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A Little Humor before the election
Lago
Member Posts: 464 ✭✭✭
A little bit of humor in these last few days before the elections...
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>While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
>
>And she votes
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>I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
>7 days a week". He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh.. Pacific."
>
>And he votes
>
>
>So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
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>And she votes
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>My brother has a lifesaving tool in his car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if he gets trapped. He keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.
>
>And he votes
>
>
>I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had
>to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
>
>And she votes
>
>
>
>My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first
>sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this,the clerk responded, "I don't
>think they tax the turkey."
>
>And he votes
>
>
>
>I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were
>trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," She asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
>
>And she votes
>
>
>My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
>discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
>
>And he votes
>
>
>While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
>
>And she votes
>
>
>I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
>7 days a week". He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh.. Pacific."
>
>And he votes
>
>
>So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
>
>And she votes
>
>
>My brother has a lifesaving tool in his car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if he gets trapped. He keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.
>
>And he votes
>
>
>I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had
>to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
>
>And she votes
>
>
>
>My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first
>sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this,the clerk responded, "I don't
>think they tax the turkey."
>
>And he votes
>
>
>
>I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were
>trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," She asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
>
>And she votes
>
>
>My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
>discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
>
>And he votes
Comments
Good stories though..
Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.