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How do you defend yourself...
Spartacus
Member Posts: 14,415
against a person or group that is verbally attacking you and hitting way below the belt?
I could respond in kind, and drag out some of their dirty laundry (they have much more than i do) but then I would be stooping to their level.
But to ignore them might make some people think the statements are true.
it's that old belief that if you argue too much it's because you have something to hide.
I've discussed it with my lawyer who wants to sue them for slander (or some such thing) but I'm not ready to spend alot of money in leagal fees.
there's some level heads here, what would you do?
thanks
tom
I could respond in kind, and drag out some of their dirty laundry (they have much more than i do) but then I would be stooping to their level.
But to ignore them might make some people think the statements are true.
it's that old belief that if you argue too much it's because you have something to hide.
I've discussed it with my lawyer who wants to sue them for slander (or some such thing) but I'm not ready to spend alot of money in leagal fees.
there's some level heads here, what would you do?
thanks
tom
Comments
I'm facing something similar at work. I know where you're coming from. I have no answers since I'm not even able to help myself at this moment.
Other than that, .308s can solve most issues.
not. If they aren't a true friend, who cares. Sticks and stones...
let it go. Don't stoop to their level. Just ignore them. I've
found that the mealy mouthed gossips are immature, don't have
enough work to do, jealous, or just plain vidictive little rats.
Who needs em. Do your job and go home. Keep a smile on your
face. Why get bent out of shape over it?
If you don't have a case or they don't have money, sink to their level.
Best I can do.
I like the art of war quote.
the problem is that I'm leaving "the company" and will be in direct competition with them when I start my own practice.
there is potentially alot of green at stake, on both sides.
I truly believe that the attacks will get worse as time goes on.
if i do nothing, the people that know me well will still be there, but others might start to believe the garbage.
I guess it bothers me so much because it's not the way i behave.
Sun Tsu.
Highly recommended.
Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical. If it is to your advantage, make a forward move; if not, stay where you are. Anger may in time change to gladness; vexation may be succeeded by content.
- Sun Tzu
Ditto...
Now, if this is a business matter, falsely alleging lack of skill, unethical behavior, etc, that is not personal, that is money. If the allegations are completely untrue, and likely to cause you financial harm, have your attorney send them a letter, advising that continued conduct will be seen as actionable, directing them to cease and desist. IF you DO have to sue them at a later time, continuing that behavior after having been put on notice MAY trigger punitive damages.
Sun Tzu had good advice. So did my Mom "Stir something long enough, you'll get some on you."
there is potentially alot of green at stake, on both sides.
I truly believe that the attacks will get worse as time goes on.
if i do nothing, the people that know me well will still be there, but others might start to believe the garbage.
I guess it bothers me so much because it's not the way i behave.
You answered your question in your last line. Dont stoop to his level, and watch whos business succeeds. Guaranteed, it WILL be YOURS.
Doug
Tom
thanks for all the advice and laughs!
I like the art of war quote.
the problem is that I'm leaving "the company" and will be in direct competition with them when I start my own practice.
there is potentially alot of green at stake, on both sides.
I truly believe that the attacks will get worse as time goes on.
if i do nothing, the people that know me well will still be there, but others might start to believe the garbage.
I guess it bothers me so much because it's not the way i behave.
Actions speak louder than words. Those that know you will spread the good word. Those that are talking trash will disappear when they get no action.
If you hold your head high and follow through with your decisions I think you will be fine.
What is the saying? don't add fuel to the fire. Don't keep the game going by mud slinging. Just be the person you are and your character will be recognized for what it is.
In such a judgemental world, most people are very critical of others. If you are stand up it will be recognized. Most people don't want to hear a bunch of trash talking and don't care for those that do it. It is a big turn off to hear this kinda crap.
I don't know what kinda talk you are getting but don't forget it is said even bad publicity is good publicity. You may have a chance to prove yourself.
The truth will out. You can't defend yourself from a person or group that's spreading gossip about you. Rise above it, in time (much less than you might think) the rumors will cease and the matter will be forgotten. Be of cool nature and rise above the name calling, it will elevate you in the eyes of your friends and peers.
Tom
Yeah what he said! coulda saved me some typing.
Good luck with your new practice.
Want to start a sleep lab?[:D]
dagger and vambrace.
good luck
The truth will out. You can't defend yourself from a person or group that's spreading gossip about you. Rise above it, in time (much less than you might think) the rumors will cease and the matter will be forgotten. Be of cool nature and rise above the name calling, it will elevate you in the eyes of your friends and peers.
Tom
what he said...
and if that dont work, i got a couple body bags ill give you a special deal on...[;)]
I learned a long time ago, you can't match wits with an idiot so don't even try. I love to DEBATE but when those of opposite opinions want to get into a serious FIGHT, I just walk away or just SMILE !!!
AT
If they want to provoke any further, I make sure they throw the first punch - and let them have it.
If they are costing you money by damaging your business reputation then you have to sue them and make the suit public.
Margaret Thatcher
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
Mark Twain
Draft a letter to the media pointing out this information along with information or sources to verify it. Send it to the party who is causing you problems with the threat of submitting the letter if they don't back off.
Any chance they are right?
Or just nuke em
[;)]
I had a sitdown with the offensive ones today.
I calmly asked them to stop the smear campaign or I would be forced to turn my lawyer loose.
they of course, denied everything, but (get this!) agreed to stop spreading rumors if I would back down on my plans to go private!
yes, you read that right!
I stayed calm and didn't show any anger or concern and excused myself from the meeting saying "if you want to discuss this again please call my mr xxxx" (my lawyer)
an hour later i got a phone call (on condition of anonymity) that they expected me to go ballistic and threaten them and i screwed up their plans.
also told me that the recorded the meeting!
so, it's in the lawyers hands now.
thanks again
tom
If it's something serious, I'd call them on it.
Roundhouse kick to the side of the head works every time. Spinning back fist is just about as effective if enough energy is created. [^]
Jim
[:D]
[:p]
Edit: Please note that is to deal with your attorney. All attorneys suck, except mine of course. My relative. [;)]
Elbows are seriously underrated...and very effective as well!