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Addicted to coffee

alledanalledan Member Posts: 19,541
edited July 2005 in General Discussion
You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

Instant coffee takes too long.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You help your dog chase its tail.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

You ski uphill.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

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Comments

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    jdyerjdyer Member Posts: 795 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Or, if you drink it cold or day old, and you can walk upside down on the ceiling at work.
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    dolfandolfan Member Posts: 4,159
    edited November -1
    [:D] and so true.

    Case in point: I'm going on a road trip to Disney World, will be hitting the road at 5:00am TODAY!
    It is now 12:20am EST, and I'm still up. Should have passed on that last cup of coffee.
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    65gto38965gto389 Member Posts: 2,850 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Or you're so jittery that home depot hired you on in the paint department.









    " Those who give up a little freedom for temporary security, deserve neither freedom nor security "
    - Benjamin Franklin
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    andy12390andy12390 Member Posts: 486 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    sounds more like a crack head

    Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. - Don Corleone
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