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A few jokes
savage170
Member Posts: 37,569 ✭✭✭✭
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping.
He decided to go fishing so he took her with him.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it.
Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.....
__________________________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me , do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a really good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
______________________________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.
When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded, "Come on, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
He decided to go fishing so he took her with him.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it.
Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.....
__________________________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me , do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a really good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
______________________________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang.
He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.
When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
"Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded, "Come on, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
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