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flying funnies
hawkeye6020
Member Posts: 2,517 ✭✭✭✭✭
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
placed it on top of the instrument panel,
and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before
you will."
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the
runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and
taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80
crew
got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all
by yourself?"
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
back
with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll
have
enough parts for another one."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air
Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a
B-52
that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
Attempting to
locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the
flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others"
placed it on top of the instrument panel,
and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"
The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before
you will."
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the
runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and
taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80
crew
got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all
by yourself?"
Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
back
with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll
have
enough parts for another one."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air
Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a
B-52
that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
Attempting to
locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A
concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the
flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others"
Comments
Get the job done and come home safe guys.
I rush in where others flee.