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Sports Newcomers
ATF
Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
Wayfroyd P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs.Who is white. Wide Receiver.
Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player.
Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroyd can print his complete name.
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back.Another white guy
Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back.STILL ANOTHER WHITE GUY
From Tyler, Texas.ANOTHER WHITE GUY Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams
very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to
change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle.
A 3rd generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.AND ANOTHER WHITE ONE.
Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. ANOTHER WHITEY.
Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the N on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge", but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance Exam.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver.AND ANOTHER WHITE WHATEVER
Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.
Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but
was also willing to sign with us.
Likes women and Cadillac's. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard.I THINK THIS GUY IS WHITE,BUT NOT SURE ?
Played high school ball under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words either.)
Note: School track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, they will be using a burglar alarm.
ATF
Edited by - ATF on 09/21/2002 18:50:51
Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player.
Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroyd can print his complete name.
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back.Another white guy
Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back.STILL ANOTHER WHITE GUY
From Tyler, Texas.ANOTHER WHITE GUY Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams
very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to
change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle.
A 3rd generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.AND ANOTHER WHITE ONE.
Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. ANOTHER WHITEY.
Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the N on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge", but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance Exam.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver.AND ANOTHER WHITE WHATEVER
Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.
Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but
was also willing to sign with us.
Likes women and Cadillac's. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard.I THINK THIS GUY IS WHITE,BUT NOT SURE ?
Played high school ball under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words either.)
Note: School track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, they will be using a burglar alarm.
ATF
Edited by - ATF on 09/21/2002 18:50:51
Comments
ATF
"A Fear of Weapons is a sign of Retarded Sexual
and Emotional Maturity" Sigmund Freud
"MOLON LABE !"
Edited by - pikeal1 on 09/21/2002 13:39:06
If your gonna be stupid you better be tough !!
Colleges want the athletes, to get money from the alumni and to make themselves look good. If they can graduate a few people every year without having passed a single class on their own...who cares...they can play ball.
and like I said...just look at the UM football team. Rape, shoplifting, grand theft...and thats just what i remember off the top of my head.
If your gonna be stupid you better be tough !!
If your gonna be stupid you better be tough !!