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Really neat Quotes LMAO
Harleeman1030
Member Posts: 1,505 ✭✭✭✭✭
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
(BE KIND NOW .... AND MINDFUL OF THE FACT THAT IT WASN'T HOW HER BRAIN LOOKED IN A BATHING SUIT THAT GOT HER THERE! LMAO)
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"
--Mariah Carey
( YEAH! DON'T YA JUST HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WHILE DIETING BETWEEN POWER LUNCHES?)
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
( AND IF SHE EVER PLUCKED THOSE EYEBROWS SHE'D LOSE A HUGE PART OF HERSELF TOO!)
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball
forward.
( PROBABLY A SAFE BET WINSTON WASN'T PURSUING A MEDICAL DEGREE EITHER! )
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
(THIS MUST HAVE BEEN QUOTED FROM BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN THE GOODLY MAYOR, MARION BARRY, WAS RUNNING ON THE CHINESE MARCHING POWDER TICKET! LMAO )
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president,"
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
( LIKE HER HUBBY, HILLARY'S TRUST RATING RUNS LOWER THAN A RATTLERS BUTT IN A BUGGY TRACK )
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a *, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
( THIS IS PRETTY SELF EXPLANITORY, WOULDN'T YA SAY? LOL )
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
( GEE, HAD THEY ONLY KNOWN WE WERE COMING, THEY COULD HAVE BAKED US A CAKE MAYBE, HUH? HE MAY HAVE BEEN A GREAT ACTOR AND A HOLLYWOOD ICON BUT ..... DUKE, YOU'RE BEING A DIP, HERE)
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
(AND ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THIS STATEMENT MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS CHINESE ARITHMATIC.)
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
( DOWNRIGHT SCAREY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, .... THE PERSON THAT IS ONLY ONE HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM BEING PRESIDENT OF THE MOST POWERFUL COUNTRY ON THE PLANET IS ABOUT AS SHARP AS A POUND OF WET LEATHER! )
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
( NOW, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN ONE HELLUVA DAILY COMMUTE, DAN! LOL )
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George Bush, US President
(TRUE, VERY TRUE, MR. PRESIDENT. UNFORTUNATELY I AM NOT TOO COMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT THE ONES WITH "NO OPINION" AT ALL ARE INCREASING IN NUMBER! )
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
( AIR MUST BE LIKE SEX TO MR. IACOCCA ~ HE WON'T MISS IT UNTIL HE CAN'T GET ANY! LOL )
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
( THAT SOUNDS VAGUELY FAMILIAR. ISN'T THAT THE OATH ALL I.R.S. AGENTS TAKE? )
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,"
--Joe Theisman, NFL quarterback &sports analyst.
( SO WHO SAID JOCKS HAD TO BE ROCKET SCIENTISTS TOO? LOL )
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
( WITH AN ABILITY TO PRODUCE SUCH VERBAGE, ONE HAS TO ASK THEMSELVES, "WHY ISN'T THIS GUY A GENERAL YET?" HAHAHA )
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
(... AND TO THINK, THERE ARE GROUPS PAYING THIS CLOWN MEGA-BUCKS ON THE
SPEECH CIRCUIT! LOL )
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
( FACE IT AL, THERE ISN'T THE SLIGHTEST BREEZE BLOWING THROUGH THE WINDMILL OF YOUR MIND! )
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
( WELL THAT MUST EXPLAIN WHY THE ENTIRE CONTINENT IS SURROUNDED BY WATER, HUH, SPARKY!? )
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a
change in your circumstances."
--Dept. of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
( ONLY PERSON THAT POSSIBLY HAD A CHANGE OF CIRCUMSTANCE LIKE THAT WAS ELVIS PRESLEY! )Incidently, Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa were last reported working graveyard shifts near the Prudhoe Bay Oilfields in Alaska.
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
( INTERESTING, MARK! AS CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION, YOU SEEM TO LACK ONE OF THE BASIC REQUIREMENTS OF YOUR PROFESSION, SIR! AND THAT IS THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WELL! LOL )
Harleeman1030@aol.com
Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
!!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
(BE KIND NOW .... AND MINDFUL OF THE FACT THAT IT WASN'T HOW HER BRAIN LOOKED IN A BATHING SUIT THAT GOT HER THERE! LMAO)
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"
--Mariah Carey
( YEAH! DON'T YA JUST HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WHILE DIETING BETWEEN POWER LUNCHES?)
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
( AND IF SHE EVER PLUCKED THOSE EYEBROWS SHE'D LOSE A HUGE PART OF HERSELF TOO!)
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball
forward.
( PROBABLY A SAFE BET WINSTON WASN'T PURSUING A MEDICAL DEGREE EITHER! )
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
(THIS MUST HAVE BEEN QUOTED FROM BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN THE GOODLY MAYOR, MARION BARRY, WAS RUNNING ON THE CHINESE MARCHING POWDER TICKET! LMAO )
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president,"
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
( LIKE HER HUBBY, HILLARY'S TRUST RATING RUNS LOWER THAN A RATTLERS BUTT IN A BUGGY TRACK )
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a *, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
( THIS IS PRETTY SELF EXPLANITORY, WOULDN'T YA SAY? LOL )
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
( GEE, HAD THEY ONLY KNOWN WE WERE COMING, THEY COULD HAVE BAKED US A CAKE MAYBE, HUH? HE MAY HAVE BEEN A GREAT ACTOR AND A HOLLYWOOD ICON BUT ..... DUKE, YOU'RE BEING A DIP, HERE)
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
(AND ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THIS STATEMENT MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS CHINESE ARITHMATIC.)
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
( DOWNRIGHT SCAREY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, .... THE PERSON THAT IS ONLY ONE HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM BEING PRESIDENT OF THE MOST POWERFUL COUNTRY ON THE PLANET IS ABOUT AS SHARP AS A POUND OF WET LEATHER! )
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
( NOW, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN ONE HELLUVA DAILY COMMUTE, DAN! LOL )
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George Bush, US President
(TRUE, VERY TRUE, MR. PRESIDENT. UNFORTUNATELY I AM NOT TOO COMFORTABLE WITH THE FACT THAT THE ONES WITH "NO OPINION" AT ALL ARE INCREASING IN NUMBER! )
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
( AIR MUST BE LIKE SEX TO MR. IACOCCA ~ HE WON'T MISS IT UNTIL HE CAN'T GET ANY! LOL )
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
( THAT SOUNDS VAGUELY FAMILIAR. ISN'T THAT THE OATH ALL I.R.S. AGENTS TAKE? )
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,"
--Joe Theisman, NFL quarterback &sports analyst.
( SO WHO SAID JOCKS HAD TO BE ROCKET SCIENTISTS TOO? LOL )
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
( WITH AN ABILITY TO PRODUCE SUCH VERBAGE, ONE HAS TO ASK THEMSELVES, "WHY ISN'T THIS GUY A GENERAL YET?" HAHAHA )
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
(... AND TO THINK, THERE ARE GROUPS PAYING THIS CLOWN MEGA-BUCKS ON THE
SPEECH CIRCUIT! LOL )
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
( FACE IT AL, THERE ISN'T THE SLIGHTEST BREEZE BLOWING THROUGH THE WINDMILL OF YOUR MIND! )
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from
overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
( WELL THAT MUST EXPLAIN WHY THE ENTIRE CONTINENT IS SURROUNDED BY WATER, HUH, SPARKY!? )
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a
change in your circumstances."
--Dept. of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
( ONLY PERSON THAT POSSIBLY HAD A CHANGE OF CIRCUMSTANCE LIKE THAT WAS ELVIS PRESLEY! )Incidently, Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa were last reported working graveyard shifts near the Prudhoe Bay Oilfields in Alaska.
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
( INTERESTING, MARK! AS CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION, YOU SEEM TO LACK ONE OF THE BASIC REQUIREMENTS OF YOUR PROFESSION, SIR! AND THAT IS THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WELL! LOL )
Harleeman1030@aol.com
Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
!!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
Comments
Eric S. Williams
Printed on an American Airlines packet
(These guys are maintaining that jet you are now in at 38,000 feet)
Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
Harleeman1030@aol.com
Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
!!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
Eric S. Williams
Edited by - E.Williams on 08/21/2002 04:22:07
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Rugster
Toujours Pret
Harleeman1030@aol.com
Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
!!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!