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Natural Selection
austin247
Member Posts: 375 ✭
You may have heard these before, but I thought they were pretty funny...
(28 February 2000, Texas) A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian roulette with a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol. Rashaad, nineteen, was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered.
(4 February 2002, New Mexico) Police say three men tried to rob an Albuquerque man who had placed a newspaper ad to sell a gun. The robbers arranged a meeting, then beat and sprayed mace on the gun owner in an attempt to steal the weapon. Surprise! The gun seller was also a gun owner. 18-year-old Carlos intercepted a bullet and died before rescue crews arrived. One can understand the mistake of robbing a man who unexpectedly turns and shoots, but if the robber singles out a victim because he is selling a gun, then tries to steal the weapon, there's no excuse for being surprised to discover he is armed. As a Darwinian bonus, there's a fairly good chance that the 18-year-old has not yet reproduced.
(3 August 2001, Pennsylvania) Phil, a curious Philadelphia resident, wondered what it felt like to be hit by a bullet. so he took a gun and
shot himself in the shoulder. This sent the ambulance racing to Phil's residence for the second time, to treat another gunshot wound.
Why did he do it, not once but twice? In Phil's own words, "I wanted to see if it hurt as much as it did the first time."
(3 February 1990, Washington) A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his
terminally stupid choices as listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a
gun shop.
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state
where a substantial portion of the adult
population is licensed to carry concealed
handguns in public places.
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a
marked Police patrol car parked at the front
door.
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the
counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
(28 February 2000, Texas) A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian roulette with a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol. Rashaad, nineteen, was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered.
(4 February 2002, New Mexico) Police say three men tried to rob an Albuquerque man who had placed a newspaper ad to sell a gun. The robbers arranged a meeting, then beat and sprayed mace on the gun owner in an attempt to steal the weapon. Surprise! The gun seller was also a gun owner. 18-year-old Carlos intercepted a bullet and died before rescue crews arrived. One can understand the mistake of robbing a man who unexpectedly turns and shoots, but if the robber singles out a victim because he is selling a gun, then tries to steal the weapon, there's no excuse for being surprised to discover he is armed. As a Darwinian bonus, there's a fairly good chance that the 18-year-old has not yet reproduced.
(3 August 2001, Pennsylvania) Phil, a curious Philadelphia resident, wondered what it felt like to be hit by a bullet. so he took a gun and
shot himself in the shoulder. This sent the ambulance racing to Phil's residence for the second time, to treat another gunshot wound.
Why did he do it, not once but twice? In Phil's own words, "I wanted to see if it hurt as much as it did the first time."
(3 February 1990, Washington) A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his
terminally stupid choices as listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a
gun shop.
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state
where a substantial portion of the adult
population is licensed to carry concealed
handguns in public places.
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a
marked Police patrol car parked at the front
door.
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the
counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
Comments
Some people just shouldn't be allowed to breed
A Florida man wielding a large butcher knife entered the local pizza hut and demanded the cashier give him all the money or else he would "blow everyones heads off", the staff began laughing at the would be criminal and he panicked and ran from the seen...
Shortly therafter, the would be criminal was apprehended at his residence by the local PD. It seems the same individual, just hours before his attemted robbery, applied for a job at the same pizza hut. The manager had given his application to the police... Duuuhhhh.
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
Excellent reading!!! As to those listed in your post, I'll refer to my many previous posts on "high speed, low drag" folks like this - NUMB NUTS.
Lt
"We become what we habitually do. If we act rightly, we become upright men. If we habitually act wrongly, or weakly, we become weak and corrupt" - *ARISTOTLE*
**Like Grandad used to say--"It'll feel better when it quits hurtin"
Edited by - lt496 on 05/15/2002 10:34:46
The original-- accept no substitutes! Good reading austin.