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Just for Juju (Posted before, but humorous)
powdersmoke
Member Posts: 3,241
Understanding Engineers Take One ) Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my
own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you
want.'" The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
( Understanding Engineers - Take Two ) To the optimist, the glass is half
full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the
glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Three ) A pastor, a doctor, and an
engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for
fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen
such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hi, George! Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The pastor
said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Four ) What is the difference between
mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build
weapons and civil engineers build targets.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Five ) The graduate with a science degree
asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much
will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
with that?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Six ) Three engineering students were
gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One
said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another
said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it
had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Seven ) Normal people believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Eight ) An engineer was crossing a road
one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in
his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The
engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to
the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm
an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
When you wrestle a 'gator, there ain't no good end!!
"Molon Labe!" Spartan General-King Leonidas
across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my
own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you
want.'" The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
( Understanding Engineers - Take Two ) To the optimist, the glass is half
full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the
glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Three ) A pastor, a doctor, and an
engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for
fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen
such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hi, George! Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The pastor
said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Four ) What is the difference between
mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build
weapons and civil engineers build targets.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Five ) The graduate with a science degree
asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much
will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
with that?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Six ) Three engineering students were
gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One
said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another
said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it
had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
( Understanding Engineers - Take Seven ) Normal people believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
( Understanding Engineers - Take Eight ) An engineer was crossing a road
one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in
his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The
engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to
the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you
I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm
an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
When you wrestle a 'gator, there ain't no good end!!
"Molon Labe!" Spartan General-King Leonidas
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