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Nursing Home
Brth729
Member Posts: 1,231 ✭✭✭✭✭
My sister works in a nursing home in Northern Wis., and hears some good ones on occassion. She sent me these this morning.
I think I'm wearing a "wonder where they went" bra.
A woman was standing at the railing of a cruise ship hanging tightly onto her hat, so it would not blow off. A man approached her and said,
"Pardon me, but are you aware that this high wind is blowing your dress up?"
" Yes, I know, but I need both hands to hold onto my hat."
" But surely you must realize, that with this wind, your privates are being exposed."
The woman looked down, then back up, and said,"Sir, anything that might be seen down there is 83 years old. I just got this hat yesterday."
Getting older is like going to an all you can eat buffet. What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu.
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were sitting on a park bench.
E: My daughter sent me the book Sex and Marriage, and all they talk about is "mutual orgasm". "m.o." this, and "m.o." that, and on and on.
Mabel, when Ed was still alive, did you two ever have "mutual orgasm?"
Mabel thought for a long while, and finally shook her head no, and said," No, I think we had State Farm."
***I'm in the hi-fidelity first class travelling section I think I need a Leer jet***
I think I'm wearing a "wonder where they went" bra.
A woman was standing at the railing of a cruise ship hanging tightly onto her hat, so it would not blow off. A man approached her and said,
"Pardon me, but are you aware that this high wind is blowing your dress up?"
" Yes, I know, but I need both hands to hold onto my hat."
" But surely you must realize, that with this wind, your privates are being exposed."
The woman looked down, then back up, and said,"Sir, anything that might be seen down there is 83 years old. I just got this hat yesterday."
Getting older is like going to an all you can eat buffet. What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu.
Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were sitting on a park bench.
E: My daughter sent me the book Sex and Marriage, and all they talk about is "mutual orgasm". "m.o." this, and "m.o." that, and on and on.
Mabel, when Ed was still alive, did you two ever have "mutual orgasm?"
Mabel thought for a long while, and finally shook her head no, and said," No, I think we had State Farm."
***I'm in the hi-fidelity first class travelling section I think I need a Leer jet***