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New Computer Viruses
greeker375
Member Posts: 3,644
How many of you are still being affected by these viruses? I'm on broadband cable, but, after 8-9am and until 10-11 pm my machine is slow-slow-slow!
For any computer geeks out there is there a way to circumvent the effects of the "sobig" or whatever they call it?
[http://www.calap.com/gif/portrait.gif]
For any computer geeks out there is there a way to circumvent the effects of the "sobig" or whatever they call it?
[http://www.calap.com/gif/portrait.gif]
![http://www.calap.com/gif/portrait.gif]](https://forums.gunbroker.com/home/leaving?allowTrusted=1&target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.calap.com%2Fgif%2Fportrait.gif%5D){kind=link}
Comments
re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse
around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack ...once if by
LAN, twice if by C:>
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but
instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component of your system, just
before the whole thing quits.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident.
It'll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child
process without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer,
ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your
diagnostic software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of
people really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds
of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCS infected will lose 38
percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its
own motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self
destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables,
power supply and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot
up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus
has gone before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing
wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on
your PC and erases them in "self defense".
BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO AND FIREARMS VIRUS: Attempts to
secretly go after all your files, but not without first unintentionally letting you know about it by calling a local news station.
RUSH LIMBAUGH VIRUS: Puts up lots of incoherent meaningless
messages on your screen. Also takes up a lot of disk space.
MICROSOFT WINDOWS VIRUS: Turns your OS into a cumbersome
unwieldy jumble of nonsensical buttons, menus and commands and also degrades the performance of your PC. (Whoops,that's not a virus. Never mind.)
O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but
you just can't prove it.
BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to be
much of a threat.
STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files are reported as the same size.
PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but it complains loudly
about foreign software.
HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory.
It's not what you know that gets you in trouble, it's what you know that just ain't so!
Resident Pyrrhonist
Don't open email attachments you aren't sure of.
Put a router/firewall between your computer and your cable modem, turn off all WAN requests.
I have not been hit by any of these viri yet (knocking on wood), and I have 3 computers that are Internet accessible. One of them is a web/email server so it has to accept WAN requests.
....................
Old? First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to pull your zipper up; then you forget to pull your zipper down.