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Suggestion for a new draft
Bubba Joel
Member Posts: 5,161
This was sent to me, from a woman, via e-mail.
Sugestion for a new draft.Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - trainus for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan,and let us do what comes naturally.Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stufflike grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to makeeven armed men in turbans tremble.We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect themand their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven'tleft already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect offinding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck bylightning. We have nothing to lose.We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and neverlost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain ofAfghanistan with no food at all!We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardwarestores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be noproblem.Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Ohplease ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws andextended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribalwarfare.Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there isfor how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with orwithout the government's help!Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as wecrawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
I wouldn't mind being the last man on earth-just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth....
Sugestion for a new draft.Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - trainus for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna -drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan,and let us do what comes naturally.Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stufflike grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to makeeven armed men in turbans tremble.We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect themand their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven'tleft already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect offinding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck bylightning. We have nothing to lose.We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and neverlost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain ofAfghanistan with no food at all!We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardwarestores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be noproblem.Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Ohplease ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws andextended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribalwarfare.Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there isfor how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with orwithout the government's help!Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as wecrawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
I wouldn't mind being the last man on earth-just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth....
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