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TEXAS
FrOg
Member Posts: 2,034 ✭✭✭✭✭
Will be there.
Comments
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired of him.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
***********************
Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Texas Tech was overheard saying, "If the end of the world comes, I hope to be in West Texas. Everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world!"
***********************
The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young rancher answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
************************
NEWS FLASH! - Abilene, Texas
West Texas worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M University students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in College Station. Texas search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
*************************
A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-20. The trooper asked, "You got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
Love the sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
Pearland, Texas 77581
Orange, Texas 77630
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Cleveland, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Pittsburg , Texas 75686
Newark , Texas 76071
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
Pasadena, Texas 77506
Columbus, Texas 78934
Just Texas
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530
Feel like traveling outside the country?
Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Dublin , Texas 76446
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Italy, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
Palestine, Texas 75801
No need to travel to Washington DC
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth , Texas 79031
We have a city named after our state:
Texas City , Texas 77590
Exhausted?
Energy , Texas 76452
Cold?
Blanket , Texas 76432
Winters, Texas 79567
Like to read about History?
Santa Anna , Texas 76878
Goliad , Texas 77963
Alamo , Texas 78516
Gun Barrel City , Texas 75156
Robert Lee , Texas 76945
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
Want to go into outer space?
Venus , Texas 76084
Mars , Texas 79062
You guessed it. It's on the state line.
Texline , Texas 79087
For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560
Other city names in Texas, to make you smile......
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079
The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662
And our favorites...
Cut and Shoot,Texas 77303
Gun Barrel City , Texas 75147
Ding Dong, Texas
West, Texas (it's in Central Texas)
And, of course,
Mule Shoe , Texas 79347
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80, and everybody's passing you, you may live in Houston, Texas;
If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Brownsville, Texas;
If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely have lived in Texas.
Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas :
1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742miles
2. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles
3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.
5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike - 2008!
6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston , Texas .
7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America .
8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
10. The worst natural disaster in US history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island
11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was " Houston ,"
but the Space Center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.
12. The King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .
13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a US rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.
14. Texas is the only state to enter the US by TREATY,
(known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union )
instead of by annexation.
This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the US Flag,
and Texas may choose to divide into 5 states.
15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.
18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia, and Austin .
19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the US which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington , DC (by 7 feet).
20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington Monument .
21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning "friends". Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .
22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo. An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies.
They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.
23. The first domed stadium in the US was the Astrodome in Houston .
Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Farlie , Texas :
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) * yourself to church meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
Y'all * all that?
Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder
and Your hand over my mouth.
!
http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/04/05/3864940/volunteers-outnumber-cleanup-jobs.html
http://texasbbqforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=17558
Forget Rednecks, here's what Jeff Foxworthy might say about folks from Texas:
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas.
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas.
If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas.
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Texas friends & others, you definitely live in Texas.
Need a vacation? Here is a list of actual places to travel to in Texas:
Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise,Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530
Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land , Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
And top it off with:
SweeWar on Terrorer, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Turkey, Texas 79261
London , Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791
We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031
And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590
Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452
Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas 79567
Like to read about History?
Santa Ana, Texas 76878
Goliad, Texas 77963
Alamo, Texas 78516
Gun Barrel City, Texas 75147
Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670
Men are from Mars, woman are from
Venus, Texas 76084
You guessed it... it's on the state line...
Texline, Texas 79087
For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560
Other city names in Texas, to make you smile.....
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079
The Anti-Al Gore City:
Kilgore, Texas 75662
Whoops, left out:
Muleshoe, Texas 79347
Cut and Shoot, Texas 77303
Buda, Texas 78610
and don't forget......
Farewell, Texas 79325
And, of course, there is a place in Texas that is......
KNOTT, TEXAS 79748
Me and my brother have devised a plan to buy a house together, one with lots ofland for shooting, and 4 wheelin, and then sell it after a couple years and make a little profit. Would a house like this appreciate in 5-10 years enough to make a small profit?
"when you see the enemy, you attack and shoot him down, anything less is just bull shi*
Baron Von Richthofen (RED BARON)
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you
questions like, "Do you have any cows?" "Do you have
horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?" They all
want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched
Dallas.
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at
Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with
the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River
and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as
anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere
in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's
Texas.
Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him
picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it
is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other
state? You might get it maybe after a second or two,
but who else would? And even if you do, does it
ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock
the Good Lord put us on, there is a person who wishes
just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on
a horse or ride in a pickup. There is some bit of
Texas in everyone. Did you ever hear anyone in a
bar go, "Wow...so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me
about it?"
Do you know why? Because there's no place like Texas.
Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in
church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals,
fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out
and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and
die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kid s to schools named William B. Travis
and James Bowie and Crockett and do you know why?
Because those men saw a line in the sand and they
decided to cross it and be heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the
Spirit of Texas.
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San
Jacinto. Texas is Juneteenth and Texas Independence
Day. Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the
Davy Crockett National Forest. Texas
is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend. Texas is
the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the
Texas Hill Country.
Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast
of South Texas and Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in
Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake
Fork. Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not
even Mexico. Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass
Hall, and the Astrodome. Texas is
larger-than-life legends like Willie Nelson, Buddy
Holly, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris
Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric
Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Denton
Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Sam Rayburn, George
Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George W. Bush.
Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas
Instruments and Compaq. Texas is NASA.
Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.
Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full
of deer. Texas is a place where cities shut down to
watch the local High School Football game on
Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night
Football, and NIOSA River Parade in San Antonio.
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers,
mountains and prairies,and modern cities. If it isn't
in Texas, you don't need it. No one does anything bigger or
better than it's&n bsp; done in Texas.
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S.
that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S.
flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars
and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine and
your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and
Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview at 20 feet, the
Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet.
Do you know why?
Because we place being a Texan as high as being an
American down here. (it is the only state that was a republic before it
became a state, that is the reason I was taught).
Our capitol is the only one in the country that is
taller than the capitol building in Washington, D.C.
and we can divide our state into five states if we
want to! We included these things as part of
the deal when we came on. That's the best part right
there.
PS I didn't write this, just passin it on to all yall out there
Frog
GO NAVY, BEAT ARMY
Measure twice, cut once.
Empty the clip!
Dustin K. Griffin
[;)][;)]barto
I didn't do it and I got witnesses!!
but Texas is more than just geography! [^]
It's a whole other country![:D][:D][:D]
IT'S WHAT PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEMSELVES THAT MAKES THEM AFRAID.
Scrappy Doo sleeps with the fishes.
Frog
The event I love most about Texas is thier state fair. It is when we go to Dallas and put it too the shorthorns.[:D]
"SOCIETY PREPARES THE CRIME, THE CRIMINAL COMMITS IT"