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Humor: Time To Get Even
Josey1
Member Posts: 9,598 ✭✭
Turner: Time To Get Even
By Louis Turner - Associate Editor
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day watching the anti-gun news, and you have the need to take it out on the nearest socialist, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on every Socialist you don't know.
I know, I know. You are gonna say that these folks are liberals! Nope. Not anymore. These anti-gun vermin are Socialists, and after hearing all their socialistic crap for so many years, I just could not take it anymore.
It all started when I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying," Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Louis Turner, could I please speak with Terry Spence?" Suddenly, the person on the other end yelled, "You little right-wing extremist. Go to hell! I voted for GORE." And he hung up on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. And what the heck?? Extremist? Voted for Gore?
I tracked down Terry's correct number, and called her. (I had incorrectly dialed the last digit of her phone number).
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're a Socialist Idiot!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down, with the word 'Socialist idiot' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a Socialist Idiot!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'Socialist Idiot' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Dexter from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a Socialist Idiot!"
So, one day I was at the 7-11, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some man in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. "You can stick that NRA sticker where the sun don't shine fella," replied the driver.
NRA sticker? Oh yeah, I got one of those. Too bad he didn't see the "We are a Republic, not a mob-ruled democracy" sticker.
That damn Socialist! I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first Socialist (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW Socialist, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can you tell me where you live so that I can come out and see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1263 East 21st Street. It's a red house and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is David Chigger," he said.
Laughing at the name I said, "When's a good time to catch you, David?"
"I'm home every evening after Six."
"Listen, David, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"David, "You're a Socialist Idiot!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two Socialists to call. But after several weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea: I called Socialist #1.
"Hello"
"You're a Socialist Idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is David Chigger."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1263 East 21st Street, a red house with my black Beemer parked in front.
He said, "I'm coming over right now David. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, you Socialist wimp. If your knees were on the back of your legs, what would your chair look like?"
Then I called Socialist # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Socialist," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, Socialist, here's your chance. I'm coming over! Right now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1263 East 21st Street, and I need help because I was on my way over there with a truckload of guns to shoot the liberal babysitter.
Then, I called Channel 15 news about the gang-gun war going down on East 21st Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 21st Street.
There, I saw two Socialists beating the crap out of each other in front of 12 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I feel better.
The ancient Greeks built a wooden horse and the poor old Trojans couldn't overcome their curiosity. I'm gonna build a Golden Hammer, and see how many Socialists I can force into the slammer.
http://www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=4046
"If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
By Louis Turner - Associate Editor
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day watching the anti-gun news, and you have the need to take it out on the nearest socialist, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on every Socialist you don't know.
I know, I know. You are gonna say that these folks are liberals! Nope. Not anymore. These anti-gun vermin are Socialists, and after hearing all their socialistic crap for so many years, I just could not take it anymore.
It all started when I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying," Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Louis Turner, could I please speak with Terry Spence?" Suddenly, the person on the other end yelled, "You little right-wing extremist. Go to hell! I voted for GORE." And he hung up on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. And what the heck?? Extremist? Voted for Gore?
I tracked down Terry's correct number, and called her. (I had incorrectly dialed the last digit of her phone number).
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're a Socialist Idiot!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down, with the word 'Socialist idiot' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a Socialist Idiot!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'Socialist Idiot' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Dexter from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a Socialist Idiot!"
So, one day I was at the 7-11, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some man in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. "You can stick that NRA sticker where the sun don't shine fella," replied the driver.
NRA sticker? Oh yeah, I got one of those. Too bad he didn't see the "We are a Republic, not a mob-ruled democracy" sticker.
That damn Socialist! I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first Socialist (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW Socialist, too.
I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes it is."
"Can you tell me where you live so that I can come out and see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1263 East 21st Street. It's a red house and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is David Chigger," he said.
Laughing at the name I said, "When's a good time to catch you, David?"
"I'm home every evening after Six."
"Listen, David, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"David, "You're a Socialist Idiot!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two Socialists to call. But after several weeks of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea: I called Socialist #1.
"Hello"
"You're a Socialist Idiot!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is David Chigger."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"I live at 1263 East 21st Street, a red house with my black Beemer parked in front.
He said, "I'm coming over right now David. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, you Socialist wimp. If your knees were on the back of your legs, what would your chair look like?"
Then I called Socialist # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Socialist," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, Socialist, here's your chance. I'm coming over! Right now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1263 East 21st Street, and I need help because I was on my way over there with a truckload of guns to shoot the liberal babysitter.
Then, I called Channel 15 news about the gang-gun war going down on East 21st Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 21st Street.
There, I saw two Socialists beating the crap out of each other in front of 12 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I feel better.
The ancient Greeks built a wooden horse and the poor old Trojans couldn't overcome their curiosity. I'm gonna build a Golden Hammer, and see how many Socialists I can force into the slammer.
http://www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=4046
"If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
Comments
thanks for the laugh Josey!