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Stupid criminals

dakotashooter2dakotashooter2 Member Posts: 6,186
edited January 2002 in General Discussion
Was talking to a LEO friend this weekend and heard these.Bad guy enters a convenience store, plops down a $20 and asks for change. When the teller opens the till bad guy pulls a knife, grabs all the cash out of the till,a grand total of $16 and runs out the store leaving his $20 on the counter. A short time later the bad guy is picked up and charged with armed robbery dispite the fact he came out $4 in the hole.Three bad guys rob a small town bank and escape in a small station wagon. They are captured a short while later in a nearbuy town,filling up at a gas station. It appears the forgot or maybe couldn't afford, to fill up the car before the robbery.Law enforcement surround a rural farmstead in preparation for a drug bust. While preparing to enter the farmstead a car comes down the road toward the farm and stops a short distance from the enforcement vehicles and makes a call on the cell phone then leave. Fearing that the occupant may be warning the farm owner the farmstead is rushed. All of the officers enter the house and begin processing the crime scene. A short time later the same car pulls into the yard (filled with law enforcement vehicles) and the occupants proceed to knock on the door. They are invited in by one of the officers and busted for possetion of drug parafinalia.

Comments

  • dakotashooter2dakotashooter2 Member Posts: 6,186
    edited November -1
    I just love the heck outta # 1...


    1) When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
    parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
    bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an
    ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal
    gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's
    sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
    declined to press charges, saying that it was the best
    laugh he'd ever had.


    2) A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned
    that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking
    the report called the phone and told the guy that answered
    that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy
    the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.


    3) 45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas,
    after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of
    marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car
    which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
    According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't
    realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to
    change the oil.


    4) David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I,
    after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and
    stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out
    they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each,
    and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that
    police officers easily jumped him from behind.


    5) The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that
    a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said
    he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into
    a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for
    breaking into the school.


    6) Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in
    March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
    without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer
    didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's
    jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,
    who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
    court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
    The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket
    and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to
    compose himself.

    7) Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed
    robbery of a convenience store in a district court this
    week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district
    attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair
    job of defending himself until the store manager testified
    that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the
    woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your
    [expletive] head off!" The defendant paused, then quickly
    added, "- if I'd been the one that was there." The jury
    took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year
    sentence.

    8) R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who
    were showing their squad car computer equipment to
    children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how
    the system worked, the officers asked to use his I.D.
    for an example. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license,
    they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
    arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed
    that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery
    in St. Louis, Missouri.
  • badboybobbadboybob Member Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Oh well, nobody said crooks were smart.
  • BlueTicBlueTic Member Posts: 4,072
    edited November -1
    DARWIN AWARDS............2001These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.**************************5th RUNNER-UP goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 am, the Mono Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower.It has since been investigated and the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.*******************************4th RUNNER-UP goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch hot dog from his throat where it had choked him to death.***************************3rd RUNNER-UP goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.*******************************2nd RUNNER-UP "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it." "It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive * injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.*************************************1st RUNNER-UP doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital.Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye.Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 mm. to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.*****************************Now THIS YEAR'S WINNER...(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of Washington State, decided to attend the local Metallica concert at the George Washington Amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree.Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.Police arrived to find the crashed truck with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.Congratulations gentlemen, you win.
  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thanks, BlueTic! I love those Darwin awards; they always address incredibly stupid behavior that, for whatever reason, never seems to be reported outside of the area in which it occurred. I always got a kick out of the guy who picked up a bedside handgun & removed his skull, apparently thinking he was answering the phone.
  • .250Savage.250Savage Member Posts: 812 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Oh, God, I got tears runnin' from my eyes! (Better'n a holly stake up the wazoo anyday!)
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