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Just a funny 4u
4GodandCountry
Member Posts: 3,968
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney was also surprised and shocked. At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench,and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney was also surprised and shocked. At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench,and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
Comments
Nil Illegitimus Carborundum
Subject: NO ARABS IN STAR TREK
The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and
walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake
hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one
question about what I have seen in America."
President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help
you, I will do."
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there
are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs." He is very
upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back,
"It's because it takes place in the future...."
anti-gunners, want my guns? come get em, if you're able.
Subject: NO ARABS IN STAR TREK
The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and
walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake
hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one
question about what I have seen in America."
President Bush says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help
you, I will do."
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there
are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs." He is very
upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back,
"It's because it takes place in the future...."
anti-gunners, want my guns? come get em, if you're able.
24 HOURS IN A DAY ,24 CANS OF BEER IN A CASE !!COINCIDENCE????
G'day .
here's one I heard.
A little girl is crying and digging a hole by her neighbors
fence.
He leans over the fence and asks; Whats the matter honey?
My goldfish died she replied.
Observing the size of the hole He says; "Now that looks
like an awful big hole to bury your goldfish in."
The little girl replies angrily; "That's cause he's in your
darn cat!!!"