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Kids are the parents.

ccasey612ccasey612 Member Posts: 901 ✭✭✭✭
edited September 2002 in General Discussion
I got into a debate with my wife a little while ago about kids being a product of their parents. I think that if a kid grows up to be a "bad type of person" then their parents just did not do something right. Any input?

If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
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Comments

  • NighthawkNighthawk Member Posts: 12,022 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I agree in some case's but by far not all.I have seen it go both ways sorry Parents raise,or children raise themselves and turn into good people.Ive seen outstanding Parents raise children that grew up and made bad choices.Im not yet a parent,but I see this everyday.Anyone can have children,but it has to be a hard job to be a Parent.Dont you just hate those one sided debates.

    Best!!

    Rugster


    Toujours Pret
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    I disagree completely with that line of reasoning ccasey.... Rugster is completely right on it... The best parents in the world can have the worst kids..and vice versa....
    A lot of it depends on the kids choice of friends... sometimes things happen which a person has no control over...
    If you talk to kids about the home life and parenting they had, you will find most had loving parents, caring... who were concerned and always there for the kids..The reason they say they are "bad"... "I screwed up, got into the wrong crowd, wanted to see what it was like"...
    So instead of falsely blaming parents, put the blame where it should be...


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,499 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The simple truth is some children no matter how good of a home they come from still end up in trouble or have difficulties as adults. I think that as a parent, my job is to provide my children with love and a healthy environment. My child may choose the wrong path inspite of that. JMHO


    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
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  • ccasey612ccasey612 Member Posts: 901 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You all have good points. I just fell as a parent there is something you can do to keep your kids for straying into the life of a dead beat.

    If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
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  • The firearms consultantThe firearms consultant Member Posts: 716 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Children are an extention of their parents. Children make bad choices because of the influence of their parents' bad choices. Granted, its more complicated than that, but thats where it starts. part-time parents in a full-time world. Just a thought.
    John

    I might not always tell you the truth, but I will never lie to you!
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  • punchiepunchie Member Posts: 2,792 ✭
    edited November -1
    Don't even get me started on horror stories about raising my children. I have been thru most of them. You try to nurture, guide and set good examples for your children to follow but THEY are the ones who make the decisions. As they have grown older they have been returning to the values that they were raised in.

    AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
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  • The firearms consultantThe firearms consultant Member Posts: 716 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    One thing I have come to realize, you know everything there is to know about raising kids until you have your own.
    John

    I might not always tell you the truth, but I will never lie to you!
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    Firearms consultant...
    Because of parents bad choices, kids make bad choices....
    so in essence you are saying, its because of the parents choices that the kids turn to drugs? Even if the parents have never smoked, drank, but only pointed out all the harm in drugs, been a supportive loving parent, its still the parents fault?
    How bout the parent that teaches the kids about sex, instills proper values, good judgement, answers the questions honestly and openly...takes the kids to church...etc.. its still the parents fault because the kids had sex and got someone pregnant or ended up pregnant?..
    Strange how the parent can do all the right things, but the kids still make the wrong decisions and the parents get the blame...Whatever happened to taking responsibility for your own actions?..


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • mkirklandmkirkland Member Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I know I am going to get hate mail over this but it is America so here it goes-- Kids are a direct result of parenting!! Just because you raise your kid with love doesn't mean squat. What about discipline. What about RESPECT! Parents today think they have to be their kids friends. What a load of crap! NEWS FLASH- Time outs don't work! Sending your kid to day care instead of having a stay at home parent isn't good child care. People think that our government, schools, day care should raise our kids, and when these peoples kids grow up and kill 30 of their classmates its the music, bullies, teachers, friends fault. Again a load of crap! Its the fault of the parents that things like this happen.

    OK start the hate mail
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  • The firearms consultantThe firearms consultant Member Posts: 716 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BR
    You don't just set them and forget them, you take part in their life. You stay tuned to what their doing , who they hang with. There are no guaranties in life. I'm not saying the things you say can't happen. If parents are "dialed in" to what their kids are up to it minimizes the possibility. If you ask my kids they will tell you I'm not perfect, but I'm there for them.
    John

    I might not always tell you the truth, but I will never lie to you!
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    What I am saying is.. you can do all the right things.. say all the right things.. be there for them till you die if you want... and some kids will still make bad decisions....



    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,499 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When I stated that kids need love and a healthy enviroment, that includes teaching them about respect for authority and others. It also includes instilling a love of God, Family, Country etc. I am doing those things with my sons.

    IF Parents are not involved in the process of raising their kids and
    are living lifestyles that harm or influence the child negatively, then yes there is a much greater likelyhood that the Child will end up experiencing difficulties. But that is not 100% true.

    I work with families that are all a bunch of deliquents. There are others where the parents are uninvolved and in trouble where the kids have turned out fine in spite of the parents. "Good" families that have well adjusted children with one exception.

    This is one of those things where you can't use such a wide brush to cover everyone. JMHO



    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
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  • dads-freeholddads-freehold Member Posts: 1,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    greetins, god, unit, corp... respt submitted dads-freehold
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  • The firearms consultantThe firearms consultant Member Posts: 716 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BR,
    I agree that bad decisions are going to be made by kids, parents, authority. If a bad decision is made from intent, the battle is lost. If it was just a mistake through lack of experience there is a big difference. Like they say,"we learn from our mistakes". There is a reason for everything. Nothing takes place in a vacuum. I'm trying to keep this discussion as simple as I can , mainly so I can understand it.
    John

    I might not always tell you the truth, but I will never lie to you!
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  • sfettysfetty Member Posts: 349 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    There is absolutely no gaurantee that as long as the parents are loving, supportive, there for their children, in general do everything that society would consider to be model parents ( June and Ward Cleaver types ) that the child will turn out to be well adjusted law abiding, hard working model citizens. There are NO gaurantees in life.

    I do believe however, that children today are becoming more and more spoiled because of parents wanting to be their friends instead of parents. I believe todays generation is weaker and lazier than my generation. There are always exceptions. I am speaking in general terms. Their attitude is " what can I get without working for it ".
    My son is a prime example of this type of attitude. He certainly didn't learn that type of mentality from me. I have worked for everything I have gotten in life and taught that philosophy to my son. But there can be a great gulf between teaching and learning.

    As a parent, I have made my share of mistakes. But for todays youth to use that as an excuse for their own shortcomings, only reinforces my earlier statement that todays youth aren't mature enough or strong enough to accept responsibilty for their own actions. We as parents need to be a little more like parents and a little less as buddies with our kids.

    This may not go over too well with some of you, but I believe every high school grad should have to spend at least 1 year in the military before going on to College. Maybe there would be more studying done in College and less partying. Just my opinion.
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