of course I love you"3. "Just charge it honey"I still can't figure out why this wonderful, marraige saving device quit working about a week after I brought it home.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Hello Ms.Beast,good to hear from you again,hope you understand that little thing about the pants was just for fun,just like on that other thread,where ya had yer 2 by 4 ready.It`s just that I see so many guys take home the paycheck,and beg like a dog to to get a few of their own dollars back for somethin` they want or need.I just don`t understand how that could be misconstrued as equal.You understand me ,don`t you Ms.Beast??
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  • tccoxtccox Member Posts: 7,379 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Another story about pants:Newlyweds get home and the guy takes off his pants and gives them to bride and tells her to put them on. "I can't wear those things she says." "Don't ever forget who wears the pants around here" he says.She then takes off her pants and tells him to put them on. "I can't get into those things" he says. And she says, "You aren't going to until there is an attitude change around here." Works everytime!!
    Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who dont.
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  • will270winwill270win Member Posts: 4,845
    edited November -1
    My wife has a 9MM and she shoots a good group at 100yds with her Remington 597.
    You can run, but you'll just die tired!Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, RELOAD!
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    I must look like a complete and utter moron,for mis-spelling women.....W-O-W-E-N..... on the topic title!! Please tell me how to correct this,or am I condemned to be the laughing stock of this baord,for you fine gentlemen to call your wowen,I mean women folk,to look and laugh,and say "look who is uppidy now?".....That is what I get,I swear I have learned the hard way!!I have the finest wife,and I should have just shut up!!Rem,how can I master any five syllable words if I cant even spell the 1s and 2s correctly.I`d better head on down to the book store ,as badboybob suggested,and get that copy of Men are from Mars and Wowen,I mean women are from venus.Man I must be ate up with the *!!!
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • ysacresysacres Member Posts: 294 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thats funny 218click on the pencel-papper icon at the top of your post to edit your mistake
    Ruger-Remington-RULE THE ROOST
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    ysacres,yeah but it dosen`t work for the title of the topic,ya know what I mean? I`d better just let this thing play out,funny how we got through 20 or so posts and nobody mentioned it,there it is ,ysacres,big as day! Thanks for tryin`,I know you meant well,it was kind of you.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beekeep, I wouldn't worry about the spelling, I've made plenty of errors on here myself. Can't figure out how to use spell check when I'm on this board. Large 5 syllable words are a diversionary technique....takes most people 5 minutes to wonder what the word meant....come to think of it, that's a trick most politicians use....you keep them posts coming, I enjoy them all.
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  • bartobarto Member Posts: 4,734 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    i believe anyone who can read men are from mars etc. twice is a masochist of the worse sort. in fact , i dont believe its humanly possible.
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  • Mom MomMom Mom Member Posts: 169 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beekeeper, you also misspelled "uppity", sound it out, it has a T not a D. Up A D is what happens when your "wowen" gets enhanced.
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  • jltrentjltrent Member Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Rembrandt you sure do have some good ideals. When I bring home a new gun I catch hell until I tell my wife to pick her out something new for the kitchen and then she ask what other guns are you looking at. Every now and then though I am able to sneak one buy her though, but I don't know, it seems like something appears new in the kitchen when this happens and I know not to say a word.
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  • TLynnTLynn Member Posts: 353 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    too funny beekeeper - I've had more fun watching this thread play out and would never dream to correct your english.Fact is I kind of liked it.Still trying to figure out why anybody would need to buy their wife something when they buy a gun. Can't you just buy her a gun too?
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  • jltrentjltrent Member Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    People don't worry about the spelling I can't spell either. If you are wanting to impress people with you writting skills go to MS-word and write a reply, spell check it, run grammar check, run the theasauraus on it and automatically change a lot of the words that mean the same to big words that sound impressive.(Then cut and paste) People will think you are a professor then. I have seen replies here that I feel where done this way.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    TLynn,You must be the coolest ,awesomest,most far-outest wowen there has ever been!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • TLynnTLynn Member Posts: 353 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    218Beekeep - flattery is nice but you still can't have my new AK-47.lololol
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beekeep, If Tlynn can shoot as well as she writes...well, I don't want to be on the receiveing end. We need more "Uppidy wowen" gun owners out there. Been thinking about my previous advice, if you dress up in a tux, bring her flowers, and take her out to dinner....she's probably going to think you're feeling guilty and have done something pretty bad...could send the wrong message. Bring home a "self improvement" book and let her see you reading it. Then she'll know you're sincere.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Woooooowww,TLynn,even more awesomer than I thought possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey Rem,self improvement book ya say,!?!? Ya think maybe a couple of home improvement books might do?? You know,just kinda leave em layin` around,open to kitchen and bath renovation idea pages.No,No,No,that would backfire sure`nuf,Man I must be dumber`n a lizards stern!!
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Can't use home inprovement books, that's too much of a guy thing....read somewhere that you need to show your "femine side", it's suppose to be appealing to wowens emotions. Guess if that doesn't work, just give her money and credit cards. It'll be painful, but should get you back in good graces with Mrs Beekeeper.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Rem,I`ve seen some fellers showin` their feminine side,down in Key West.I`m afraid it wern`t wowens that was likin` it,it was other fellers!!!!!!!YYEEEEEEEE-HHAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • TLynnTLynn Member Posts: 353 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You mean I bought and read all those home improvment books for nothing???
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    She`s into home improvement,she don`t care how many guns a feller buys,as long as she can have as many as she wants....... I think I`m about to get all misty,she has got to be the most awesomest wowen ever!!!!
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    My favorite is, "that's skirt work".
    Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
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  • LowriderLowrider Member Posts: 6,587
    edited November -1
    "...don't worry about the spelling I can't spell either. If you are wanting to impress people with you writting skills..."Sorry, but I don't see correct spelling, punctuation and grammar as something done to impress other people. It's either right or it's wrong. That's like saying that the answer to a math problem is correct, or close enough, if it's within ten percent, plus or minus.Take some pride in your written communications skills. Keep a dictionary next to the keyboard and use it if you're unsure of the correct spelling or usage of any word.
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beekeep, just wanted to thank you for a most entertaining thread, this ranks right up there with "Onions on Pickups" and Smoking Jackets.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Thanks Rem.,look for plenty more,lord willing.
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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  • Ms. BeastMs. Beast Member Posts: 496 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    218: First....We put our money together and after the bills are paid, Timberbeast is allowed to spend on whatever he would like. I don't like when he buys me flowers, waste of money, they die! I don't think either partner in a marriage has the right to take all the money and not let the other have some for fun stuff!I also know you were kidding about the pants thing, gotta give ya a hard time about something!I also thought you spell women wrong on purpose! Kinda went with the post.
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  • Diesel DummyDiesel Dummy Member Posts: 193 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    That's woe men, errr woemen, errr women.Yes dear.
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  • 218Beekeep218Beekeep Member Posts: 3,033
    edited November -1
    Ms.Beast,I must say the part about the flowers,and how they die,was one of the most sensible things I have ever heard a wowe,wewah,uh,.....woman say.As for the mistake,are you sayin` I mite hav miss spelld othor words * well?Come now,Ms.Beast!!
    Will the last reb to leave flarda,please bring the flag?
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