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The guys' side -- These are our rules!
kimberkid
Member Posts: 8,858 ✭✭✭
We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side.
OK, we now hear the guys' side -- These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl - If it's up, put it
down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, deer hunting strategy, or the best
fishing knot.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
good
at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil, please!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys, or those fairy men in your novels.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we
were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see is 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's really not worth the
hassle.
=================================
The only bad thing about choosing a Kimber ...
... there are so darn many models to choose from!
kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
OK, we now hear the guys' side -- These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl - If it's up, put it
down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, deer hunting strategy, or the best
fishing knot.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
good
at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil, please!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys, or those fairy men in your novels.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we
were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see is 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's really not worth the
hassle.
=================================
The only bad thing about choosing a Kimber ...
... there are so darn many models to choose from!
kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
If you really desire something, you'll find a way ?
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
Comments
The most important things, Are not things.
"Ed, quit picking your seat"
Whenever my wife and I visited this couple, I always was quick to say to him ;
"Ed, pick your sit",
when entering his living room or kitchen area.
And then would add,
" and, make sure you wash your hands"
His wife almost, always, would laugh and blush.
Most other guests never understood what happened.
"The great object is that every man.... everyone who is able may have a gun." Patrick Henry
1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must
immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing
the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written
consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him
to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether
she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what
she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take
the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male
must cater to her every whim.
17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in * harm.
18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule
#5
thought you would like these. "you know they are true."
If you cant abide by that rule, make sure you consult the newspaper, and find out what time sun down is, and make the dinner date for THREE hours AFTER that time.
Better yet, put the urge to socialize on the back burner for the entire hunting season. 4 months is not a long time.
"The powers delegated by the proposed constitution to the federal governmentare few and defined, and will be exercised principally on external objects, as war, peace negotiation, and foreign commerce"
-James Madison
When at all possible, try to arrange your years shopping during hunting season. this will eliminate all tensions created by iether party, reguarding the other. You shop, while we hunt. See you after dark, and we are both happy.
A great rifle with a junk scope,....is junk.
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
The reason all the male rules are numbered "1." is because the female kept inturupting while they were being written ... can you get a visual?
I'm pretty sure all the married guys that read the "Men's Rules" know they are worthless, but it makes us feel better just knowing they are out there Notice, I didn't even disagree with you?
*EDIT*
... NOW, what does Classic95 have to say about it?
=================================
The only bad thing about choosing a Kimber ...
... there are so darn many models to choose from!
kimberkid@gunbroker.zzn.com
Edited by - kimberkid on 06/13/2002 17:02:20
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
Pack slow, fall stable, pull high, hit dead center.
Thanks for the smile and the little chuckle.. Actually the rules of either one dont play a part in our marriage..He is treated like a king,, but then he treats me like a queen..
We make up our own set as we go along.. *LOL
Pack slow, fall stable, pull high, hit dead center.