Random inspirational thoughts

lead

Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they really pissed me off.

Help me give 100% at work this week;
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wed.
20% on Thurs.
5% on Fri.

Remember when you are stressed, it takes 42 muscles to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your middle finger and tell them to bite me.

"Stressed", spelled backwards is desserts!

While we're on the subject;

Chocolate is a vegetable.
Chocolate comes from cocoa beans. Beans = vegetable.
Sugar is from sugar cane or suger beets. Both are vegetables.
Thus chocolate is a vegetable.
One step further, chocolate contains milk, which is a dairy product.
Thus, chocolate = health food.

There, I feel better already.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when you send in the monthly payment.

96harley

Back porch, hot day, half naked, seated in one of those cheap plastic chairs with a garden hose in my hand. This combined with an ocassional baptismal spray make things okay.

Buckshot

96Harley..I dont even want to try and imagine the scene u just described..I think it would make you go blind..its been a scorcher in this area also..you recon someone is sending a message that if thinks dont change and people dont follow the right map in the atlas of life..this will seem like mid-december compared to what't in store for them? could be but then again..."Only the Shadow Knows"

Judge Dread

AWWW A few changes and its more real.....


Give me the SENILITY to accept the things I cannot change,

Otherwise you get ulcers if you cannot......

The Cowardice to change the things I cannot accept,

You have to do it covertly in order to prevent retailatory actions..


And the stupidity to let em there to rot the bodies of the people I had to kill because they really pissed me off.

That way no one will dare to cross your pass because they will know you are a mean mother .

(Senile ,treacherous,and stupidily recklessly nasty)

DARN! Just like My DAD !!!!When he got 80 years old !!!!

All bow to him and kiss his A&& !

JD





400 million cows can't be wrong ( EAT GRASS !!! )

Nighthawk

I thought I had heard all versions,I want a Bronze engraved Plack of both of those Inspirational thoughts.

Thanks for the laugh!

Rugster