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new dad needs help!!!!
fisherbear
Member Posts: 43 ✭✭
I am a 1st time father to a 6 week old princess... problem is that she has her days and nights all screwed up and the sleep deprivation is getting to us... that's why I'm on here at almost 3 A.M. writing here... 2 days ago she finally fell asleep at 7 am yesterday at 8 am... she goes a good 4-6 sometimes if very lucky 8 hours straight but, during the day... we kept her awake all except 3-4 4 hours all day to try and straighten her out but it just pissed her off as she wanted so bad to sleep all day...
anyways... we tried to let her go to sleep at 8pm... and so far nothing more than maybe 1-1.5hours of sleep... she cluster feeds like crazy at night (cries, drinks bottle put her down, wait 10 minutes, cries, change diaper and repeat over and over)
any advice for a new dad who is very sleep deprived?.... we've been taking shifts in a seperate room so one of us can get some sleep...
anyways... we tried to let her go to sleep at 8pm... and so far nothing more than maybe 1-1.5hours of sleep... she cluster feeds like crazy at night (cries, drinks bottle put her down, wait 10 minutes, cries, change diaper and repeat over and over)
any advice for a new dad who is very sleep deprived?.... we've been taking shifts in a seperate room so one of us can get some sleep...
Comments
Repeat the finger tweak until the bottle is finished. Baby will sleep several hours afterwards. Best, Joe
i'll be testing this out in may. yikes!
everybody i talk to says you don't get much sleep the first few months.
thanks for the tweak trick Marine!
At 6 weeks, she should eat about every two and one half hours (from start to start).
Wake her up during the day to feed her. At this age, she will probably fall back asleep fairly quickly after eating, but as she gets older she'll have more awake time during the day. Work towards a routine of wake, eat, play, sleep NOT wake play eat sleep. It's hard on babies to sleep on a full stomach and causes more gas etc.
At night, let her sleep if she will. If she's been fed, diapered, etc. and you know she's not in need it's okay to let her fuss for 15 or so minutes to go to sleep. Monitor her and let her fuss as long as your comfortable...it feels like forever sometimes.
Remember it's a process to change her to be on your schedule. God be with you!
The process will take several days, but will be well worth the effort.
My sweet wife pushed me out of the way and wrote that. [;)]
We taught parenting classes for a couple of years, and used the knowledge gained to raise 5 very well adjusted children.
There are many out there that will try to tell you to give them what they want when they want it, or they will be scarred for life.
You have heard those children 3 isles over in Wal-mart.
Please feel free to email us with more questions.
Just don't call me grandpa.
I will find you.[:D]
Nature's perfect food trumps anything the dairy industry can come up with.
That is, unless you believe that we can create a pretty good substitute for a human baby by lopping the ears and tail off a calf.
dreher, +1.
Nature's perfect food trumps anything the dairy industry can come up with.
That is, unless you believe that we can create a pretty good substitute for a human baby by lopping the ears and tail off a calf.
I did not mention what we fed our children.
I fully agree.
I trust the manufacturer explicitly.
When the baby takes a few sips on the formula, and drifts off, give the bottom of the feet a 'finger tweak' (similar motion as if you were flicking a booger from the end of your middle finger). After the 'tweak', the baby will resume feeding. The baby will pick up where it left off (suckling) when it is re awakened.
Repeat the finger tweak until the bottle is finished. Baby will sleep several hours afterwards. Best, Joe
Joe's absolutely right about the "tweak" - it works. Also, don't let your baby sleep too much during the day and don't pick her up every time she cries. Babies are very smart and learn very quickly that they'll get picked up and cuddled or walked around if they cry. As long as she's fed, dry, and healthy, crying is good exercise for her lungs. Sometimes, closing her door and turning up the TV is the best method and don't feel guilty about it. Like I said, babies are smarter than you think!
Most importantly, live your life normally with the usual sounds and noises. Babies quickly adapt to their environment and sleep that much deeper to compensate. People who tiptoe around and whisper because they don't want to "wake the baby" are going to have a baby who jumps and wakes up at every unusual sound.
quote:Originally posted by givette
When the baby takes a few sips on the formula, and drifts off, give the bottom of the feet a 'finger tweak' (similar motion as if you were flicking a booger from the end of your middle finger). After the 'tweak', the baby will resume feeding. The baby will pick up where it left off (suckling) when it is re awakened.
Repeat the finger tweak until the bottle is finished. Baby will sleep several hours afterwards. Best, Joe
Joe's absolutely right about the "tweak" - it works. Also, don't let your baby sleep too much during the day and don't pick her up every time she cries. Babies are very smart and learn very quickly that they'll get picked up and cuddled or walked around if they cry. As long as she's fed, dry, and healthy, crying is good exercise for her lungs. Sometimes, closing her door and turning up the TV is the best method and don't feel guilty about it. Like I said, babies are smarter than you think!
Most importantly, live your life normally with the usual sounds and noises. Babies quickly adapt to their environment and sleep that much deeper to compensate. People who tiptoe around and whisper because they don't want to "wake the baby" are going to have a baby who jumps and wakes up at every unusual sound.
I agree with Spider. We had to bottle feed. My wife couldn't nurse. Ours both slept VERY well while very young. We were VERY lucky!! Check the manual that the hospital sent home with the Baby......Oh yeah, there is NO manual!!!!! Every Baby is different for sure and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. It's o.k. for a baby to cry a bit as long as she's dry, clean, fed, and warm.
Good luck!! Don't worry, this is nothing! Wait till her teenage years!! Oh yeah, start saving for college! You already wasted 6 weeks!! It will seem like tomorrow when she's in high school!!
A nice warm bath helps--breastmilk is best but didn't work for our situation so we had to use a soy formula-similac--and it has worked just fine. Forget about the 8pm going to bed and think she will sleep til 4am at least til the 4th month. Dr. Karp explains that babies really are born immature even at 9 months.
If you don't have one get a swing-especially one that plays soothing music---also Dr. Karp has a cd with sounds that calm a baby like rain on a tin roof and sounds in the womb-believe it or not it is as loud as a vacuum cleaner inside the womb to a baby.
You can turn on a hair dryer or a vacuum cleaner to calm them as well.
Swaddling is IMMENSELY helpfull--again if you don't know how to do it properly Dr. Karp can help. It will get easier--don't forget to burp her very very well as gas will cause them to cry like a banshee.
Ask your Dr. first, but you may be able to introduce SINGLE grain rice cereal for babies(gerber makes it) mixed with her milk--it acts as a filler to help them stay full-just like when you eat oatmeal.
I'm certainly no expert--these twins were our first children but the advice I've just given you has worked very very well for us--5 1/2 hours of sleep vs 2 hours is a wonderful thing[:D]
It is too late to take my advice, but could be good for the future. Have Momma nurse. Let the baby stay in bed with her. Everytime baby starts to fuss put a boob in it's mouth. Mom goes back to sleep, baby goes back to sleep when full. The number of times I walked into our bedroom in the morning with both asleep, son with a boob in his mouth was nearly every day. I slept in the other bedroom for almost 2 years. Never got woke up once in the middle of the night. Wife wasn't tired because she wasn't always getting up. When son was in first grade he looked at me when flu season was in full swing and said I wish I would get the flu, I said why? He said I've never been sick. My wife and I thought about it. Except for some runny noses, he was right, he had never been sick. Nursing for 2 years did wonders for his health. He's 10, still doesn't get sick.
my wife does nurse the baby... but doesn't make enough milk to supply baby 100%... it's 50/50... so she is getting benefit from mom's milk... baby still gets fussy after mom's milk... half the time gets a bottle to fill her up 100% after mom feeds her... and she usually goes to sleep after bottle.. but only for a few minutes...
quote:Originally posted by dreher
It is too late to take my advice, but could be good for the future. Have Momma nurse. Let the baby stay in bed with her. Everytime baby starts to fuss put a boob in it's mouth. Mom goes back to sleep, baby goes back to sleep when full. The number of times I walked into our bedroom in the morning with both asleep, son with a boob in his mouth was nearly every day. I slept in the other bedroom for almost 2 years. Never got woke up once in the middle of the night. Wife wasn't tired because she wasn't always getting up. When son was in first grade he looked at me when flu season was in full swing and said I wish I would get the flu, I said why? He said I've never been sick. My wife and I thought about it. Except for some runny noses, he was right, he had never been sick. Nursing for 2 years did wonders for his health. He's 10, still doesn't get sick.
my wife does nurse the baby... but doesn't make enough milk to supply baby 100%... it's 50/50... so she is getting benefit from mom's milk... baby still gets fussy after mom's milk... half the time gets a bottle to fill her up 100% after mom feeds her... and she usually goes to sleep after bottle.. but only for a few minutes...
FB
My wife's mom spent many years as a post-partum nurse, with the last several years in a large hospital focusing on lactation help.
My wife would be happy to share some ideas she learned and used.
The best way to get a child to bed early is to make them up early. With an infant as young as yours this isn't that easy but will be as she ages. If you want her on a day time schedule, set a day time schedule. As she ages she will get on schedule if you do your part. I'm not saying to rob her of sleep, or starve her, just keep working to transition her to a day schedule.
Remember this as she ages, up early=to bed early and a lot less hassle at bed time.
You are bottle feeding, how hard is she working when she suckles? Every child is different. If she is working to hard to feed, she will wear out, doze, then wake up hungry in short order. Perhaps not a problem with her but something else to think about. If it is an issue a nipple or bottle change could be your answer.
More advice: take shifts so you and your wife get periods of uninterrupted sleep. Busy babies are a lot less stressful when the parents are rested. Get used to the idea you are going to get less sleep for a few more weeks or months, make a plan to deal with it. Your wife is probably missing more sleep than you, it will wear her out, so keep doing your part.
Be realistic, firm, and consistent in your expectations, routines, and discipline as the years go by and both your fatherhood and her childhood will be a positive and enjoyable experience.
Lay the baby on the bed and roll them over 3 times. Problem solved.[:D]
Good luck.
I am a 1st time father to a 6 week old princess... problem is that she has her days and nights all screwed up and the sleep deprivation is getting to us... that's why I'm on here at almost 3 A.M. writing here... 2 days ago she finally fell asleep at 7 am yesterday at 8 am... she goes a good 4-6 sometimes if very lucky 8 hours straight but, during the day... we kept her awake all except 3-4 4 hours all day to try and straighten her out but it just pissed her off as she wanted so bad to sleep all day...
anyways... we tried to let her go to sleep at 8pm... and so far nothing more than maybe 1-1.5hours of sleep... she cluster feeds like crazy at night (cries, drinks bottle put her down, wait 10 minutes, cries, change diaper and repeat over and over)
any advice for a new dad who is very sleep deprived?.... we've been taking shifts in a seperate room so one of us can get some sleep...
Oh man, I've been there. Sounds like you have it easy though.
My first: nothing would console her from 9pm to 5am for three months. My wife and I were on no sleep for three months. I was working full time, and my wife was alone with her in the day. She would get a little sleep after 5am, but we were both up all night every night for three months trying to console her.
My second: only the constant motion of bouncing her while standing would console her between 9pm and 5am. Not sitting. Somehow she knew if you sat down or tried to recline in any way. When she woke up it was hours again before you could get her to calm down. This went on for five months.
My third: she was pretty easy going, very consolable. Then she developed laryingal spasms (basically she'd spasm and stop breathing). That kept my wife awake staring at her for three months.
We stopped having kids after that.
There may be nothing that will console your kid. But you will get through it. It won't be fun.
DO NOT SHAKE THE BABY no matter how tempted you are. When you're that sleep deprived you get pretty tempted no matter how much you love your kid.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
Interesting.
I'd also recommend making sure there's plenty of noise, whether it be the radio or television playing while the child sleeps. They will learn to sleep soundly.
It is too late to take my advice, but could be good for the future. Have Momma nurse. Let the baby stay in bed with her. Everytime baby starts to fuss put a boob in it's mouth. Mom goes back to sleep, baby goes back to sleep when full. The number of times I walked into our bedroom in the morning with both asleep, son with a boob in his mouth was nearly every day. I slept in the other bedroom for almost 2 years. Never got woke up once in the middle of the night. Wife wasn't tired because she wasn't always getting up. When son was in first grade he looked at me when flu season was in full swing and said I wish I would get the flu, I said why? He said I've never been sick. My wife and I thought about it. Except for some runny noses, he was right, he had never been sick. Nursing for 2 years did wonders for his health. He's 10, still doesn't get sick.
+1
Second thing to check is if the she appears gassy she will fill as if she is full and stop drinking before she has enough. Burp her after about every two ounces. This will keep air out and more formula in while keeping her awake long enough to fill up.
How much does she weigh? My youngest, the 14 year old, was consuming almost 8 ounces per feeding from the beginning. He weighed over 9 lbs. at birth.
Do you have pacifiers (NUK again). When she gets restless at night and stirs as if she is going to wake up. Slip the NUK pacifier into her mouth which should ease her back to sleep. She will learn to reach for it while sleeping if it slips out.
And yes, a little soothing music playing in the background at night (constantly) should lessen sudden sounds that might awaken her.
With #1 we would take a long drive in the evening to get her to sleep when rocking her didn't do the trick.
Full bottle, warm bath, snuggled into night clothes, rock her to sleep with the pacifier in her mouth and then tuck her in might set a schedule/routine.
Hope some of this helps. We had four and have survived thus far....[:D]
Symptoms of the lactose intolerance for us were she was very cranky, gassy all the time, and would have forceful spit-ups during burping.
When you burp her, where are you patting her back and what position are you holding her in?
The hubby would place all four of our little'uns on his knee in a sitting position and use two fingers to pat them on their lower back. He held their heads up with his hand under their chins, he has big hands. You can also lay her across your lap and pat her back, or over your shoulder whichever is more comfortable and seems to get the most burps out.
Remember to pat her in the lower back, not her upper back. You want to get the gas out of her stomach and intestines, not the air out of her lungs..[:I]
It's not going to hurt the baby to let her cry...as a matter of fact, it will help her...and you...and your parenting. If the child is not hungry or in pain, let them cry themselves to sleep. I believe it's important for them to learn that they are not going to get whatever it is that they want by crying/whining...and it's important that they learn this from a very early age.
I'd also recommend making sure there's plenty of noise, whether it be the radio or television playing while the child sleeps. They will learn to sleep soundly.
Sorry Eric, I could not disagree more with this advice. When a child that age cries, it is because they need something, not because they are manipulating them. They should not be allowed to cry themselves asleep at 6 weeks.
I also disagree with the something playing while they sleep. You should not do anything special to make them sleep. Whatever is, is.
Both our kids slept through the night at 7-8 weeks and both now take less than 3 minutes from when bedtime is announced to when they are both in bed and we NEVER have any problems with them after they area asleep. They are 2 and 5.
Different things for different babies. Best burping for me was kid sitting on my right leg, facing center, with chest leaned against my open left hand, could get bubbles out easily by patting/ rubbing back with right hand (bubbles clog the fuel storage system)
This will pass- but I DO have bad news. Think you have trouble sleeping now? Wait 14-16 years, and let me know how that is working for ya. [:p]
Thank God there IS life after teenagers.......
quote:Originally posted by MR_Perfect
quote:Originally posted by fisherbear
I am a 1st time father to a 6 week old princess... problem is that she has her days and nights all screwed up and the sleep deprivation is getting to us... that's why I'm on here at almost 3 A.M. writing here... 2 days ago she finally fell asleep at 7 am yesterday at 8 am... she goes a good 4-6 sometimes if very lucky 8 hours straight but, during the day... we kept her awake all except 3-4 4 hours all day to try and straighten her out but it just pissed her off as she wanted so bad to sleep all day...
anyways... we tried to let her go to sleep at 8pm... and so far nothing more than maybe 1-1.5hours of sleep... she cluster feeds like crazy at night (cries, drinks bottle put her down, wait 10 minutes, cries, change diaper and repeat over and over)
any advice for a new dad who is very sleep deprived?.... we've been taking shifts in a seperate room so one of us can get some sleep...
Oh man, I've been there. Sounds like you have it easy though.
My first: nothing would console her from 9pm to 5am for three months. My wife and I were on no sleep for three months. I was working full time, and my wife was alone with her in the day. She would get a little sleep after 5am, but we were both up all night every night for three months trying to console her.
My second: only the constant motion of bouncing her while standing would console her between 9pm and 5am. Not sitting. Somehow she knew if you sat down or tried to recline in any way. When she woke up it was hours again before you could get her to calm down. This went on for five months.
My third: she was pretty easy going, very consolable. Then she developed laryingal spasms (basically she'd spasm and stop breathing). That kept my wife awake staring at her for three months.
We stopped having kids after that.
There may be nothing that will console your kid. But you will get through it. It won't be fun.
DO NOT SHAKE THE BABY no matter how tempted you are. When you're that sleep deprived you get pretty tempted no matter how much you love your kid.
2. The kid will do what the kid will do. Do what the kid wants. At 6 weeks, all they want is food, clean diapers, sleep, and to be held. Come to think of it, at middle age, that's all I want as well....
3. Get a DVR, and record things to watch at night.
4. My son HATED the crib. Only slept in the swing. Go figure....