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How accurate is this?
will270win
Member Posts: 4,845
Subject: Dennis Miller on the Middle East
> A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
> to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of
> the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really
> need. Don't thank me. I'm a giver.
> Here we go: the Palestinians want their own country. There's just
> one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word.
> Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan,"
> "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before
> the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there
> were no "Palestinians" then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan,
> and there were no "Palestinians" then. As soon as the Jews took over
> and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know,
> say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with
> their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not
> use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful
> folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out
> they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other
> Arabs From The Same General Area Who Are In Deep Denial About Never
> Being Able To Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap
> Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
> I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
> then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
> Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just
> one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country
> any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp
> David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic
> lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you
> actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun.
> No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want:
> Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course-that's
> where the real fun is-but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one
> thing, trying to destroy Israel-or "The Zionist Entity" as their
> textbooks call it-for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of
> Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from
> the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and
> tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around
> God's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me
> roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the
> great history and culture of the Muslim MidEast. Unless I'm missing
> something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since
> Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew
> this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million
> Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel
> as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same
> folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,
> everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what
> about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the
> constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?
> Oh, that? We were just kidding.
> My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
> reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five
> million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can
> anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite
> to themselves? Of course not. Or marshalling every fiber and force at
> their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab state into the
> sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents?
> Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs
> baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you
> know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would
> ever do to people is debate them to death.
> Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that
> with vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our
> interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much
> as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than
> stabilizing a roomful of supermodels who've just had their drugs
> taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a
> danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some. After
> September 11 our president told us and the world he was going to root
> out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful.
> Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent
> of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the
> same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America
> were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all
> very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with
> it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the
> Jordan. (Hey, wait a minute, that's actually not such a bad ide . .
> uh, that is, what a horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)
~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
> A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service
> to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of
> the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really
> need. Don't thank me. I'm a giver.
> Here we go: the Palestinians want their own country. There's just
> one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word.
> Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan,"
> "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before
> the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there
> were no "Palestinians" then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan,
> and there were no "Palestinians" then. As soon as the Jews took over
> and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know,
> say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with
> their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not
> use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful
> folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out
> they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other
> Arabs From The Same General Area Who Are In Deep Denial About Never
> Being Able To Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap
> Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
> I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,
> then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
> Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just
> one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country
> any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp
> David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic
> lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you
> actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun.
> No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want:
> Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course-that's
> where the real fun is-but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one
> thing, trying to destroy Israel-or "The Zionist Entity" as their
> textbooks call it-for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of
> Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from
> the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and
> tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around
> God's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me
> roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the
> great history and culture of the Muslim MidEast. Unless I'm missing
> something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since
> Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew
> this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million
> Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel
> as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same
> folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,
> everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what
> about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the
> constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?
> Oh, that? We were just kidding.
> My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just
> reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five
> million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can
> anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite
> to themselves? Of course not. Or marshalling every fiber and force at
> their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab state into the
> sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents?
> Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs
> baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you
> know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would
> ever do to people is debate them to death.
> Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that
> with vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our
> interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much
> as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than
> stabilizing a roomful of supermodels who've just had their drugs
> taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a
> danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some. After
> September 11 our president told us and the world he was going to root
> out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful.
> Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent
> of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the
> same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America
> were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all
> very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with
> it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the
> Jordan. (Hey, wait a minute, that's actually not such a bad ide . .
> uh, that is, what a horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)
~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
Comments
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
I'm going to print that out and read it in class tomorrow.
It explains the bare facts, utterly devoid of doublespeak or political crap-jargon.
I applaud Dennis Miller.
Sad part bullz, I think it probably is.
Clouder..
What? The most brilliant? Or the most brilliant that bullz has ever read?
Bullz knows, laws'a mercy yes, dat ol' bullz knows fo sure.
(I meant the latter. You're kinda new here or I wouldn't have made this response. Bullz claims to be 18 years old. Knowing that, watch his posts, they're worthy of vaudeville as he scrambles from one faux pas to the next.)
Clouder..
Does one have to be stupid to be naive? Just a qustion.
Clouder..