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Computer-jokes...
HappyNanoq
Member Posts: 12,023
Is Windows a virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly Okay, Windows does that
Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so okay, Windows does that
Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk Okay, Windows does that, too
Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too
Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware Yup, that's with Windows, too
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature
So, Windows is *not* a virus
Does Bill Gates have a problem we don't know about?
1. Open a new document in Word
2.Type "Unable to follow directions" (without the quotes)
3. Highlight the entire sentence you just typed
4. Click Tools; Language; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)
Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly Okay, Windows does that
Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so okay, Windows does that
Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk Okay, Windows does that, too
Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too
Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware Yup, that's with Windows, too
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature
So, Windows is *not* a virus
Does Bill Gates have a problem we don't know about?
1. Open a new document in Word
2.Type "Unable to follow directions" (without the quotes)
3. Highlight the entire sentence you just typed
4. Click Tools; Language; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)
Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.
Comments
Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire --yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here's how it works:
BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.
The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.
Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.
A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.
BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard.
The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.
Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed.
BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.
Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once.
The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.
You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).
Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles to reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays comes posed up an my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline.
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.
Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.
cody