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HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL......
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Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
How To Give A Cat A Pill.....
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby position, with right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in the left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force \ mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check record for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie the little meanie's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby position, with right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in the left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force \ mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check record for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie the little meanie's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
Comments
Can't imagine giving a cat a pill.
Unless it was from a .22 [;)]
You dont want to shoot cats in Florida, it can be a Felony....[:0]
Glad that I dont live there then.[;)]
I dont like other peoples dogs or any dog for that matter, but I dont go around shooting them..
No I dont go to town to shoot family cats.
What really gets me is mowing the lawn and hit a big pile of some dogs crap.. At least a cat covers theirs..[:0][;)]
BTW. for dogs they also have those dog treats where the middle is hollow for a pill
hahaha, if the pill is small enough I just imbed it in a cat treat...they don't know what's going on [:D]
BTW. for dogs they also have those dog treats where the middle is hollow for a pill
Right and keep a real eye on them cause most times they are spitting out the pill.
In several states it is against the law to shoot cats, feral or not. In florda cats have the right to roam, Dogs have a leash law. If people would take care of all their pets there wouldnt be a problem.. We have packs of wild dogs down here, people move out and just abandon them.
These wild barn cats have never been fed or touched by human hands. They serve a great purpose controlling pigeons and mice. But they do over populate pretty quickly. I try to target the huge noisy tom cats. 4-5 cats in the barn is plenty. Any more than that and it's kind of scary just walking inside.
I love having them around.
House cats are a different story,
What is the average life span of a house cat? ... The official average lifespan of a cat in the US is 13-14 years old at this time. ...
I've never found a dead one.
SPCA don't want anymore,told me they were going to start charging if I brought more in.
Even had a couple neutered,vaccinated,and turned them back loose.
One a huge one eared tom that looked like a shorthaired smoke grey Maine *,weighed 26# at the vet. [:0]
He's still around,I see him laying on the porch some mornings,don't like me a bit. [:D]
Now what?
Can't shoot em: momma will freak.
Don't have the heart to poison em.
Hate to watch them starve: but I ain't going to feed em.
Maybe I should turn a couple of foxes loose?
Classic I'll bet if you set out a feeder in an out of the way place and film it you'll find you've got a lot more cats than you think.
(the ones I caught came off of a 50'x100' overgrown lot next to me.)
Florida's overrun with feral cats.
Allen
One will tear me to shredds just looking like I'm going to do something.
There are quite a few feral cats out in this country. Mostly over populated barn cats.
No I dont go to town to shoot family cats.
How the Hell do you know if they belong to anyone or not?
Some folks give there animals there fredom and when they come home they are loved all the same. I am afraid if some SOB shot any of my cats, I may go to prison. So be glad you don't live close to me.
quote:Originally posted by 7RiverMan7
There are quite a few feral cats out in this country. Mostly over populated barn cats.
No I dont go to town to shoot family cats.
How the Hell do you know if they belong to anyone or not?
Some folks give there animals there fredom and when they come home they are loved all the same. I am afraid if some SOB shot any of my cats, I may go to prison. So be glad you don't live close to me.
You need to keep your cats on your property! On my property,. I can do tho them as I see fit. I plug em with my BB gun. Doesn't kill em, but they learn real quick to not dig up my garden or my flowers, on MY property the I worked hard to grow.
I WILL NOT comment on the shooting of stray cats and or dogs.
the last time I commented on that subject I got into an arguement with a forum mod (not here) and was banned FOR LIFE!!
Our cat got a tapeworm, and the vet prescribed the pill and said we had the option of taking it home to give to her. I said "Heck no! That's what I'm paying you for..."
quote:Originally posted by 7RiverMan7
There are quite a few feral cats out in this country. Mostly over populated barn cats.
No I dont go to town to shoot family cats.
How the Hell do you know if they belong to anyone or not?
Some folks give there animals there fredom and when they come home they are loved all the same. I am afraid if some SOB shot any of my cats, I may go to prison. So be glad you don't live close to me.
If you lived 15 miles from town and your nearest neighbor is 2 miles and you knew they didnt have cats, what would you do?
I have no problem shooting dogs or cats that are causing an issue on my property. If my dogs were chasing somebodies cattle I would hope they would take care of the problem.
The big toms I run into usually have had their ears froze off, half a tail and are tougher than boot leather. No collars, no owners and no problem. A .22 solves my problem and a shovel takes care of the stink.
I'm glad I dont have a neighbor like you, SWAT 50.
2: Get another cat that doesn't need a pill.
Simple.