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AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHELP!!!

Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
edited June 2002 in General Discussion
Man I thought I could handle this, but I'm not sure now. I mean I feel like I'm getting old and I'm only 32. My baby girl is only 13 but apperently she has a boyfriend!!!!!!!! She was dancing with him at a dance they went to after school was out and now he is calling here to talk to her and he knows where we live, NOT MY LILTTLE GIRL!! SHE CAN'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YET!!! What do I do, what rules should I place on visits, should I treat this as a regular friend?? OH man, I aint ready for this! I know she is only 13 and I hope she has common sense, kids these days start way earlier than we did back then( well most of us), also this kid is 15, should I be concerned or am I just over reacting? I want her to stay little, play with Barbie Dolls and not be intersted in boys, but it appears she is getting a mind of her own. NOOOOOOOO!
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Comments

  • COONASSCOONASS Member Posts: 2,068 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have a 10 and 12 year old.........Someone once told me , When then boys start to come over. Take out the big bad looking guns before they get there. Talk a lot to your self when he is there. clean it and wipe in down alot . Just scare the hell out of him............That may make him think twice........

    We Live in a World of Give And Take, But A Lot Of People Won't Give What it Takes.
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  • k.stanonikk.stanonik Member Posts: 2,109 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ok buddy, you and the mrs have that little talk with her, you know the one about the birds and the bees, have her go out with him in groups not one on one, and the worst case take out the old 12 ga to clean when he comes around and just smile when polishing the barrel repeating your daughters name and that she is a good girl.
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  • PelicanPelican Member Posts: 1,061 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    7mil, there ain't much you can do but guide her best ya can. I only had one daughter (grown now) but when them hormones kicked in it were hell to pay for bout 4 years. Don envy you my friend, hang tough.

    The Almighty Himself Entrusted the Future of All Living Creatures to a Wooden Boat.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -"Audemus jura nostra defendere"
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  • RugerNinerRugerNiner Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    A 15 year old boy has raging hormones. At 13 if she is going out on chaparoned dates it should be with a boy her own age or or only one year older. Just my Opinion.

    Remember...Terrorist are attacking Civilians; Not the Government. Protect Yourself!
    Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
    NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
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  • sodbustersodbuster Member Posts: 2,305 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    7mm nut,,
    As I sit here my 15 yr old daughter is out sitting on MY couch, in MY living room, watching MY T.V. with her 15 yr old boyfriend.
    I've made sure that the boyfriend knows that if he hurts her I will hurt him. Oh, I am friendly with him, but he knows that I can make him disappear. If I get too mean with him, then it just makes my daughter upset with me.
    Your daughter's boyfriend need to know that you are a gun nut. He needs to see you slice bread with a machete. You need to talk to him about animals that you have shot, and how they dragged their entrals behind them as they hopelessly sought out the safety of their burrow.
    But seriously, the most important thing that you can do is talk to your daughter and let her know that if she is honest with you, then you won't kill her boyfriend.
    I don't know what to do either,,it is tough seeing them grow up, but I knew it was going to happen. I do wish you luck!! Would you wish me luck too?

    "Just my opinion."
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  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Well guys, thanks for cheering me up! I did think about taking the fella for a ride in the pickup and having a little chat and getting to know him, kinda show him just how much of a backwards redneck hick that is stuck in the old days that I am.

    As far as the hormones are concerned, we already been thru that and it aint gettin no better, I shouldnt be saying this about my daughter but she looks like a 16 year old already and has the attitude to go with it.

    We already had "the talk" and she knows how Daddy feels about becoming a grandpa.

    I too would like to see her with a boyfriend her age but she seems to like this turd, I mean kid. The last thing I want to do is upset her but yet I also want her to know that I don't approve of his age.

    They WILL NOT be going anywhere alone, either me or the wife or his parents will take them places.

    I hope this is an innocent "crush", I may be overreacting but I have to think back, I was 15 once.

    Yeah, I may just be overreacting buy dangit this is my BABY GIRL!

    Hey, can I just shoot him now and get it over with??
    Just kidding!
    or was I?, where did I put that fillet knive......................
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  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,085 ******
    edited November -1
    Lord help you. I never raised a daughter.

    My niece came to live with us when she was 13. She is nearly 19 now and doing all right, but she was a little wild when we got her, having been allowed to do pretty much as she pleased for about 2 years.

    First, we had the pregnancy talk. It went like this:

    "You need to know our policy on pregnancy in case you decide to engage in activity which exposes you to the risk thereof. First, we are not going to kill any babies. Next, we are not going to raise any babies for you.

    "If you get pregnant, we will take you to (a registered home for unwed mothers) and there you will stay. You will continue with your school work while you are there, and when it is time for you to deliver, you will deliver. You will then come home alone, and the child will go home with a family.

    "Now that you know what the rules are, you may make an informed choice about your activities."

    When she was still 13, a 17 year old boy showed up at the house. He was not well received, and he did not come back.

    When she was 16, she started keeping company with a young man a year her senior, and he had a car. I had a conversation with him when he started coming around a lot. It went like this:

    "Do you like my niece?"

    "Yes, sir."

    "Do you REALLY like my niece?"

    "Yes, sir."

    "You should understand that I like her A LOT more than you do, and I have a closet full of guns, several shovels, and 4 acres behind the house. Do you understand my meaning?"

    "Y-Y-Yes, sir."




    SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
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  • leeblackmanleeblackman Member Posts: 5,303 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Alright, I'm going to have to explain some sad facts of life to you guys. I'm 21, and remeber those days like it was yesterday. I have had what I'd consider an average upbringing. Most kids by age 15 are having sex, yes they are, and alot of girls by 13 are being pressured very hard into having sex. I practically have to beat guys off my little sister. You definately need to take precautions, and keep a constant communication line OPEN with them so they can tell you about it. You have to talk to them, counter pressure them from having sex. Otherwise, given the opertunity, they WILL have sex.

    If I'm wrong please correct me, I won't be offended.

    The sound of a 12 gauge pump clears a house fatser than Rosie O eats a Big Mac !
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  • guardian505guardian505 Member Posts: 24 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    7mmnut you have trouble right there in River City. I have been there and back. At 13 your daughter is to young to date. Peer pressure will take precedence over good judgment. Our daughter was an angel and never gave us any reason to mistrust her. At 13 she fell in love and at the urging of her girl friends, lost her Virginity. I made the boy disappear without a gun. I did have one advantage, she has a brother 6 foot 4 inches and over 250 pounds. It is my suggestion that you tell her absolutely no dating until she is 16. That will not solve all of your problems but that at age she should have a better chance of using judgment instead of hormones. and you will not be alone, many out her friends will have that same restriction.

    I don't think any amount of threats will stop the boy. They all think they will get away with it because as parents we are just stupid. Brothers are harder to fool.

    Good luck
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  • gskyhawkgskyhawk Member Posts: 4,773
    edited November -1
    7mm: man I feel for you !! my little girl just turned 6 but I know the next 6-7 years will go by way to fast and I will have to be facing what you are now !!!!!mmmmmmm maybe its time to buy another shotgun and start reloading some more shells,, you know just to be ready,, you sure its not ok to lock them in their room until they're about 20 or so????
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  • ADfreeADfree Member Posts: 188 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I only turned 17 a couple months ago, so I remember that age well. I made it through intact.

    No slam against your daughter, but this guy must be odd in someway if he has to date much younger girls. If he were a normal, reasonably attractive fella he would be going after girls who are a bit older. Either he is ugly, nerdish, perverse, or something.


    I would definitly make sure he knows how well-armed you are, but do it in a fashion that is more covert. Maybe ask him if he wants to do some shooting with you and your daughter. Bump-fire a few 30 rounders and he might realize you ain't a sissy.

    Have a chat with him about how troubled by you are by the decaying morals in current-day Americam, go into details.

    Something else you might consider is salt-peter...

    If after that he does anything to your daughter, you know what to do.
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  • ADfreeADfree Member Posts: 188 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    While I was typing this was posted. "It is my suggestion that you tell her absolutely no dating until she is 16."

    In theory that is a good idea, but it is as flawed as gun control. If ya want it, you can get it.

    I know a half dozen folks that were told this. It DOES NOT work! They are the ones that have severe problems and get in with "naughty" boys/girls.

    You are much better-served by meeting the chap and intimidating him, and seeing if he seems normal.
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  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Cherish those moments while she is still young! when those "woman" things begin to happen the fun is over!! Put it to you this way, my wife is a full blown redheaded Irish hot head, my girl took after me as far as looks (lucky her!) but she got her moms temper and it gets VERY intense here sometimes!!

    I already made it clear that there is NO dating, supervised visits only. I like the idea of groups when they go for walks together. I also told her that I must have a full description of where the walks will be taking place and that she WILL be home before dark. If I have to follow her I will, I'm gonna be one of those over protective dads.

    You folks that have already "been there done that", will the attitudes get any better? She is still "daddys girl" most of the time, she still wants to go hunting with me and we still talk alot but there are times when I think she needs a priest.

    She has a brother, but he is younger than she is and he is scared of her. He won't admit it but he is. Will he defend her honor? He better or he will meet thy wrath of my foot!

    And yes, I have thought about just locking her up in her room for another......say uhh .... 7 or 8 years.
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  • k.stanonikk.stanonik Member Posts: 2,109 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    old buddy, no kids just neices, daddy is a big guy but the uncle has the fire power, my niece stays in line, and i went through this about 13 yrs ago with a younger sister, lets just say that the boyfriends behaved or suddenly felt a very sore set of ribs, regaurdless, the younger crowd gains respect of us older people. isnt much that they do that we didnt do ourselves so we know what to watch for.
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  • sandman2234sandman2234 Member Posts: 894 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Wife was 15 when I met her. She was not allow to date till she was 16, so I waited. Five years of dating, and twenty years of marrige, and I am 7 years older than Her...
    Learn about Her "boyfriends", before you write them off. But stick to your guns about dating till She is 16. Sandman2234

    Have Gun, will travel
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  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,499 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My son is 14 and the girls call him....We only allow him to "date"
    with supervision. He is driven to their home and I transport them to where they are going and I pick them up. I sure it takes some of the fun out of things but that how it is.

    I have had the talk with my sons about being a man and the resposibilities that go with that. They were told if they ever ended up becoming a parent before marriage, then they would be going to school by day and working in the evening. It would be their duty to
    spend time with the child and to support the child.

    And finally I told them, any moron can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Daddy....

    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
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  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Only boys here. Have 4 nieces though. Was it "Thumper" that was told "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all"? But I have to stick my 2 cents worth in here. Be protective, but make sure you are not so protective that you build a barrier between the two of you. No matter what happens now, she will be your little girl for LIFE. You have had the birds and bees talk, but have you had the "protect" yourself talk? If anything happens you can not trust "him" to take care of that. In my opinion she is WAY to young for dating or anything like that, but I remember in my younger days, it was one of my main goals in life, to talk girls into it, and to outwit the "DADS". As I am sure you know, if there is a will there is a way.Trust in the way you have brought her up, alot of times that goes a long way. I have 2 boys in the 20's and no grandchildren yet, accident or otherwise. Remember EVERY other father that has had a little girl, has gone through what you are going through. It was not easy for them either, but they made it. I wish you and sodbuster and everyone else that is going through this or will be going through it the best.nunn; is there any reason (are we gonna find anyone) if we should go digging in the 4 acres behind your house? HaHa

    If I knew then, what I know now.
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  • n4thethrilln4thethrill Member Posts: 366 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    respect is nice Fear is mandatory also i like nunn's 4 acre bit in my case you can hide a lot of body's on 160 acres

    you can be king or street sweeper but everyone is going to dance with the reaper
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  • RembrandtRembrandt Member Posts: 4,486 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Just had boys here....I kept them so busy working, shooting, and hunting that girls didn't have a chance to compete. They didn't have time to get interested in girls till a couple of years out of high school....
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  • tin22tin22 Member Posts: 731 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think you need to talk to her. I must say that when I was her age I liked boys, and I didn't care what my father said about it lot of times. A lot times he would tell me to wait until I am older and leave those boys alone. My father and I had some arguments about guys. My heart was broken a lot of times, but most of the times the guys I was talking to didn't want anything. I know that when my dad said not to do it, I sneaked and did it. So you have watch for that too. I never really start getting involved with someone until I was twenty years old. I guess when I got older I was scared of Pregrancy, and diease. I wanted to be with someone who wanted a longterm relationship with me. My dad talked with us at times, but a lot times we learned on our own. My father still feel that we are his little girls, and wants the best for us. I have to love him for that. Even when I was older he still didn't want me to go. He knew I was old enough to make my decision and he supported me. My father has 4 girls and one boy, so we probably give him hand full. So just talk to her about how you feel, and what you expect. A lot time she will not like idea, but later she will see. I don't believe in scarying your child,because when you do that she might not come to you. There are time when I didn't want to come to my dad, because I know how he would react. So it's best for you make her feel if she has problems she come to you.
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  • tin22tin22 Member Posts: 731 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think you need to talk to her. I must say that when I was her age I liked boys, and I didn't care what my father said about it lot of times. A lot times he would tell me to wait until I am older and leave those boys alone. My father and I had some arguments about guys. My heart was broken a lot of times, but most of the times the guys I was talking to didn't want anything. I know that when my dad said not to do it, I sneaked and did it. So you have watch for that too. I never really start getting involved with someone until I was twenty years old. I guess when I got older I was scared of Pregrancy, and diease. I wanted to be with someone who wanted a longterm relationship with me. My dad talked with us at times, but a lot times we learned on our own. My father still feel that we are his little girls, and wants the best for us. I have to love him for that. Even when I was older he still didn't want me to go. He knew I was old enough to make my decision and he supported me. My father has 4 girls and one boy, so we probably give him hand full. So just talk to her about how you feel, and what you expect. A lot time she will not like idea, but later she will see. I don't believe in scarying your child,because when you do that she might not come to you. There are time when I didn't want to come to my dad, because I know how he would react. So it's best for you make her feel if she has problems she come to you.
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  • azzeaterazzeater Member Posts: 187 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    An older buddy of mine told me that it was harder raising his daughter because when you have a boy you're only worried about one dick in the neighborhood, when you have a girl, you're worried about all the dicks in the neighborhood. I feel for you, i do not want a daughter for reasons that you have mentioned. Who knows what to do, all kids are different. Best of luck!

    hey all!
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  • sig-mansig-man Member Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You can always look at it like this...FREE LABOR... now you will have someone to mow your grass, clean your gutters, go under the house in all those cnfined spaces full of spiders,and if he still shows up after all that he might just be worthy of seeing your little girl,who knows if it runs him off the word might get out on the street that dating your daughter is to much like work and they will all stay away...food for thought

    R.I.P 45, 28, 3
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  • salzosalzo Member Posts: 6,396 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    SigMan- Aint that the truth. I feel like a slave when Im around my in-law. Its been like that since I met my wife, and I dont see that changing.

    "The powers delegated by the proposed constitution to the federal governmentare few and defined, and will be exercised principally on external objects, as war, peace negotiation, and foreign commerce"
    -James Madison
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  • competentonecompetentone Member Posts: 4,696 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    7mm,

    I'm just doing the math here. You're 32 with a 13 year old daughter? That makes you 19 when she was downloaded (and even younger when she was uploaded). How old was your significant other when all this occurred?

    My point: What you say to your daughter will be compared to what you have done by your example--be aware of that when setting guidelines. If you were having a kid when you were 18, you must have been dating when you were 13--or atleast that will be the way your daughter thinks.
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  • allen griggsallen griggs Member Posts: 35,696 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You want your son to protect his big sister's honor? How does he do that? That sounds like a thankless and impossible task to lay on a kid.

    "Not as deep as a well, or as wide as a church door, but it is enough."
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  • SawzSawz Member Posts: 6,049
    edited November -1
    I just told two boys tonight who were flirting with my 16 year old girl who is as cute as they come..that if they get any ideas about kissing my daughter they could .. as long as they kiss me first the exact same way they kiss her... when she was young I told her to double up her fist.. showed her how . then said if anybody touches you or tries to kiss you (she was 6 at the time) then to hit em in the stomach and say thats from my dad.. she actually used that once

    "Respect your Tools"
    "Freedom is not Free"
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  • ADfreeADfree Member Posts: 188 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:
    I just told two boys tonight who were flirting with my 16 year old girl who is as cute as they come..that if they get any ideas about kissing my daughter they could .. as long as they kiss me first the exact same way they kiss her... when she was young I told her to double up her fist.. showed her how . then said if anybody touches you or tries to kiss you (she was 6 at the time) then to hit em in the stomach and say thats from my dad.. she actually used that once

    "Respect your Tools"
    "Freedom is not Free"


    That last sentence is darn funny.

    Are chastity belts still available?

    I hope that if I ever have a daughter she is not too attractive... I guess with genes coming from me that won't be a problem. LOL
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  • ndbillyndbilly Member Posts: 1,573 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wow, are you guys making this overly complicated. I have a daughter and told her that I will support any decision she makes regarding a significant other beginning the very moment she finishes medical school. No problems so far and she's 11 already!
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  • thunderboltthunderbolt Member Posts: 6,041 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Don't let your daughter date at 13. Sending a 13 year old girl out
    alone with a boy is playing with fire. When passion rises, threats of punishment are forgotten. After that, it's too late.
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  • Judge DreadJudge Dread Member Posts: 2,372 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If you are in California (Does not matter if boy or girl) you do worry
    about all the "tools" being near .....

    Education is the tool ,disclosure , a sex documentary ,Maybe it will turn out like a friend LEO with his daughter ....

    The worried father show her an "educational docummentary" ....

    Dont worry dad I have had quite bigher ones , showing him a box with diafragms,profilactics ,IUDs,pills ,and a gigantic dildo.....

    The poor guy ended up in a shrinks office....

    Good I have only boys ,it takes sports, education, and teach them well to keep their guns clean ,be careful in the field as not to trip and stick the barrel in the "mud".

    JD

    Poor choice of destiny make thoose that for upholding the law go against the "LAW".
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