One-of-a-kind lot available for immediate delivery

Iconoclast

This lot consists of one 17 y.o. male. Aside from some - although apparently not enough - wear about the buttocks, it is in good shape. Among its more interesting features are an ability to sleep at any time and an affinity for pigsties Money-back warranted not to wake you between dawn and noon unless strictly, specifically and repeatedly instructed to do so. Specimen is intelligent (although that is not necessarily apparent), mechanically adept, personable, hard working and reasonably good looking. For a member of the breed, it requires very little caloric intake. It has graduated from using newspapers on the floor and usually remembers to lift the seat before emptying its bladder. It has had some exposure to the English language, most recently the variety found in Marine Corps Basic Training, and seems to communicate in the American teen patois of the same root language. However, fortunately, it does seem to comprehend certain elements of the standard tongue if these are repeated at frequent intervals. For example, after suffering repeated gasoline withdrawal accompanied by verbal commands, it has learned to use a seat belt, which is the only reason the lot is presently available in an above ground model. It has had professional training as a cook and dish washer. It has a working knowledge of basic firearm types, experience in their use and cleaning, and the trainer has absolutely no reservations about the specimen's responsible behavior in respect to that particular item. The apparent density of the upper body extremity suggests it might be useful as a boat anchor. It has excellent fine motor skills from long training on something called video games and hasconsiderable experience in the use of something known as a snowboard. Apparently the subject failed to notice that he was operating a motor vehicle rather than this wooden device when descending a steep snow-slick road 14 hours ago. The specimen is a fast learner and has shown itself adept at most tasks, with the exception of operating motorized machinery capable of obtaining speeds in excess of 10 mph. The successful bidder is welcome to attempt training in this skill, but nowarranty will be provided as to the success of any such effort. When last seen, the specimen was resting stomach down and babbling about stone walls and slippery roads. Comes with length of 2x4 useful inobtaining specimen's attention for brief periods, 25 pounds of Valium, unused bottle of nitroglycerine tablets and one slightlydamaged 1988 full-size Ford Bronco 4x4 with excellent motor, solid frame and all glass. It is believed that most of the smaller dents in the latter accessory can be removed by energetic application of specimen'sskull to the proper points. However, repairing the hood, the left front/ left rear / right rear quarter panels, grill, radiator, and bothbumpers could exceed the fracture level of that particular chunk ofsolid granite and so likely will need replacing. All shipping expenseswill be paid by the seller. Opening bid: 1 Argentine peso; there is a modest reserve which could be met at any moment now. Will accept trades for running 4x4 vehicles. All sales final!Be damned if I can get rid of all the hard carriage returns in this post![This message has been edited by Iconoclast (edited 03-07-2002).][This message has been edited by Iconoclast (edited 03-07-2002).][This message has been edited by Iconoclast (edited 03-07-2002).]

drach

Sorry no bid, have one of my own currently only 8 years old, but I can see the coming problems you have described and would like to defer them as long as possible. In others words I am not ready.

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Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands") ~~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)

JustC

If it can re-load to instructed specs i.e.( desired OAL, polish brilliance, and correct components), likes vegatative care including trimming, weeding, pruning, etc I may be interested. Model must also be able to successfuly keep 2001 Suburban washed and waxed as well as polished aluminum rims taken care of, oil changed and filters maintained. Must be able to use powerwash equipment as well as perform construction related tasks, often off of the beaten path, and must not be aversed to ticks and jiggers.Will trade 31 yr old model, in good physical and operational condition. Lower (nether regions) work occasionaly, upper regions have constant noise but can be drowned out by good stereo or television. earns good money and is intelligent, also comes complete with diamond accessories and wardrobe. Need emotional support but will return the effort when necessary. Does not run around and can be trusted with males of the species. However, 1/2 of the original IRA will not be included as it is needed for other models.[This message has been edited by JustC (edited 03-07-2002).]

He Dog

I though long and hard about getting one of those some years ago (a bit before you got this one in fact) and opted for a vasectomy instead. A decision I have never regreted.

Iconoclast

He Dog, while I have had some "interesting" events with this model and would change some of those if provided with a functional time machine, overall I am glad I invested in it. JustC, the lot offered can do oil changes and similar mechanical work, knows how to do numerous manual construction operations and the tools invoved, can detail vehicles provided it is reminded on each occasion, is intimately familiar with vegetative height reduction techniques and loves the outdoors. It has no training with the shaping of ornamental vegetation and likely would not be a good choice for that task. However, it has already performed high quality reloading work and has always demonstrated an admirable sense of responsibility in everything pertaining to firearms / shooting. It comes complete with Hunter Safety Certificate and, for the proper master, I would include certain long arms with which it has become proficient; I believe it might miss the Glock for a while, but that would pass with time. As with the trade offered, the volume control seems to be stuck on 'high,' but I have found that a length of duct tape can remedy the situation temporarily. I might consider the trade if your model's lower regions prove to be in good working order (at least one test ride would be required), it does not break cameras or mirrors and you would accept a slightly older version as part of the deal. The second unit would come fully equipped with all the pretty ornamental rocks and decorative body coverings. Volume control intermittently functional (although the atomically powered jaw has been known to kick into overdrive for no readily apparent reason), lower regions in excellent working order requiring frequent energetic operation to secure the best results with the whole unit, unquestionably intelligent, highly educated, speaks three languages and it is an excellent domestic engineer which can and does function well in the external economic sector. Exterior design still draws second looks. On the downside, it has had some training with firearms and in drowning worms, but greatly prefers opera and ballet. Originally, it preferred high density population centers but has matured somewhat in that respect.

robsguns

It sounds as if this specimen was a reject from Marine Corps Boot Camp, that being the case, he either has great potential, or none.Bidding would be extremely dangerous from an investment aspect. I believe this specimen needs to be introduced to living without parental support to fully appreciate the role of self discipline. Seems as if nothing else has worked. Still sounds like a better kid than mine. He's 5, and she's 6. Will trade for the 5 year old.

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SSgt Ryan E. Roberts, USMC

badboybob

No bid from me. I raised 4 and that's enough dang it! Maybe you could interest the Army in this USMC reject.

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PC=BS

nunn

Got one up and gone and two more on the way. I hear after about 7 more years they get their brains back.

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Certified SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of the General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the premier gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net Jesus is Lord!

JustC

sounds like we may be exchnaging close to the same thing (second model).. mine can drown worms as well as peeler crabs and has a great affection for doing so. It baits it's own hooks and de-hooks it's own catch. Can launch a boat of 23' length as well as drive lifted vehicle containing 35" tires in tight places. gains it's monetary sustainance from Perdue Inc. and it's "inventors" have large tracts of hunting property in the flyway. Havn't had a lot of range time with the nether regions as of late, i think the addition of compressed coal accessories may have had an adverse affect on thier performance. Does however have the original starwberry blonde forearm AS WELL AS STOCK, and both are in perfect condition, although it has been a while since I examined the stock closely. Works well with yellow lab of 2 1/2 years which upon discussion of included long guns may be thrown in at no charge.

JustC

OK, how about all of the aforementioned plus some money?[This message has been edited by JustC (edited 03-07-2002).]

Iconoclast

Actually, Sgt. Ryan, an introduction to the tender ministrations of the USMC contingent at Paris Island has been under serious contemplation by the present owner and while a few tours w/ the squids would be the sentimental choice of the home team, it is believed he would perform well in any of the uniformed services. And, all kidding aside, the input given by will, idsman & Beach has been carefully noted and discussed over the last several months.Mr. Nunn, I'm not entirely sure this applies here. I believe this specimen needs to grow some before he can recover any! JustC, hardened carbon has been proven to seriously interfere with certain critical functions of many models of this series in just the manner you describe. The seller's body is suggesting that it needs more than two hours' sleep, so this will be continued later.

competentone

Could be interested in bidding if somebody had a female version...assuming she didn't eat too much...

JustC

competentone, My lot is still up. First one between iconoclast and you takes it. It requires little nourishment as it is maybe 120lbs at best.Iconoclast, so what if I were to take off the carbon accessories? would the function improve? Or should I get another model and store it somewhere else? hehehehe

Iconoclast

JustC, once one has applies the pressure-treated carbon, the equipment never works as well *for that particular person* and the only choices remaining are to accept the diminished performance or to divest oneself of the model, recognizing that any ornamental material supplied to the specimen will also be lost. Note that there are significant risks attendant in attempting to maintain two or more entities meeting these specifications simultaneously once the dense carbon matter has been applied. It can, in fact, be far more costly than simply cutting one's losses on the first model . . . although many have tried and a few do succeed. Involuntary removal of the pretty pebbles does not improve the functioning of these models and can provoke them to a lethal rage; it should never be attempted by the original provider - although one with sufficient guile can sometimes cause these to be thrown in his direction. Now, I note you have not mentioned whether or not the suggested trade includes any miniature inventions by the model in question, which would be a key consideration for many who might consider the merits of this.

UNIVERSITY50

this is a bogus offer! i have the same lot, which i was willing to give away recently. mine did not damage a older 4x4, but a 2002 mercury sable sport sedan! mine is currently in need of some replacements parts, rubber heels to replace the rubber wheels it use to travel on! now with that said, and this being the second time i posted this, since my model is also computer savy and deleted the first post, this model will soon need replacement digits on it's typing elements if it tries to hit the delete button again.

Iconoclast

University50, the unit currently available is unable to *sit* due the pattern of size 12D boot print bruises it sports, one of said boots remaining firmly wedged in place. It also is becoming re-acquainted with the phenomena of 'heel & toe' exercise. The seller's electronic gear is now and has always been off limits to the lesser members of the household; there was a prolonged period of social isolation the one time this stricture was violated. That period will be fondly remembered for its brevity after the latest incident. Of course, the nice thing about a new vehicle is that it is fully insured while a fully serviceable older one is worth far more to the owner than the walking dead who make accident adjustments.

UNIVERSITY50

lol on the 12d, and yes i totally agree on the lost of a useful vehicle vs. a new insured one.