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Letting Go
tin22
Member Posts: 731 ✭✭✭✭
I know, I have been in this board room for a couple of times. I must say the people in this board room are lot mature then other ones, I have seen. At times I find you to be more mature and wise.
I have been in a relationship with someone for like two years. We have broke up once before and got back together, but the guy sent me home next time.He felt that I was not trying to do anything with my life. He could not stand watching it anymore, so he ended the relationship. I must admit that I had some poor luck finding work, and driving to find work, I could not do since I didn't know how. I was like in my twenty's when we moved in together, and fact that he had already had a job and a car. I didn't quiet do those things yet kind of put lot problems in are relationship. Anyway; when he sent me home the second time, I didn't know I would never come back. He had told me that he lost his job, but real deal was he wanted out. I was total depressed when this happen. I wanted things to workout, and I felt bad about the things that I did. I didn't want to let go of what we had together, and lot of reason I loved him. I guess, I thought we could work things out. I didn't unpack my suitcase, and I tried to see if we could work things out. Guys would ask me out, but my heart was still in love with him. We talked and he has moved on, and found other people. At first I just cried a lot, there was guy who saw me crying. He was older and married and worked in the Navy. He asked me what was wrong,and I told him. He said that he might have loved me from the beginning, but he didn't love me as deeply as I loved him. He said if he was a christian men then he would been there for you, and worked until you could find work. That he would have not broke up with you for something like this. That you him would talk and found ways to work things out. He give me some good advice. I still at times wake up in the morning feeling sad, because I miss him. A lot of times I feel my world is crashing down before me. There are times when I don't want to get up in the morning. My sister told me that I need to remember and tell myself; Is he lying here crying like you? Does he feel like you do? Has he looked you in the face, and actually see what he has done? Has he tried to work things out with you? All the answer are no. I never thought this would happen. I never been in a mess like this before. I was usually the one trying to look for something true. Things didn't workout, because he give up. I always thought that Love hopes for all thing, endure all things, does not look for it's own interest. I guess in some ways, he was not ready? I guess in some ways I wasn't either. I know this I loved him was willing to workout whatever it was that kept are relationship from going farther. I have to now move on, and try to heal a little. It's going to take me some time. I guess, I just wanted to talk with someone.
I have been in a relationship with someone for like two years. We have broke up once before and got back together, but the guy sent me home next time.He felt that I was not trying to do anything with my life. He could not stand watching it anymore, so he ended the relationship. I must admit that I had some poor luck finding work, and driving to find work, I could not do since I didn't know how. I was like in my twenty's when we moved in together, and fact that he had already had a job and a car. I didn't quiet do those things yet kind of put lot problems in are relationship. Anyway; when he sent me home the second time, I didn't know I would never come back. He had told me that he lost his job, but real deal was he wanted out. I was total depressed when this happen. I wanted things to workout, and I felt bad about the things that I did. I didn't want to let go of what we had together, and lot of reason I loved him. I guess, I thought we could work things out. I didn't unpack my suitcase, and I tried to see if we could work things out. Guys would ask me out, but my heart was still in love with him. We talked and he has moved on, and found other people. At first I just cried a lot, there was guy who saw me crying. He was older and married and worked in the Navy. He asked me what was wrong,and I told him. He said that he might have loved me from the beginning, but he didn't love me as deeply as I loved him. He said if he was a christian men then he would been there for you, and worked until you could find work. That he would have not broke up with you for something like this. That you him would talk and found ways to work things out. He give me some good advice. I still at times wake up in the morning feeling sad, because I miss him. A lot of times I feel my world is crashing down before me. There are times when I don't want to get up in the morning. My sister told me that I need to remember and tell myself; Is he lying here crying like you? Does he feel like you do? Has he looked you in the face, and actually see what he has done? Has he tried to work things out with you? All the answer are no. I never thought this would happen. I never been in a mess like this before. I was usually the one trying to look for something true. Things didn't workout, because he give up. I always thought that Love hopes for all thing, endure all things, does not look for it's own interest. I guess in some ways, he was not ready? I guess in some ways I wasn't either. I know this I loved him was willing to workout whatever it was that kept are relationship from going farther. I have to now move on, and try to heal a little. It's going to take me some time. I guess, I just wanted to talk with someone.
Comments
***There's a difference between living and living well!***
Why is it that we get the heartbreak first? Why don't we ever find a person who is true, and willing to be patient with you? Why do we find a person who was true to you at first, but saw some flaws in you and leave later. Not saying he didn't have right to leave the relationship. At times, I ask myself why didn't he just be patient with me. Encourage me, and help me little so that I can do the things I didn't do before I moved in with him. He knew then that I did'nt have the things he had. Then when we broke up he acts if I did everything, and that's why it didn't work. He never once said that we both just didn't help each other out. We should have talked more. Things like that. Susie thanks for advice.
NO GUTS, NO GLORY
Take the steps necessary to get to that place you want to be at. It might take a couple of months or a couple of years...but the satisfaction that you are making progress towards your goal is priceless. Don't stay home feeling sorry for yourself. Get all the crying and sobbing out of the way and move on with your life. No matter how much your heart insists on the possibility of losing your one true love, there will always be someone else...and they might be staring you straight in the face for a while before you realize it.
thats what happened to me, and now, I'm in a great relationship with a great girl and I couldn't be happier. No fights, no arguments, and sincere happiness when we are together.
Think of the ways that you did things before. The things that he liked and the ones he didn't. Remember to keep the good things, and change the bad ones. You seem like a younger person and rest assured, this wont be the last time you'll go through this. It won't kill you and will only make you a little stronger and a little wiser. You'r not alone...everyone has had their heart broken a few times...if we didn't, life wouldn't be any fun.
Alex
Rameleni1
The world lacks a thing called committment.I'm not going to preach about the ills of shacking up but if the guy really loved you in the beginning he would have asked you to marry him. Maybe it's just a lesson in life. We all learn and we all make mistakes. Sometimes it's hard to face our mistakes. I know, I've made a lot of them and wished someone would have preached at me but I was so full of pride and stuborness it would have done no good however.
There's something better ahead for you. You'll get back on the mountain top.
The person that wrote it was going thru what you are going thru now.
Experience has taught me that the pain you're experiencing now won't last forever. The time will come when it will stop hurting.
You'll never forget, but it won't hurt anymore.
You've been given a lot of good advice by people more qualified than I ever would be; but what I did when going thru a similar situation is concentate on an affirmation. That affirmation was "No More Pain".
Everytime I thought about it, I'd tell myself "No More Pain".
Eventually, it came to pass.
God bless you and good luck.
Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
IALEFI, ASLET, NRA, and proud owner of a pair of S&W revolvers.
1-Get back to school. Clean up your English and learn a marketable skill.
2-Get a drivers' licence.
3-Get a job.
4-get a car.
Then you can think about another relationship and not before you can stand on your own two feet. Being totally dependent on someone else as you are, scares a lot of men away. A serious relationship should come last in your plans.
Sympathy is not going to buy you anything. It is you who have to do
constructive things with your life or continue to be a victim.
Best of luck to you, I think things will be okay for you if you just learn to enjoy happiness by yourself for a change.
~Secret Select Society Of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets~
Will270win@nraonline.com
To address your question as to why you could not have stayed together and changed together I am going to give you an example of what is about to happen. You are each young and still in the larvae stage of life, searching for yourselves, deciding who and what you will be as you grow and change. Each of you is now cocooning, evolving, one into the military (support system) and the other home (support system) where it is safe to grow and find new things. Each of you will come out different from what you were. One will be a butterfly the other a moth. Similar to each other, but too different to be together. You could not stay together because you are each becoming different people and not the same people you each fell in love with when you first met.
My first true love was going through a divorce and was six years older than me. He had kids and a life. I was in college starting mine. He knew I had to experience life and discover who I was so we are not together. Did it break my heart? Yes. Am I happy? Yes. That was over 22 years ago and I have been happily married to one man for the last 19 years and have a college education and four beautiful children. I have traveled the world and lived in Europe for eight years. Had I stayed with the first love I would never have experienced all the wonderful things life has offered. I didn't know that then and you will not know what life has for you.
Again, I say take your time, explore the possibilities. There are no limits to who or what you can become. The only limits are the ones you set. Keep us posted as you weigh your choices. Each person here is at a different stage in their life and can offer opinions and alternatives that you may not see from your perspective.
If you attend church, let the parishners know your plight as far as not knowing how to drive. Ask if there are any there who would volunteer some free time to teach you to drive. Get involved with your community to find what is available to further your education.
good luck
***There's a difference between living and living well!***
If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
Best!!
Rugster
Toujours Pret