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Old but Still Funny
ATF
Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
Letter from a farm kid, now at Paris Island Marine Corps recruit depot:
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things.
No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys who live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march"
is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board.
Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges.
They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only
5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter, Gail [:D] [8D]
![When a worm wants to relax,does he go fishing? "And remember a wet dog doesn't fly at night" "My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be." ATF,Eagle Guns](When a worm wants to relax,does he go fishing? "And remember a wet dog doesn't fly at night" "My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be." ATF,Eagle Guns)
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 am, but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things.
No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys who live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march"
is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board.
Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges.
They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only
5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter, Gail [:D] [8D]
Comments
this week, last week, the week before and at least once a month since i joined the forum.
i really like the funnies posted by all the members here. and i realize that what is old to one hasnt been heard by another. in fact, just about every comeback to my little rant here i would probably agree with. but for the love of god, cant this joke die already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes it was cute:
this week, last week, the week before and at least once a month since i joined the forum.
i really like the funnies posted by all the members here. and i realize that what is old to one hasnt been heard by another. in fact, just about every comeback to my little rant here i would probably agree with. but for the love of god, cant this joke die already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does that mean you've read it before? [:(] [V]
Don't you guys who keep posting this same old stuff ever READ what was on the boards the week before?
Merc
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. " - Al Capone, (1899-1947)
"Tolerating things you may not necessarily like is part of being free" - Larry Flynt