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Fantasy Speech
greeker375
Member Posts: 3,644
WOULD IT NOT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE OLE' TV TONIGHT AND SEE G.W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH..... My fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend
any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be
complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during
the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My
press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government
leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try
France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David
is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables, too.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for
all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your
precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.
A special note to our neighbors.
Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an
attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the
United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty---starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
SEPARATISM.
I answer them be saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life
around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time
to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
"the difference between the almost right word and the right word is like the difference between a lightning bug and a lightning bolt" - Mark Twain.
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend
any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be
complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during
the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My
press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government
leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try
France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David
is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables, too.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for
all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your
precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.
A special note to our neighbors.
Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an
attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the
United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty---starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
SEPARATISM.
I answer them be saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life
around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time
to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
"the difference between the almost right word and the right word is like the difference between a lightning bug and a lightning bolt" - Mark Twain.
Comments
But wouldnt it open some eyes.
Bolt
PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIREPOWER
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.
- General George Patton Jr
Greg
Former
USMC
ANGLICO
"There is nothing lower than the human race - except the French." (Mark Twain)
Other than that....
HELL YEAH!!!!!
"If they won't give us good terms, come back and we'll fight it out."
-- Gen. James Longstreet