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5 Levels of a Hangover
rldowns3
Member Posts: 6,096
5 Levels of a Hangover [:D]
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five dumps you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your *. Death sounds pretty good about right now...
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five dumps you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your *. Death sounds pretty good about right now...
Comments
"Right is Right, even is everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it"
NSDQ!
"Many free countries have lost their liberty, and ours may lose hers; but if she shall, be it my proudest plume, not that I was the last to desert; but that I never deserted her." -President Abraham Lincoln
The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion.
Lol[:D][:D]. How true. Waffle house is always there for you[;)][:D][:p]
Frog
GO NAVY, BEAT ARMY
AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY
Thats me half the time [:D][:D][:D]
"If you aim at nothing,
you will be sure to hit it"
[img][/img]
"Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, not liberty to purchase power."
Benjamin Franklin, 1785
SEMPER FI
We're men. Its our God given right to watch sports and smut" - Al Bundy
We're men. Its our God given right to watch sports and smut" - Al Bundy
The gene pool needs chlorine.
A dead intruder cannot testify against you in a court of law!
If they're still moving, put another round in them!
Get the job done and come home safe guys.
I rush in where others flee.
JOIN PETA! (PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS) I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to have a salad and spring water!
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
I've played lots of gigs, and sometimes my exuberance would bubble forth in zany, crazy, fun, and just plain profound outpourings of thought and music.
We're men. Its our God given right to watch sports and smut" - Al Bundy
1. Stumblin
2. Stumblin Bumblin
3.Stumblin, bumblin barfin in the wind.
4.Stumblin bumblin barfin in the wind camode hugging DRUNK.
[xx(][xx(]
After a few hangovers and one lasting FOUR days, I figured it weren't
worth it. Haven't had a drink since. (1967)
You can't miss fast enough.
Not fun.
www.awbansunset.com
I almost remember those days, but it was Denny's, not the Waffle House.
The gene pool needs chlorine.
Yep- Dennys Grand-Slam! Oh Lord.....
Love them Pre-64's!!!!-Bob
My belly sticks out further than my Dickie Do!![:0][^]
LIFES MOSTLY SCARS AND SOUVENIR'S - Max Stalling
To Ride, shoot straight,and speak the truth
This was the Ancient law of Youth
Old times are past, old times are done:
But the Law runs true, O little son!
The only hangover I have now a days is the dreaded dickie do disease!
My belly sticks out further than my Dickie Do!![:0][^]
LIFES MOSTLY SCARS AND SOUVENIR'S - Max Stalling
To Ride, shoot straight,and speak the truth
This was the Ancient law of Youth
Old times are past, old times are done:
But the Law runs true, O little son!
JOIN PETA! (PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS) I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to have a salad and spring water!
Big Daddy my heros have always been cowboys,they still are it seems