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Top 8 Idiots of 2001
dheffley
Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
Top 8 Idiots of 2001 Idiot # 1 - I am a medical student currently doing a rotation intoxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in veryupset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quicklyreassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end ofthe conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some antpoison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told he that she better bringher daughter into the Emergency room right away. Here's your sign lady.Wear it with pride.Idiot # 2 - Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees at the airfielddecided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successfulin getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float onthe river, a Coast Guard helicopter surprised them. It turned out thatthe chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activatedwhen the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run. Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob adowntown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this is astikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waitingto give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seenhim write the note and might call the police before he reached theteller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street toWells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note tothe Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spellingerrors that wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, she told him thatshe could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank ofAmerica deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a WellsFargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhatdefeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minuteslater, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't botherwith this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. Idiot # 4 - A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trapthat measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He receivedin the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of sendingin a check for payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.Several days later, he received a letter from the police that containedanother picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his$40. Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinkingabout.) Idiot # 5 - A Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun anddemanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put thecash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind thecounter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over21." The robber Said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it tohim because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took hisdriver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerklooked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put thescotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. Thecashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of therobber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. (Remindme to have more signs printed up. Give this guy his!) Idiot # 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervouslywaving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partnermoved, the startled first bandit shot him. (This guy doesn't need a sign,he probably figured it out himself.) Idiot # 7 - Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. Hedecided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved itover his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit thewould-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquorstore window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught onvideotape. (Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!) Idiot # 8 - Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a manwalked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed agun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said hecouldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the manordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.The man, frustrated, walked away.
Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
Save, research, then buy the best.Join the NRA, NOW!Teach them young, teach them safe, teach them forever, but most of all, teach them to VOTE!
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