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Bad joke
babun
Member Posts: 11,038 ✭✭✭
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on
> her
> nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.
>
> Is this your husband? he nervously asks.
>
> No silly." she replies, snuggling up to him.
>
> Your boyfriend, then? he continues.
>
> No, not at all, she says, nibbling away at his ear.
>
> Is it your dad or your brother? he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
>
> No, no, no! Your so hot when you're jealous! she answers.
>
> Well, who the hell is he then? he demands.
>
> That's me before the surgery.
>[:0]
> her
> nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.
>
> Is this your husband? he nervously asks.
>
> No silly." she replies, snuggling up to him.
>
> Your boyfriend, then? he continues.
>
> No, not at all, she says, nibbling away at his ear.
>
> Is it your dad or your brother? he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
>
> No, no, no! Your so hot when you're jealous! she answers.
>
> Well, who the hell is he then? he demands.
>
> That's me before the surgery.
>[:0]
Comments
The doctor said recent scientific developments meant there was a chance, and he gave them a jar and asked them to return with a semen sample.
The following day they went back to the doctor's with an empty jar. The husband was most apologetic. He told the doctor: "I tried my right hand, I tried my left hand. My wife tried her right hand, my wife tried her left hand. She took her teeth out and used her mouth...................... but we still couldn't get the lid off the jar.
The first fly farts
The second fly turns and says " Do you mind, I am trying to eat here."
One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition. "I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me five million dollars and ask one question." The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.
The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a red pigeon. The red pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Texas sky. All the pigeons in Houston saw the red pigeon. They gathered up behind the red pigeon. The Houston pigeons followed the red pigeon as she flew eastward out of the city.
The next day the red pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall. The Mayor was very impressed. He thought the man and the red pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Houston of the plague of pigeons.
Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 5 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 5 million just to get to ask ONE question.
The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his question.
The mayor asked: "Do you have any red Mexicans?" [:(]
a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
Lt.RRG
"Go over,go under,go around,or go through.But never give up."
Appealing.
An old man went to the Doctor for an examination. The Dr. tells him to take his shirt off. The Dr. examines him and says"Sir you have bite marks on your neck , back and chest. Have you been abused?"
The old man said."YES.....................and it was wonderful!"