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A little Army Humor

22WRF22WRF Member Posts: 3,385
edited July 2002 in General Discussion
"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose
after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waitin for me to die
so you can come and spit on my grave."

"Not me, Sarge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never
going to stand in line again!"

I Refuse to be a VictimGrumpy old man

Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of All Those that Threaten it

Comments

  • 22WRF22WRF Member Posts: 3,385
    edited November -1
    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

    "Well," he said, "it's three weeks long."

    "What else," I asked.

    "The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said.

    "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."

    "And the third week?" I asked.

    "The third week, the fools jump."
  • jimkanejimkane Member Posts: 1,534 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    HOOAH!

    Live for Peace, prepare for War
  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Good one!

    Three men were standing at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter was waiting for them. Saint Peter asked the first man what he did in life to deserve eternal happiness. The man replied, "I was a police officer. I laid my life on the line every night in order to protect and serve my community." Saint Peter said, "Welcome to eternal bliss."

    Then Saint Peter asked the second man the same question and the second man replied, "I was a firefighter. I entered burning buildings at risk of my own life in order that others might live." Saint Peter also granted him entrance to eternal bliss."

    The third man approached Saint Peter and was asked the same question. The third man replied, "I was a Military Policeman in the United States Army. I have been deployed all over the world on peacekeeping and humanitarian missions and have also risked my own well-being to Assist, Protect, and Defend." Saint Peter's eyes lit up and he asked, "What did you say you were?" The man replied, "A Military Policeman in the United States Army." Saint Peter smiled and said, "Hey, can you guard this gate for a minute? I need to go take a...."


    Assist Protect Defend

    SSG idsman75, U.S. ARMY
  • Shootist3006Shootist3006 Member Posts: 4,171
    edited November -1
    If the Army and the Navy
    Ever look on heaven's scenes;
    They will find the streets are guarded by
    UNITED STATES MARINES.


    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
  • idsman75idsman75 Member Posts: 13,398 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Will "X" be legal up there then?
  • rscoleman88rscoleman88 Member Posts: 4,250
    edited November -1
    MARINE Muscles Are Required Intellegence Not Essential or Most Always Rides In Navy Equipment RS

    Respect those who protect us now just as you would those who died for us in the past.
  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    here is some military humor for ya, will only take less than 30 secs to download.
    http://www.pennswoods.net/~redneck1314/usmc.mp3
  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    A U.S. Army sergeant and a U.S.M.C. walk into a restroom at the same time. They both make a bee line for the urinals and relieve themselves.
    After they are finished the Marine goes to the sink and begins washing his hands.
    The Army sergeant walks to the sink, looks at himself in the mirror grins to make sure he doesn't have anything stuck to his teeth and heads for the door.
    The Marine looks at the Army sergeant kind of puzzled and asks,"Don't they teach you guys to wash your hands after you use the bathroom"?
    The Army sergeant turns and laughs and replies,"Nope, they teach us not to piss on our fingers".

    When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
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