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Things to think about
22WRF
Member Posts: 3,385
~~~ Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After you've
been in it for a while... it does not seem so hot.
~~~ I read recipes the same way I read science
fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's
not going to happen.'
~~~ If you're playing a poker game and you look around
the table and can't tell who the sucker is........... it's you.
~~~ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals just dying of nothing.
~~~ I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said
they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
~~~ Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
~~~ According to a recent survey, men say the first thing
they notice about women is their eyes. And women say
the first thing they notice about men is: 'they're a bunch
of liars'.
~~~ Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
~~~ All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
~~~ Why does a slight tax increase cost you five
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you
thirty cents?
~~~ In the 60's people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
~~~ There is a theory which states that if ever anybody
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it
is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has
already happened.
~~~ How is it one careless match can start a 500 acre
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
~~~ Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a couple of months
for an appointment, and he says, "Oh Oh! I wish you'd come
to me sooner."
~~~ You read about all these terrorists. Most of them
came here legally, but they hang around on these expired
visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you are two days late
with a video tape and these people are all over you.
Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man
been in it for a while... it does not seem so hot.
~~~ I read recipes the same way I read science
fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's
not going to happen.'
~~~ If you're playing a poker game and you look around
the table and can't tell who the sucker is........... it's you.
~~~ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals just dying of nothing.
~~~ I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said
they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
~~~ Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder
these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
~~~ According to a recent survey, men say the first thing
they notice about women is their eyes. And women say
the first thing they notice about men is: 'they're a bunch
of liars'.
~~~ Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
~~~ All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
~~~ Why does a slight tax increase cost you five
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you
thirty cents?
~~~ In the 60's people took acid to make the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it normal.
~~~ There is a theory which states that if ever anybody
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it
is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by
something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has
already happened.
~~~ How is it one careless match can start a 500 acre
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?
~~~ Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a couple of months
for an appointment, and he says, "Oh Oh! I wish you'd come
to me sooner."
~~~ You read about all these terrorists. Most of them
came here legally, but they hang around on these expired
visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you are two days late
with a video tape and these people are all over you.
Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man
Comments
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to.
7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that has already happened.
14. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a little campfire?
15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
I Refuse to be a Victim
Grumpy Old Man
Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of All Those that Threaten it